What's wrong with me?

Question

All I want to do is meet a nice guy who will like me for who I am and enjoy going out and spending time together. I think friendship, not sex, should come first. I believe romance still exists. I want to care for that adoring boy who cares about me. I'm 21 and have never had a real boyfriend. I think I will be alone for the rest of my life. Maybe if I got an attitude and started being a jerk to people it would help. What do you think?

I appreciate all of your warm messages, words of encouragement, and ideas. I don't know if I could pick a best answer here! :-)

Answer 1

I think you have wonderful charisma, why would you want to change that? It would be like jumping off a rocket-ship. You will care for your someone special, you will see. Romance is not a thing of the past, yes it still exists and it because of people like you that it does, you believe it to be true and so it is..There is nothing wrong with you.

Answer 2

I think that ultimately you will find what you want. I have, and we are watching an adorable young man fall hopelessly in love over the last few months. He and the other boi are definately going to be long term, and maybe perm.

Love everyone, be out, so that those who are shy and DON'T spend time in clubs can find you -- and keep a positive caring attitude. Take reasonable care of yourself. Remember to communicate.

The next thing you know, you will have a boyfriend.

Yes, romance does still exist.

Kind thoughts,

Reyn
[e-mail]

Answer 3

I wouldn't try being a jerk to see if people will like you better, thats just silly. What I found when I was single was that if I was looking for a boyfriend or going out with friends with the intent to pick up or whatever, I usually didn't. I discovered that when I was least expecting it, that was when my soulmate and I found each other. Don't go out with the thought in your head that you need to go out and find yourself a man. Just go out with your friends and enjoy yourself, have fun, be friendly, talk to people. If you present yourself as an open, friendly person then people will be drawn to you. Date some guys casually, no sex, just good company and see what comes of that too. Bottom line though, don't stress over it too much, your worth as a person doesn't lie on whether you have a significant other or not. Be yourself, have fun and when you least expect it you'll meet the person you never thought you would.

Answer 4

Perhaps you just need to chill out a little and stop searching for Mr Right - he's out there and will find you when the time is right! If you do assume an attitude you will certainly attract men but they will not be the type you seem to be looking for (if you know the kind of man you want). At 21 it may be an idea to just have some fun for a while, if you settle down too early you may realise that you are trapped in an unhealthy relationship and find yourself back at square one, only somewhat older. Romance is out there, you just need to be more open to it. Good luck.

Answer 5

Don't change how you are just because you think it will attract a boyfriend. You want someone who cares about the real you, not someone you pretend to be. Be yourself and you will meet the right person. Try finding things you like to do and finding social situations that are related to them (art classes, book clubs, sporting events...) and you will meet people who like the same things that you do.

Don't turn into something you are not, and don't lose hope. Your perfect mate is out there somewhere, looking for you too! Good luck!!

Answer 6

Well, depends on what role you will play in the home. Even in Homosexual relationships, there is a feminie and masculine aspects in the home. Are you going to play the feminie role? If so, you need to act like a WOMAN. That means, clean house, good cooked meals, sex often, being direct, complents, and making him feel like your hero! If you are wanted to be the masculine infulence in the home, then you need to be a MAN. No mushy stuff, be a man..I can't say how to cuz i'm a very feminie woman, lol!! But good lucky sweety! Love is out there! Never give up, and never stop loving!!

Answer 7

Not to worry. You're still very young. Far too young to be talking about being alone forever. Maybe you should expand the types of places you go to. If you're only going to out to nightclubs and bars, you're limiting your potential for meeting people. Join one of the many gay organizations around - sports, political, arts - to expand your opportunities to meet people with more on their minds than sex.

They say that when you're looking hardest for that one special person, you're unlikely to find him, but when you're just going about your business not expecting it, that's when the love of your life will walk in.

So stop stressing yourself out and just enjoy being young, out and gay in a relatively free and tolerant society. Every guy you date doesn't have to be "the one" and you don't have to have sex if you don't want to. But expanding your social circle increases the likelihood that you'll meet someone you may form a special connection with or will meet someone who will introduce you to that special someone.

Answer 8

My, aren't we dramatic???
Go with the flow. Take it easy. The best way to meet someone is to not be looking. Being a jerk will only make you more unhappy. The most attractive people are those with confidence and self fulfillment. The needy looking types are so obvious and repellent.

Answer 9

It is frustrating, but you are young enough and have plenty of time. Depending on the type of man you are looking for could be a problem.
Some guys are very superficial and that might not apply to you but then again it may.
Hang in there. You will find your love when you least expect it. :o)

Answer 10

Okay, 21 is still really young. I say be yourself. Be that nice guy, but don't give it all away RIGHT AWAY. Hold a bit back, and once you feel like your relationship is a two-way street, open up more and more. Good luck!