Theres alot to this backgroud. My 2 kids dad, we were together for about 9 yrs...he is going through some legal issues out of state. He wants to come see the kids soon, incase its the last time in while. My boyfriend in the past has said he wants to be around, not present but just in another room. He does not like it and has almost gave me an "thats the end of us, if i go out with him"...I wont let my kids dad take the kids alone...not yet till courts are over...So time being if he can get money together to come visit he wants to see the kids, and not with my current boyfriend there...But also Im worried about my almost 4 yr old after her dadd leaves...She is a daddys girl and crys for him alot an dIm afraid it will just make her more sad to see him, especailly if its for a long time till the next visit...I agree with my ex and dont think my current boyfriend has much to say on this, Its more about his incerreties (sp) I think....
2006-11-29 04:53:32 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
This is a family issue.
Your boyfriend is not a part of the family until you say he is.
You may see whom you wish to see. I just recomend it is in a public place just so things dont escalate.
As for Daddys girl....
If you were a daddys girl would you want your mama to see to it affections were withheld from you because it would make you CRY??? you are the mom !! Get used to holding her when her heart is broken ... remember this, Children are stronger when you give them the tools. Give her the tools for understanding herself. Tell her She will see her Daddy and then he is going to be away for a while. Help her draw him a story of how she will miss him while he is gone. She can give it to him in person. She will be less anxious because she has gotten to tell her Daddy the "sorrow of her heart" How you handle her trama now can make or break you as someone she trusts with ALL her problems.
3 year olds worry too.
Its your job to make possitive learning possible. She is learning common sense....from you. today. Let her see her Daddy.please.
Good luck sweetie!
Suzie
2006-11-29 05:23:13 · answer #1 · answered by to tell ya the truth........... 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that the boyfriend should be allowed to state his opinion, but that should not effect your final say about what you decide to do with your children. Also if he is insecure maybe you guys could comprimise and tell him that you will meet the father with your children for say "Ice Cream Cones at the park" You could allow the children to interact with their father, and still be within close enough range that you would feel secure about where they are at....take a book enjoy the day and if your boyfriend is uncomfotable just explain to him that you will be in a public place and you also care about the well being of your children enough not to give them the false idea that you and "daddy" are together...muchos love good luck
2006-11-29 06:52:56 · answer #2 · answered by Jazey Baby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay....lets see if i get this straight. you won't let you ex take the kids anywhere without you. why not??? are you planning a life with your current boyfriend?? marriage? more kids? because yes he should have a say so.
you can get a temporary visiting order with the courts. you just have to make the effort to do so. if you don't trust the father, recommend supervised visitation with a non biased third party. personally, if you can't trust him around your kids in the first place, he shouldn't be around the kids at all.
as for the boyfriend.....yes, his feelings count.
2006-11-29 05:18:31 · answer #3 · answered by Bella 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should wait to find out what the couts decision is before you do anything. I would definatel have another person besides yourself present, just in case, maybe a mutual friend of you and your new boyfriend. As for the kids crying, of course they will , but kids are resilliant, and come through things better than most adults. You need to talk to your kids, maybe get them a therapist to talk to, it may help. In any case wait to hear what the judge says before you make any decisions. Good luck.
2006-11-29 05:13:03 · answer #4 · answered by tdakpj 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is between you and the kids father, your boyfriend has no say what so ever in this. Until he becomes the husband and decides to adopt your kids, then he really needs to stay out of it, unless he an the father can get along.
2006-11-29 06:24:46 · answer #5 · answered by Sapphire 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all your kids well-being come first. your boyfriend needs to understand that. I can see that he is insecure about you spending time with your ex but if you feel you need to be there to supervise then so be it. try to be sensitive to your boyfriends feelings and explain to him why you must be there and that he has nothing to worry about. let him know how much you care about him and that you dont have any interest in your ex. he needes to trust you on this one cuz these are your kids and without his trust your relationship with him is in serious trouble.
2006-11-29 05:14:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the 1st factor you will desire to do is to make certain your infant is risk-free. then you definately would desire to circulate to the police workplace and place a restraning order against him and get costody of your toddler to verify you adult males are thoroughly risk-free. you probably did a sturdy activity on leaving nevertheless.
2016-10-13 08:54:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's not the father so the answer is no, he does not have a say.
2006-11-29 05:08:42 · answer #8 · answered by storminnormin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋