My husband and I are going through a hard time. I love him with all I have and he loves me, but it isn't working out. Life is breaking us appart. He has been acting strange. We are seperated, but we still live together and he sleeps on the couch. This is only the second day of seperation and he comes to our bed this morning and holds me. He starts saying sweet words and says he canot hide his love for me and we make love. Half way through he stops and says Idon't know if this is right, but he finishes anyway. When he was leaving for work I told him I love him as he walks out the door and he replies, 'what do you want me to say. I only did that so I wouldn't do anything stupid with another girl today"
I am so confused and hurt right now. It is hard enough to have lost the man I love more than anyone else, and he is playing with me now. I am completly alone and I have no family to talk to and all of my friends cannot be trusted. What do I do? I need advice.
2006-11-29 06:55:14 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Any man who would say, "I only did that so I wouldn't do anything stupid with another girl today" ... is not a man at all, but a boy...and a very foolish one at that.
If you stay with him you need to do so knowing that he will continue to hurt you until there's nothing left in you to hurt.
Are you willing to do that?
2006-11-29 07:00:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow!!! What an insult!! Did he take advantage of you! That is (as far as I'm concerned) an admission (or a warning) that he's off to find alittle snapper on the side. Pure and simple.
I suspect that this is the beginning of the end. I find it absolutely amazing that not only do so many people have such dysfunctional marriages but that people can be so cruel to one another. You don't need advice...you need a plan to find a way out the door and leave him for good. Unless of course you just want to be used as an outlet for his seminal emissions...which seems to be the case right now.
2006-11-29 15:03:43 · answer #2 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep your family friends out of it then. They tend to take sides and keep fighting about it after you've already fixed things. Get yourself to a counsellor or a minister. Even if you don't belong to a church most clergy will help you or refer you to someone who can. You guys can get through this. If you DON'T break each other's trust you can do it.
Make an appointment with a marriage counsellor at a time you know he can go. Tell him you are going and you want him to come, but if he won't go, go alone. Keep going. Each time invite him to go - don't nag, just "would you come with me this time"? If he says no don't cry or scream just go.
Most likely he only said that this morning to hurt you, because he feels hurt. It is painful to read about people who clearly do love eachother but are feeling torn apart anyways. I wish you the best and hope you can find a way. Be patient (but not passive).
p.s. DO NOT GET PREGNANT
2006-11-29 15:10:49 · answer #3 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seriously, I am going through the EXACT same thing. Let's chat!
My bf and I were together for 5 years. He wasn't treating me right, but I love him to death. We live together, I broke it off, he's still there, we're still having sex, he gave me the same reply about not wanting to do it with other chicks, I have no family, no friends to talk to or trust. Don't know what to do. Thought I was the only going through something like this.
2006-11-29 14:59:42 · answer #4 · answered by * 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try counseling, either together or separate. He sounds like he's confused too, a counselor would be good for both of you, but if he won't go, you go anyway. You need someone to talk to that understands your feelings and will help you sort through them.
2006-11-29 15:01:43 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He not a man, he just told you what he thought it would take to have sex with you. You need to leave him and find a man that loves you completely not just when he's horny. Thats now fair to you, to be used as a sexually toy. Leave him and find your true knight in shining armor, he's waiting for you trust me.
2006-11-29 15:07:23 · answer #6 · answered by captianpr 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just leave him girl is not worth it...move on ... he is just playing with you into he finds some one else...
2006-11-29 15:06:26 · answer #7 · answered by ~Vale~ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋