I have a male friend and he keeps trying to turn the friendship into something more. Last night he called late with flowers. I took the flowers and said thank you and sent him on his way. I really like him but that's all. I think I'm hurting him - should I stop the friendship?
2006-11-29 04:57:44 · 18 answers · asked by Peace 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
It's hard. Theoretically you should tell him the situation and then everything carries on as it was before. Unfortunately, in real life this doesn't work out very often. Firstly, there is always the hope that you'll change your mind, then you get frustrated, and you find that you're always watching out that you aren't giving the wrong signals or encouraging them still. Maybe the best thing is to distance yourself a little, but it's a shame to lose a good friend, so think carefully.
2006-11-29 05:12:16 · answer #1 · answered by lianhua 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people say you cant have friends of the opposite sex, unless of course you happen to be gay. Because sometime or other, this kind of thing is bound to happen.
You say he has tried to move things on before and last night you took the flowers and sent him away. So you have already missed quite a few chances to nip this in the bud, so to speak. If he's really keen on you, the fact you havent put him straight before has probably given him hope.
You dont have to lose this guy as a friend but if you dont sit him down and sort this out PDQ, you will. Just don't call him and ask to meet him, as that will sound like a date.
2006-11-29 13:18:52 · answer #2 · answered by judipod 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No b/c you like him as a friend and there should be no reason why you guys shouldn't be friends. Have you tried talking to him? If you haven't, try... tell him how much you appreciate the friendship you guys share, try to make him understand that it wouldn't work out b/c you don't like him that way, but make sure he understands that you still want to be his friend and only his friend!.If you have tried, then try one more time and if that doesn't work them maybe it's better if you suggest taking some time away from the other. If after this period of time he still insists, then just end the friendship before he gets more heart broken. Besides what if he just has the feelings confused?
2006-11-29 13:24:02 · answer #3 · answered by princess2007 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO!!! You just have to make it very clear that you only look at him as a friend. Don't lead him on whatever you do cos you will hurt him and lose his friendship. To bring flowers he is obviously very kind and considerate, every1 could use a friend like that. You never know, if you saw him with someone else you might find you have feelings for him or maybe over time you could end up together anyway. Don't throw this guy away
2006-11-29 13:01:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anna L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The exact same thing happened to me a few years ago and I regret the way I dealt with it. I continued to be his friend which meant kept turning him down. It eventually messed his head up so much that he had to stop any contact with me. I was so selfish and I lost my best friend. I should have cooled it off a bit and seen him less until he felt he could handle it. If I'd backed off he'd probably still be my friend today.
2006-11-29 13:05:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This depends on how good of a friend he is and how much you are willing to lose. Just tell him straight forward, in the kindest way possible that you only see him as a friend. Dont overdo it, dont exagerate and please BE AS KIND AS POSSIBLE when you bring this up. IF he is a good friend, then after a short awkard time it will all go back to normal. If he just wanted to get some, then he will move on and you will soon be forgotten
2006-11-29 13:04:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO don't stop the friendship!! friends are for life!!!! sit him down and talk to him.............explain that if he over steps the marker then you will no longer be friends!!! trust me,if he likes you that much then he will do anything you ask so that he can continue to see you!!!!.............you never know,one day in the future maybe fate will deal its hand and you will be 2gether!! good luck
2006-11-29 13:06:31 · answer #7 · answered by chick07 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not, i would continue the friendship, you might eventually like him (the devil you know is better than the angel you don't know) But if not then tell him truthfully so you can have a cordial relationship and hope he gets the massage.
2006-11-29 13:07:33 · answer #8 · answered by valentinebaby 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sucks, but my advice is yes. Even if you tell him that you just want to be friends, he'll hold out hope for something more and hurt himself even more in the process. If you are absolutely sure there's nothing there, you have to end it.
Trust me, I've been on both ends of this.
2006-11-29 13:15:31 · answer #9 · answered by VintageQueen1985 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, however you need to handle this carefully. Have you given him the wrong signs, and by grief talk to him tell him about your feelings. I have female friends, and the lack of, or the having of a willy, does not dictate whether they are friends or not.
At one period in my life I went out frequently with 7 girls, they were all friends except one who was a bit special. I never "fancied" any of the others as "girls", but frequently chatted, went out with, or went around to their houses without the aforesaid special one.
2006-11-29 13:06:55 · answer #10 · answered by rinfrance 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋