Someone left a comment on another question of mine that my marriage could be made stronger. MY EA was my first love and I never felt those intense feelings I had with him with my husband. How do you fall in love with your spouse again, and it be more existant than before?
My husband and I have had a lot of differences over the years. The biggest problem we have had is a lack of communication, and no common interests except our children. Now we work opposite schedules and hardley see each other. We have been married for 13 years and have two children.
2006-11-29 04:27:02 · 15 answers · asked by :-) literary cappy 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Go back to basics. Start going on dates again (I mean REAL dates-- dinner, movies, babysitter for the kids). Try sending each other emails during the workday... they don't have to be about anything, just let him know you're thinking about him and want to see how his day is going. Start a project together. Do you need to landscape the backyard? Paint the living room? Plan it and do it together. Having a common goal will help you get closer. Good luck.
2006-11-29 04:32:10 · answer #1 · answered by Eve 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How do you think this wife feels? You already know how it feels since your husband had an emotional affair 5 times. Do the right thing, because it's the right thing to do. If he really wants out, then you need to tell him to make his own choice if he wants to leave his wife and 2 small children, and you need to think of your 3 children and if it is the best. What will happen you will have your kids half the time, he will have his half the time, and you are now the mother of 5. You'll have his angry wife mad at you, and your ex husband hurt, which he has done it 5 times to you and you forgave him each time, and held on to the pain, and you will have a new guy who had an affair (who kissed you while married) that could do it again. Look at this rationale and then decide if your being moved by 11 years and emotions or your using your logic. Either get some marriage counseling and firgure out if your 11 years is worth saving since it was when your husband put you through it 5 times, or you really think blending the two families is going to be better for all those kids your going to have to be a mom too.
2016-05-23 02:10:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't compare your EA with your husband. The EA is in the past and your husband is here and now. Try to develop common interests in something that neither of you has done before as a couple - something new and fun. Go to movies and talk about them afterwards over dinner. There are lots of things that are new that you two can try out depending on your personalities. Also, eharmony.com has a service for enriching couples' relationships.
2006-11-29 04:32:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very hard to keep a relationship rolling with kids and different shifts. My husband and I shared nothing in common either. We went days without even seeing each other.We were going to call it quits. But instead we decided to concentrate on each other. We arranged for a sitter and started dating again.We went bowling,skating,etc. We did things that we had never done together. It made us see each other in a whole new light.We still take little get aways.We include the kids sometimes.On these little dates, nothing of the previous days can be talked about, Quick calls during their work day is nice. Short and sweet.Keep it flirty.Good Luck!!!
2006-11-29 04:41:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may never be able to again.
This is the truth of the matter, there are many levels of Love and romance.
You are existing is a marriage of convenience, the Children...Your home....even your families.
Then one day, it happened...You found your self in a wild and exciting intimate affair. For one reason or another the affair ended.
Now you are seeking that same excitement from your present relationship. That excitement may never be there in your current relation ship.
So, what to do? You can try to find new areas of communication, new areas of Intimacy. Try to re-kindle that flame of passion.
Chances are that you will never find that degree of passion again.
That is the truth of the matter...sad, but true.
Never disclose to your husband what you experienced with that special Love, that will ruin any chances for a better Marriage.
We are never quite sure, what person will impact our lives for ever.
Good Luck to you.
2006-11-29 04:57:18 · answer #5 · answered by Mav 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow- thats a tough one- did you get married because you were in love or because children were coming? something about him has changed that you feel different. I don't think u were in love with the EA guy- it must have been a thrilling feeling to be with him. Talk to your husband about how you feel but don't tell him you love him less than the EA. It would help if u or him changed jobs so you can see each other more.
2006-11-29 08:36:51 · answer #6 · answered by Ms.Budonkadonk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had an affair with my ex that I was with for three years before we broke up. When I saw him again I felt all those feelings that I never felt with my husband. For awhile I wanted to be with my ex again and get divorced. Then I rememered WHY me and my ex did not make it and why I fell in love with my husband. It's been tough on both of us, he's always suspicious and I'm always scared that my emotions will get the best of me again. I had to cut off all contact with my ex, throw away all pictures and anything attached to him, and start focusing on my marriage again. You can fall back in love with your husband, and in fact you can fall in love all over again and love him more this time. Think of what he went through when you did that and how forgiving he must be, in other words, think of how much he must really love you to go through this with you and still be by your side. Try to remember how it felt when you first met him and try to think of what it would feel like if you lost him. The grass is always greener on the other side.
2006-11-29 04:38:38 · answer #7 · answered by ~*~A~*~ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
...and just what is an "emotional affair"? You mean someone whom you've cybered with? plus...lets face it. What we write is one thing. Putting it into practice is another. A wise idea would be to never judge a book by its cover.
You should be thankful your marraige has lasted 13 years. it never stays as lovely-dovey as it was initially. Security and being comfortable with one another settles in. This is mistaken for "lack of communication". Don't fall into that trap. Sh*t...I can sweep you off your feet with words...but you may not like me when you see me....it'd be quite a shock and probably send you running off into the night. Bear that in mind.
2006-11-29 04:34:15 · answer #8 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have to wonder how you ended up with a man whom you share no common interests with and who never made you feel as you did with guy number 1. I am not sure what you do to patch things up with someone who comes in at second place with you, whom you do not communicate well with, do not spend a lot of time with and with whom you share no interests but your children. I will, however, say that it appears you have nowhere to go but up.
2006-11-29 04:32:57 · answer #9 · answered by DJL2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You won't People change with time which is why everyone cheats in the first place.
The person you marry might not be the same person 15 years later. You can always try, but it is not always worth the effort.
He is probably cheating on you tto, so I woudln't bother.
2006-11-29 04:40:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋