I do not...
would it be wrong of me to leave him?
I could just stay with him for the kids, but I know that I will be miserable. I am also not sure that I will be able to remain faithful because I do not really want to be with him anymore...
2006-11-29 05:45:32 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
no i have not "chosen" to fall out of love with him...there is always a tad bit more to any story than ppl are willing to reveal...
i have just come to the realization that we are not as compatible that we once thought we were...due to past experiences/incidents...i am more or less just fed up...
we have been together since high school and we have had some pretty rough times...i just regret that it took me six years to figure out that he is never going to change...
2006-11-29 05:55:41 · update #1
no, i have never cheated...
but i have also never stayed in a relationship that i wanted out of...
so now im pretty much thinking anything is possible...
2006-11-29 06:04:20 · update #2
hi...someone named KATIE emailed me...
could you email me again but this time give me your email address because when i tried to reply it said that you email was not confirmed...and the answer is sure =)
2006-11-29 06:20:24 · update #3
It would be wrong to stay, if you do not want to be there...and staying "for the children" is a sorry excuse (but common). Kids are very perceptive...they know when parents aren't getting along or when the love has gone...you aren't doing them any favors by staying together...all they learn then is tension, resentment, how parents can fight, how parents can cheat, etc (you get it).
Relationships run their course...few last 'til death' and I don't know that they are meant to...as long as it's good and right for both, be together...when it's no longer good and right, then go your separate ways...
You both deserve the opportunity to be happy, and be with someone who thinks you are as awesome as you think they are...don't deprive yourself of that opportunity, nor your husband...
2006-11-29 05:49:32 · answer #1 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 5⤋
Don't give up until you are really sure. Relationships go through lots of phases. Sometimes it's good, and sometimes you question how you feel about it other. It's natural to feel like that. Just because you don't feel like ripping his clothes off all the time, you still love him - you said so yourself. This is something, at least. If you hated his guts, that would be a different story.
You have children together - that's a bond that will connect you forever. Decide what is right in your heart, but don't make any rash decisions until you have thought this through for a long time. Talk to him too. Love is a precious thing, and you are lucky to have found each other. Hold on to what you once had - it's not necessarily too late to start over together and find that love again.
2006-11-29 13:51:08 · answer #2 · answered by helly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've fallen out of the 'initial stages' of love, and everyone does. That's a good thing, because...that's not love. It never was.
Actual love begins with a choice to love. After that comes the work... the committment, doing things you know are right, even when you don't want to. It's being faithful in spite of all the temptations. It's building something that didn't exist before.
You want to experience love? Then act out of a decision to love. And if you keep doing that, in time you will experience what love actually is. Love isn't something that happens to you. It isn't something you 'fall into' and then 'out of'. It's something you 'do'!
If you move on now, you'll come to this same place with someone else. And you'll face these same choices all over again.
But right now the price is greater, because of your children.
You said that you could stay with him but that you would be miserable. Well, the only reason you'd be miserable is because you've made this about you, but life doesn't work that way. Life isn't about us.
If you don't accept that now... you one day will. But by then there will be a great deal of damage to face. I promise you.
Remember what I've said, because one way or the other, you'll one day discover that I was telling you the truth.
2006-11-29 13:59:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is a life long decision, so is having children. Both deserve top priority to be successful.
I agree that counseling may be helpful in determining why you fell out of love, and may help you two figure out ways to get that back.
Remain faithful to the marriage, if you don't it Will only pull you farther out of it. Keep the kids feelings in mind more than yours when you are making these decisions, they didn't ask to be born into this and are completely innocent - yet it's the children that feel the effects way more than the adults in situations like this.
2006-11-29 13:56:50 · answer #4 · answered by Govt45 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say stick it out with him. Some people die and suffer endlessly for their kids. So being miserable..well as long as you and him don't endlessly fight. If that's the case, then go. leave. But don't ruin things just because you've fallen out of love with him. Try to rekindle the passion. Have more sex. Go out more often. Just remember- the price for love is paid for in blood. Love for your children is unconditional. So should be the love of for thier father.
2006-11-29 13:50:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Don't stay together for the kids. Why don't you try a trial separation? That way you can get some distance and decide if you really do want to end it permanently. Good luck.
2006-11-29 13:48:17 · answer #6 · answered by Eve 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you love him, then why do you want to leave him? Why are you miserable being with someone you love?
"Being in love" is the early stages of a relationship. Loving someone is forever.
Get some counseling. If you are bored, then find ways to keep yourself interested.
2006-11-29 13:47:57 · answer #7 · answered by Karen L 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
i have been in your situation before. i talked to my ex and told him what i thought we needed to make this relationship work. (we also had a child together) he never once tried to make things better so i left. i didn't want my little girl to grow up thinking that she just had to settle in life. i wanted her to know what it is suppose to be like when two people that are together to be REALLY in love. her father and i get along really good now and she sees that her momma is really happy with the person she is with and that her dad is really happy with the person he is with. in the end everything turned out fine and everyone is happy. i say try to work on it and if your feelings don't change then do what you feel is best for you, your husband and children. Good Luck!!!
2006-11-29 13:52:24 · answer #8 · answered by mmh 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Put your own selfish needs and wants above what is best for your kids, who just want mommy AND daddy to be around for them.
That way, Western civilization will collapse even sooner, and the Chinese can complete their takeover of the world. Muahahahaha!!!
2006-11-29 13:49:52 · answer #9 · answered by Stretchy McSlapNuts 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do what will make you happy. Yes, you need to think about the kids, but will they be happy with a miserable Mommy? You only live once.
2006-11-29 13:53:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋