Me and my boyfriend have been together nearly five years and we just had our second son. With my first son he helped plenty. Now he never wants to help. I feel like he's not really bonding with this baby. The baby is more fussy then our first and a little smaller. But he's perfectly healthy. At first I thought maybe he was scared. But now I think he is just lazy. Please help. Thank you
2006-11-29 05:42:59 · 10 answers · asked by ~*cHrIsTiNe*~ 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
Don't take this the wrong way, but this is why it's good to get married before you have children. Sounds like he's being lazy and you need to deal with it before it gets worse.
2006-11-29 05:46:12 · answer #1 · answered by CelebrateMeHome 6 · 3⤊ 2⤋
You hand him his child, grab your purse and leave. I don't mean for good, just go see a movie, get your hair done, meet some friends for lunch (and turn your cellphone off). The longer you let this go on, the worse it will get. You need to put your foot down. I had to do this many times with my ex-husband. I tried talking to him, but he just didn't get it. Stand your ground! and if when you return from your few hours of relaxation, he starts to throw a tantrum; you give him THE LOOK and say in your most condescending, guilt-inducing way "What kind of man are you? you can't even spend a few hours with your own child?" Then you walk away, and refuse to talk anymore about it! Feel free to go ahead and do this once a week or so.
2006-11-29 06:01:20 · answer #2 · answered by who-wants-to-know 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honey all I can say is good luck and if you find the answer let me know. We have 3 kids now and it pretty much happened the same for me too. I ve tried everything but holding a gun on him, and nothing seems to be a permanent fix. He'll help for a day or two and then its back to the same old thing.
2006-11-29 05:47:19 · answer #3 · answered by seaangell304 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you're asking here, I assume you've already tried asking him for help and it's not working. Just cut to the chase and tell him either he starts helping with the baby or you're going to pack up your boys and go stay with your mom, sister, aunt (whoever is around). Tell him it'll be great for him because it'll be a long damn time before he ever sees them again, and he can lay around and drink beer, watch football/racing, play on the computer (or whatever it is he does while you take care of the kids) all damn day if he wants. If he thinks you're bluffing, start packing their clothes and diapers and getting them ready.
2006-11-29 06:51:43 · answer #4 · answered by brevejunkie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately you can not make someone do something they do not want to do. He has probably changed in the time between children. And as much as it hurts he probably just doesn't care anymore. I do not mean he doesn't love his child...just doesn't care about those things that us mothers do.
Talk to him express your concerns in a positive non-confrontational way. Try to get him to talk to you (though do not expect too much) and just let him know.
Think about if this is how you are happy and if this is how you want to raise your children. Good luck
2006-11-29 05:53:17 · answer #5 · answered by foolnomore2games 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl if i was you i would tell him that i didnt got pregnant by myself, he enjoyed the moment, so he should enjoy he's baby too!!! if he still doesnt want to help stop doing things that you usually do for him, like cook, clean, do laundry or even having sex and tell him that because you are so busy with the baby, you dont have much time left for your own life, so that the little time that you do have left you need to spend it on you and that he can get his butt up and do his own things!!
2006-11-29 05:47:18 · answer #6 · answered by yennyfer 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell him that it took 2 to make the baby and it takes 2 to care for it. it's all about responsibility and it sounds like he's not taking responsibility for it. tell him to be a man.
2006-11-29 05:46:35 · answer #7 · answered by hoopsgirl808 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) Ask him to do specific things -- some men just don't know how to help out
2) Give him support & compliments when he is helping out
3) Communicate w/ him and tell him how you feel
2006-11-29 05:59:30 · answer #8 · answered by Proud mother! 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The artful withholding of sex might help, but he will need to know why it's being withheld...
2006-11-29 05:51:50 · answer #9 · answered by morlock825 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
PUT A GUN TO HIS HEAD THEN GET HIGH...HEHAHEE
2006-11-29 05:45:30 · answer #10 · answered by Hannah 2 · 1⤊ 5⤋