How do people fall out of love!?

Question

don't all those years of love count for something..there are so many divorces latley because "they fell out of love" well maybe it wasne't love in the first place..i just don't see how people can so easliy just fall out of love?

Answer 1

because of the change of life between him and his partner
he may feel like his partner lost her advatages that he loved her because of that
so he fall out of love

Answer 2

Marriage is not about love. It is about the commitment you made to that person. Sure, when you first start dating someone you become infatuated with them and then leads to love and so on. Once you get married you see that they are not perfect and they have faults just like anyone else, they become irritating. Ask any married couple who has been married a long time and ask them if it has always been about love. Surprisingly they will tell you no. You have to remember that person made a commitment and a vow to stay by that person thru thick and then. People fall in and out of love all the time, but commitment is the key word, and respect.The reason why there are probably so many divorces is because people thought marriage was ideal and a fairy tale. It is not, it takes work, and people take and take from a marriage, because they have a mindset. It is reality, bills have to get payed, and when that person falls out of love with that person they move on forgetting the vows they made. It is sad really.

Answer 3

I dont think its an abrupt falling out of love that causes this. I think alot of divorces are due to people rushing into it. This day and age, everyone wants the HOLLYWOOD romance, not realizing, they get a Hollywood ending... meaning a marriage of 4-8 months. I also think that people are less accepting nowadays... I mean that back when marriages lasted, people WORKED for them, through the rough times, NOW people figure why spend my life unhappy or LIfe is too short, and they give up. Another reason is that people really do change sometimes. If you marry someone at 20 yrs of age, they DEFINITLY will not be the same person in 5 yrs. At 20 people are still growing, and the rise of divorces are mostly between people of the ages 18-25 who get married. Hope this helps

Answer 4

The problem is that culturally (popular media, tv, hollywood, music, etc) we have put too much emphasis on feelings. Feelings are important but overrated. Feelings are ephemeral, they change, cool, rekindle.

When we speak and think about love we generally are contemplating the feeling, the emotion. But in my mind love is a verb. It is an active verb. If you act out through love, do loving things, treat those around you in a loving way then you maintain the connection with those around you notwithstanding your feelings of the moment. But this takes discipline, courage and effort. Unfortunately too many of us are lazy. Its easier to think:
that if it were "true love" it would be easy. Since its not it must not be "true love" here's a new person I feel for so that must be love.

Then we jump from person to person, relationship to relationship, chasing feelings instead of accepting the person we are with and more importantly accepting ourselves.

Assuming that you were originally attracted to one another, and you took the time to learn whether you were compatible in your living styles, and that there is no abuse, drug use or cheating, moving on is probably a bad idea. The reality is it is all in your own head, its a matter of choice. There are no magic stars magic destiny. Choose to Act out your love, get back in touch with what attracted you in the first place or Choose NEXT, and then Next, and then NEXT .....

Answer 5

Once you're in love you see the person as your prince or princess. After a while you start to realize that that person has some negative sides to him/her like you do as well. If you really love that person you'll learn to put up with that, because they're not all that bad, like you're not all that bad.
A relationship is working to keep the spark going and rekindle the spark when you need to.
And make sure it doesn't become dreadful.
If you both decide to do it , you won't fall out of love that easy, but it needs work.
If either one of you isn't willing to work on keeping the relationship going, it will die eventually.

Answer 6

In my opinion it's laziness on the part of one or both partners. Love takes work and some people only want the easy part of a relationship and when reality hits they can't handle it. Love is not always getting along and agreeing. Two people have two opinions, two views on things and can agree to disagree. People fall out of love because they don't want to work at it anymore. It takes two people constantly working at a relationship and living in reality of life's little bumps and trials. Ditching is easy, giving up is easy. If someone stops trying to grow in the relationship it won't work no matter how much the other tries. If some gives up and walks away, or strays, .......they aren't worthy of your love anyway!

Answer 7

In a word: Pudge. When people ask you if you are in shape and you respond mentally, "hey, round is a shape" then this is the first sign that you may never do it with another human being again.

People fall out of love because they are selfish, self-serving bastards with 10microsec erection capacities or the emotional depth of an Ocean Perch.

Love is Work, Work is Hell, therefore through the Transitive Property...well you do the math...

Enjoy!

Answer 8

I fall in and out of love with my wife on a weekly basis. Once you really commit to a relationship, it becomes work. Sometimes hard work! Finding the balance between looking out for yourself (needs, wants, desires) and taking care of the one you love is a real challenge. It can be very difficult deciding when to compromise and when to stand your ground. Some times people just give up, it isn't worth having two jobs, and love don't pay the rent! Did someone "fall out of love" with you?

Answer 9

That is because they were never "In Love" to begin with. Many people marry out of infatuation, or lust. Being "In Love" transcends petty differences and hardships.
Many people dont really think before they marry. They just get caught up in the moment without coming to grips with the fact that they are not meant for each other.

Answer 10

when you get married or start going together all you can see is "each other"...as the job gets tougher at work..maybe both are working to buy or maintain a house...the priority of "each other" gets smudged. Then the kids start to grow and become harder to deal with and he resents not having just you. You get bored with him being gone and you find friends to fill the space. He goes out with the guys for fun because you aren't fun anymore...and thats where he meets other women....or maybe at work..he has a private talk with a woman and longs for more talks...you visit a friend and her cousin is there..you two sit down and chat..you have fun with him..he understands you..
It's all a lot of trash......Go to your husband...explain that you would live in a tent with him anywhere and that you love him and want see how you both got sidetracked. .
Pray about it together..Ask God to watch over you both and they say with God in your marriage..who can break a threefold cord?
Hope you find peace.
Remember God blessed your union..so get back to just "each other"

Answer 11

I think people fall in love with the idea of what a person is. When the reality of the way things really are sets in, the love isn't strong enough to survive.