I have been married for over 10 years with 2 kids. I have fallen out of love with my husband. He has told me that if we ever get divorced that he will not let the kids go. He has violent tendencies due to a medical condition (he is treated, so he doesn't have flare ups). Also, he has disowned his whole family so my family is his only one. And he doesn't really have any friends except maybe a couple people from work. However, he doesn't go out with friends or anything.....How do I tell him I want a divorce? I don't want to leave him completely alone, but I just don't love him anymore!
2006-11-29 06:55:57 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your best bet is to tell him that you are not sure about how you feel about him anymore. You need a little time apart.
Once you are separated, then you can tell him that you do not love him anymore. But you will need to take it slowly so as not to bring up one of his violent episodes.
Take care,
Troy
2006-11-29 07:02:15 · answer #1 · answered by tiuliucci 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How ever you do it, make sure the children are not in the home, and if possible have a friend or family member near by, since you mentioned violent tendencies, remember there is safety in numbers, and make sure you have thought the whole think out, because in most if not all cases there is the "snowball effect", Good Luck, and be careful.
2006-11-29 07:02:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Be honest and communicate your feelings with him. As for the threats about him not letting the kids go well he'd have to prove that you are an unfit parent in order to gain custody. But if you fear that he may have an outburst and perhaps hurt you and/or your kids then you may be best to go to a family member and have them look after the kids while you tell him. And if necessary, because of fear of violence, you may just have to either leave him a note telling him that your gone or move out and just have him served with separation/divorce papers.
2006-11-29 07:05:57 · answer #3 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First get a lawyer, then tell him straight out, no court will give hime the children, unless you've messed up some how. If he is violent, then move out while hes at work and leave him a note stating why you're leaving him. But make sure you go somewhere that he won't find you if he is violent. GOOD LUCK!!
2006-11-29 07:00:25 · answer #4 · answered by captianpr 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no easy way to do this hon, and I feel for you, as I was in a similar place a few years ago. First off all, I wuoldn't worry too much about losing your kids; secondly, you have to just tell him that you have fallen out of love with him; you can't be responsible for him having or not having friends; he will make friends. Good luck!!!! I mean it, I hope everything goes OK.
2006-11-29 06:58:46 · answer #5 · answered by oneamy2001 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think people that are truly in love with each other ever "fall out of love" I think we as a society and being human would rather take the easy way out rather than working at marriage.
I am no expert, but i suppose you would not be posting this if you wanted an expert opinion. When I allowed Jesus Christ to changed my life and submitted all things to his will, he also changed my marriage and the way I view my wife and family.
So with all that said "Just Look-Up" for your answer.
P.S I will pray for God to give you the RIGHT answer.
2006-11-29 07:21:17 · answer #6 · answered by railroader 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Princess try to find out why you fell out of love first of all .if you get divorced he wont get the children due to his medical condition that would be a threat to the children i take it he suffers fro m depressio n or anxiety or similar be care ful how you approach this subject . see your doctor first .the lack of friends worries me to think there is more wrong than you think . if youcan get his family onside again it may help . The kids ages need considering as well remember please be careful talk to me any time if it helps you are on my prayer list now I am a 46 year old man hope i can help cheers for Alan
2006-11-29 07:09:33 · answer #7 · answered by not a mused 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a way to love him again. It sounds to me like he really needs you right now. You're supposed to be his wife, not a fair-weather girlfriend. Your job now is to keep your family together and make your marriage work. Get a sitter for the kids and go on a trip. Take baths together, talk through all hours of the night, sleep in, get room service, cuddle, watch movies, etc...
Find that reason you married in the first place and go back to that. Truly, it's the best thing you can do. Don't give up so easily. Marriage is hard and sometimes, it takes everything you've got.
2006-11-29 06:59:59 · answer #8 · answered by Dr. Kat 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Good luck to you. You're in a bad situation. I've told my husband I want a divorce several times, and he just pretends like I'm not talking to him.
I have to tell you, it sounds like you might have some feeling left for him, or you wouldn't really be worried about leaving him alone. Is there any chance you could work it out with some counseling? If you tell him it's that or nothing, he might agree.
I feel for you. Do what you have to do to be happy. Hope it works out for ya.
2006-11-29 07:00:24 · answer #9 · answered by Robin 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Wow...this is not going to be easy...as a divorced woman myself i tell you sit down with him and just tell him with the papers in hand, none of that i am going to break it to him gently...i dont know how he is going to react but by his history...i think he is going to be one pissed off husband, you my friend, have to talk to your family before you do this and have someone ready to take you in,just in case he turns violent. Be safe... that is the most important thing here, and protect the kids. Yes definitely have a brother, parents close around in case he feels like hurting you...this has happened to many woman and children so be prepared. Dont mean to scare you just playing devil's advocate.
2006-11-29 07:03:09 · answer #10 · answered by jayjay 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋