i am really overwhemled and i am going to leave?

Question

my life is really depressing to me. i recently got a promotion but its not really the job that i want. i have a degree. and also i just let some people move in with me and they are total slobs. very inconsiderate. and they disrespect me and verbally abuse me. but i dont want to kick them out because they are sort of family and they have no where else to go. i just feel helpless

okay the thing is that i feel like i owe them. a couple of years back, i was going through some things and they took me in, and now i feel like i owe all that i am and have now to them

Answer 1

First of all, decide what you want and do it. You're in a job you don't like.....keep it until you find one you do like.

"The are sort of family"...no they're not. They're users and abusers.

Until you take control of your own life you will feel helpless...and that is because you are.

Now get up, dust off and decide what you want and then figure out how to get it. No one can do this for you...but you.

Answer 2

You could be surprised how many people are going through the same problem as you...like me for example.

Having people that you arent pleased to live with is really depressing especially when you have such a down to earth heart not to chase them away. Well since i have no where else to go but put up with these people, I have chosen to ignore them on whatever they do and mind my own business. I have maintained a distance from them to avoid too much conversation. I have created a comfort zone within my room and created a nice environment so as to not get disturbed by them. Redecorated my room with nice stuff. Coz thats the place I am gonna come back and see after a long tiring day of work. Ignore them and make urself comfortable in whichever manner you may.

Regarding your job.... I think just stick to the job you have and keep looking for other opportunities once you are settled down for sure. You may never know wat is there after gaining much experience.

Answer 3

I can relate to your situation. But I have found that in dealing with people living with you, the best thing to do is be honest with every one don't hold back what you are feeling for their sake it is your house after all!! If they are slobs tell them so, there are only two outcomes they will either understand and try to pick up after themselves or they won't and if you call them on it enough they will find somewhere else to go. Also I have found though much trial and error that if you don't like the job you have you are not going to succeed at it. Keep the job only until you can find something else that will make you happy and in the same financial situation. Which I understand is hard but if you enjoy what you do you will be so much happier all around.

Answer 4

Ok here is what I suggest you do. First of talkk to the people that you live with about them cleaning up after themselves. If this doesn't work then tell them that you will be forced to kick them out of YOUR house if they don't change and start to respect you. If the problem continues with the verbal abuse then you will have to tal further steps in protecting yourself. If necessary call the police, because you have every right to feel safe in your home. If they don't like your rules they can leave, even if they are your family.

It's better to be safe than sorry.

Answer 5

You need to respect yourself enough to talk to your house guests, and let them know that things need to change if they would like to stay in YOUR house. You would be surprised how much things will improve if you take charge... If you are valued enough to get a promotion, you could probably negotiate with your employer to create a job that suits you more. Or start looking for a job where you would be happier.

Life is too short to be unhappy, you create your own happiness. Find the things you like the best about yourself and your life and work from there. Also, stop by a bookstore and peruse the self-help section, what you need will jump out at you... I promise!

Answer 6

They probably knew from day one that they could do what they are doing because it appears that you have a difficult time telling people things you expect.
You dont want to hurt anyone feelings and they are taking advantage ot this.
They are certain they can do whatever they feel like doing and your just going to sit back and deal with this crap.
It is time to surprise your guests.
When they least expect it, raise your voice, tell them to stop all of this abuse or to GET THE HELL OUT.
Let them know you mean it.
Take back your authority and inform them that they do it your way, or take the highway.
Dont you think it is time you stand up for yourself?
Trust me, you will get their attention.

Answer 7

Set rules in the house that they have to follow if they cant dont that then kick them out family or not you deserve to be respected it is your place after all. Take the promotion for now but keep looking for that job you want. Never hurts to keep your eyes and ears open while you trudge on.

Answer 8

regardless if they are family or not, you are allowing them into YOUR home. You didnt have to do that. I think you should set some ground rules ( common sense rules i guess), such as cleaning up after themselves, doing some of the every day chores that should be done. If they dont follow any of them tell them they will have to leave than. after hearing that, they should want to help out. If not, they obviously dont respect you that much, and you shouldnt feel bad 4 having to kick them out.

Answer 9

First of all... YOU NEED TO TAKE CARE OF YOU!!!! I cant stress that enough. LIFE is too short to be in constant stress, at home or at work. If they are disturbing your quality of life, then kick them out. Im sure everyone else in your family would do the exact same thing if they were you. And if they wouldnt, then they should live with them!

Answer 10

You make everything very complicated. Don't think too much about others. As far as you are a qualified specialist, try to prove to be the best. and never mind what smb thinks of you. it's their business. From my own experience i know such people. You mustn't show your weakness. I will be happy if i am a bit helpful to you and you feel better now. Hugs From Irene))))