My husband lost a woman that he considered more of a mother than his own. I'm trying to be there for him and asked him if he would like me to go to the funeral with him and he absolutely blew up, yelling at me and saying I was trying to trap him down to an answer and that he didn't know what he wanted or needed. I told him that I just wanted to be here for him if he needed me. His response was, "Fine. Go to the friggin' funeral." (one of those words was changed for sensoring purposes) I understand that he is upset, but when someone offers themselves I just don't think the response should be, "Then just friggin' do it." I'm very taken aback by his reaction and my thoughts are just to leave him be and let him deal with it alone. This goes against my grain. I am his wife and when he grieves, I grieve. We're partners and should be there for each other. Before we were married, his grandpa passed away and he disappeared for two days. Real answers only please, no sarcasm needed.
2006-11-29 06:53:18 · 7 answers · asked by Calli G 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Men do grieve in different ways. Perhaps he's going through the anger phase of his grieving process, and is taking his anger out on you. You are already there for him, and I understand that this behavior hurts you. If it were me, I'd give him space, and wait for him to come to me when he's ready. He will. I'm sorry for your loss, and wish you all the best.
2006-11-29 07:00:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can help u on that one....i just lost my brother about a year ago. And my dude don't know how to comfort me or show me that he know or can see what I'm going through or my pain....my best answer to u is to just b there when he need u the most, cause when u loose someone close to u it takes a toll on u and ur surroundings around u. The littlest things can make u made and piss u off...I was an emotional wreck when my brother was killed but i knew that anger wasn't going to solve my problems for me but hurt people in the process...try to sit down and talk to him again and try to put yourself in his shoes and what u would have done if that was u.......No One Knows The Pain A Grieving Person Goes Through Till They Go Through It They Self
2006-11-29 07:07:55 · answer #2 · answered by LOLA 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to him - let him get angry and upset. It's not you he is angry and upset with, but he needs to release what he is feeling. You must be prepared to be a target.
It's never easy - but "being there," whatever he says, is the only way to help - good luck.
2006-11-29 06:58:31 · answer #3 · answered by Plum 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is angry right now. I would say go with him but give him his space. You will know when he needs you.
2006-11-29 06:59:15 · answer #4 · answered by I love winter 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all.. he must talk abou tit?
God I can understand this.. I have not lost my mother... yet... but I understand grief.
whatever it takes.. just be there for him..
when he is an ***..
when he ........
just always?
hugs you both.
2006-11-29 06:55:57 · answer #5 · answered by Ken 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should try to cheer him up , take him out in the park or something like this
==========================================================
If you are single and have the time, please visit my site:
http://www.**************/go3.php
2006-11-29 06:56:25 · answer #6 · answered by john doe 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest going to church or synagogue with him.
2006-11-29 06:55:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋