I am not married, but have been with this man for 9 years.. I was having problems with perimenopause and yelling and screaming a lot.. I was a witch... Just found out he visited a massage parlor complete with happy ending and has been on the internet at his work with porn sites and dating services... Swears its over.. I have problems with forgiveness right now... NEVER ever would have expected this.. Tolerated low testosterone problems in the past and never thought of cheating myself.. He said it was a mistake and will never happen again.. I have trust issues.. He is wonderful with my children and was generally a very stable person.,.. Help!!!
2006-11-29 04:32:10 · 3 answers · asked by Its me!!! :) 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It was allegedly a hand job... Also found numbers when he was going out of town about a week after we seperated and got back together.. I was receiving phone calls and the like from the agencies wanting him to update his profile... We have no computer at home... I teach computer at school... I did some snooping when things didn't add up and he is pissed at me about that... Says it wasn't cheating... I say it was.. How would he have liked it if I did that?? His ex-wife did this and he divorced her...
2006-11-29 06:05:09 · update #1
Didn't he forgive you the "witchy woman" you were? It can be saved, but you have to forgive him first. Remember why he was looking.
2006-11-29 04:39:29 · answer #1 · answered by Bev 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the only real concern is the massage parlor. Almost all guys look at porn from time to time. How do you know about the massage parlor? Did he tell you? What kind of a happy ending. By no means is your acting like a witch, grounds for being unfaithful. However, you need to look at both sides of the coin. If you forgive, you have to FORGIVE, and not keep bringing up the past. He deserves some punishment, how severe is up to you, and only you!
2006-11-29 12:57:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can probably save it, but I would suggest marriage counselling. He needs to work through the issues of what he feels is missing in your relationship that he needs to fulfill elsewhere and you need a safe place where you can discuss all of this with him. Ask your doctor if they can refer you or look for a good private practice in your area.
2006-11-29 12:55:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋