I met a girl and fell in love with her. The only problem was that we are of two separate races. Are relationship was so good and intense. I asked her to marry me and she said yes. Then her family found out about me (minus the proposal). Now she keeps telling me that she doesn't know what she wants, she doesn't think she want s to commit, and that maybe she would like to be with a man of her own race. I keep telling her not to push me too far away. She tells me that I am the best guy and that she loves how I love her, but then when family step in she gives in. She has made her mind up that she wants to be with me three times now. Each time lasts until someone inluences her. She is a people pleaser and doesn't want to do things against her parents wishes. Now my heart is broke but I'm still doing the fighting for us, but I want to know is there any hope left in this case?
2006-11-29 04:58:34 · 16 answers · asked by TheT 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I do not think it is over. Trust in God and what will be, will be. Good Luck
2006-11-29 05:04:01 · answer #1 · answered by Mz. M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Think about it this way: even if she does finally say "yes" - the fight will not be over. If she's the way you're describibing her - a "people pleaser" - you will always be "fighting for her" one way or another. Do you REALLY want to spend your life this way? An intensity of feelings is not a good reason to commit to a lifetime of misery. You will meet different people and fall in love, but not everyone you will be compatible with.
2006-11-29 05:08:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The people I know that are in a mixed race relationship all had a thing with their families. But you know what...they got over it. If she really loves you and you really love her, the family will come around when they see how happy you two are. What really concerns me is how they influence her....do you really know what you are getting into? You aren't just going to marry her, you are going to marry her family. She needs to grow up and grow a backbone. Is she mature enough to get married? Are you sure you are up for the challenge? It ain't going to be easy. Remember, if it is ment to be, it will be. Maybe you need to back off and see how she reacts. Let her chase you. If she doesn't, know that there are more fish in the sea. There is someone out there for you...don't settle for someone that doesn't love you as much as you love them.
2006-11-29 05:08:14 · answer #3 · answered by Becky F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like her family or some other people are influencing her and telling her things to change her mind about marrying you. IF she really loved you-s he would not care what she has to overcome and marrry you but- she soudns like she cares about what others think and she doens't know what she wnats out of life right now. At least she doens't want you. Just let it go and move on. Why fight for the relationship you want to have with her if she won't fight too? she' s not interested in even trying to get her family to accept you so why are you gonna bother to fight it
2006-11-29 05:05:08 · answer #4 · answered by Ms.Budonkadonk 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I think you need to have a serious serious talk with her. Tell her that if she really loved you she would not care what others thought (including her parents)because she would not be able to live without you! After the talk if she still doesn't know then im sorry, but shes not worth it. Trust me, if she doesn't realize how great of a person you are and how much you love her then shes not worth it!
I hope this helps :)
2006-11-29 05:10:02 · answer #5 · answered by Tracey Lee ♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say it but it does'nt sound like it. If she is a people pleaser then she will more than likely keep changing her mind back and forth and regardless of how you feel its really not fair to you in the long run. If you hav'nt all ready talked to her then do so and explain your feelngs and let her know how you truly feel about everything and then give her one more chance. If she does it again you may just have to let her go.
2006-11-29 05:06:29 · answer #6 · answered by seaangell304 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not over but I don't know that having a woman who is a people pleaser will benefit you at all....coming from someone who is one myself. I was kinda in the same situation except that my fiancee and I are of the same race....my parents just didn;t want me to marry him. She's gotta decide for herself. Distance yourself from her....don't give into her game and when you pull away and leave her alone....you'll start to see what she really wants.
2006-11-29 05:16:20 · answer #7 · answered by Tiffany 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a very delicate situation, and I know that many problems, such as this can occur when you mix races. I think you have to do what your heart tells you, I know that is the pad answer, but it is the only thing that I can think of. Maybe speak to her family or something, have a heart to heart.
2006-11-29 05:05:01 · answer #8 · answered by Light Bringer 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
is this a guy you met over the internet? It sounds very very comparable to you're getting used, as is this different lady also. He of route cares extra for this different lady yet needs to shop you stunning on until eventually it does not exercising consultation with them. don't be a fool, decrease off all ties with this guy and move on!
2016-11-27 21:46:16 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me cut to the chase: Your girlfriend would rather please others than be true to herself or to the man she professes love. You are not her top priority and actually, she is not her own top priority either.
She needs to learn, quite honestly, to act like a mature adult. Mature adults do not allow their family to dictate their choice of spouse. If she’s willing to accede to their wishes even though she loves you, then she is not mature enough to marry and you can do better.
At this point, I would probably give her an ultimatum: She needs to make a choice to either please her family or be with you. Apparently she cannot do both, so she has to make a choice. Give her a deadline and stick to it.
And if she does choose you, be prepared for her to hold up to you the fact that she made sacrifices of her family for you and/or that the problems of being with someone who is terrified of conflict and would rather please others than herself do not end with a wedding ceremony.
2006-11-29 05:06:46 · answer #10 · answered by Karen L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She obviuosly runs in the direction the wind is blowing at that particular moment, I suggest you part ways and find someone who truly cares about you and wants to be with you no matter what anyone else says. Good luck.
2006-11-29 05:05:11 · answer #11 · answered by marisanj 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋