Who wants to help me, please?

Question

I'm very sensitive and I keep my feelings bottled up inside. I write in my journal to express anger and my feelings. It's hard for me to talk to people about my feelings. Is this bad? I guess I don't trust a lot of people, I've had a lot of "best friends" let me down. What should I do? about my feelings and this whole situation?

Answer 1

if you have trouble relating to people from past experiences it's normal. sometimes people aren't who they seem. take your time with people and open up when you're ready. but, if it's to the point where you can't relate at all and it's affecting your ability to funtion, work, school, social settings, then get counseling. talking about it to a non-biased party can do wonders. but take your time, you'll get there. keeping a journal is great therapy and an awsome way to relieve stress, so don't stop doing it. and it helps to write a letter to the people you feel hurt or betrayed you and read it to yourself. don't mail it unless you want to. it helps getting out the anger or dissapointment and helps in the healing process. you'll be fine. much luck.

Answer 2

Find a really good friend, be open-minded when meeting new people. Some of the people I thought I could never be friends with became really close friends. You should definitely not keep your feelings bottled-up because some day you can blow up in someone's face and it will be messy. If you can't find anyone to talk to about it then draw, write poetry, do anything to express your feelings other than just writing them down because I feel writing stuff down makes them a bit permanent (unless you dispose of the papers you write on which is what I do if I ever write something).

Answer 3

I am the same way! I don't know how old you are but I am 30 and very happily married. Once you find someone that you will spend your life with, they will fill that void. I still have trouble talking about stuff with him sometimes but that is human nature to keep some things to yourself. As for the friends thing, I have a few gal pals I go out with every now and then but I don't put alot of emotion into it anymore. It isn't worth the pain.

Answer 4

There is nothing wrong with not trusting sometimes you have to be that way in order for you not to get hurt.
Its good that you keep a journal because that helps a lot and dont worry about not sharing with anyone else your feelings because whenever you feel safe with someone thats when you'll do it.

Answer 5

Feelings and thoughts are different, but also are one and the same. They are like the head and tail of a coin. We react to events with both thoughts and feelings. Feelings are emotions, and sensations, and they are different from thoughts, beliefs, interpretations, and convictions. When difficult feelings are expressed, the sharp edges are dulled, and it is easier to release or let go of the bad feeling. If we only express our beliefs about the event and not the feelings, the bad feelings linger and are often harder to release. Whenever someone says, "I feel that..." the person is about to express a belief, not a feeling.

Try to be specific rather than general about how you feel. Consistently using only one or two words to say how you are feeling, such as bad or upset, is too vague and general. What kind of bad or upset? (irritated, mad, anxious, afraid, sad, hurt, lonely, etc.).

Specify the degree of the feelings, and you will reduce the chances of being misunderstood. For example, some people may think when you say, "I am angry" means you are extremely angry when you actually mean a "little irritated".

When expressing anger or irritation, first describe the specific behavior you don’t like, then your feelings. This helps to prevent the other person from becoming immediately defensive or intimidated when they first hear "I am angry with you", and they could miss the message.

If you have mixed feelings, say so, and express each feeling and explain what each feeling is about. For example: "I have mixed feelings about what you just did. I am glad and thankful that you helped me, but I didn’t like the comment about being stupid. It was disrespectful and unnecessary and I found it irritating".

The two following - I feel statements and I messages will help you:

Express feelings productively.
Respectfully confront someone when you are bothered by his or her behavior.

Express difficult feelings without attacking the self-esteem of the person.

Clarify for you and the other person precisely what you feel.
Prevent feelings from building up and festering into a bigger problem.

Communicate difficult feelings in a manner that minimizes the other person’s need to become defensive, and increases the likelihood that the person will listen.

When you first start using these techniques they will be cumbersome and awkward to apply, and not very useful if you only know them as techniques. However, if you practice these techniques and turn them into skills, it will be easy for you to express difficult feelings in a manner that is productive and respectful.

Which of the two methods you use for expressing your feelings should depend on your goal, the importance or difficulty of your feelings and the situation.

I feel statements are used in situations that are clear and fairly simple, when you what to express yourself and avoid a buildup of feelings without attacking or hurting the self-esteem of the other.
I messages are used in more complex situations to clarify for yourself and the other person just what you are feeling when a) you have difficult negative feelings, b) you confront someone and want them to change their behavior, and c) it is very sensitive and important that the other person accurately understand.
I Feel Statements

These statements take the form of "When you did that thing I felt this way. That thing is a behavior of the other person, and this way is your specific feelings. Here are some examples:

"I felt embarrassed when you told our friends how we are pinching pennies."
"I liked it when you helped with the dishes without being asked."
"I feel hurt and am disappointed that you forgot our anniversary".

It is called an I message because the focus is on you, and the message is about yourself. This is in contrast to a You message which focuses on and gives a message about the other person. When using I messages you take responsibility for your own feelings, rather than accusing the other person of making you feel a certain way. A You message does not communicate a feeling, but a belief about the other person. The essence of an I message is "I have a problem", while the essence of a You message is "You have a problem".

There are four parts to an I message:

When ... Describe the person’s behavior you are reacting to in an objective, non-blameful, and non-judgmental manner.
The effects are ... Describe the concrete or tangible effects of that behavior. (This is the most important part for the other person to understand - your reaction.)
I feel ... Say how you feel. (This is the most important part to prevent a buildup of feelings.)
I’d prefer ... Tell the person what you want or what you prefer they do. You can omit this part if it is obvious.
The order in which you express these parts is usually not important. Here are some examples:

" When you take company time for your personal affairs and then don’t have time to finish the urgent work I give you, I get furious. I want you to finish the company’s work before you work on your personal affairs."
"I lose my concentration when you come in to ask a question, and I don’t like it. Please don’t interrupt me when I am working unless it is urgent."
"It is very hard for me to keep our place neat and clean when you leave your clothes and other stuff laying around. It creates a lot more work for me and it takes a lot longer, and I get resentful about it. I’d prefer that you put your clothes away and put your trash in the basket."
"I resent it when your flirting with the women keeps you from having time for your work, because it means more work for me."

Common Mistakes

Not expressing a feeling at all, expressing a belief or judgment.
Sending a disguised You message.
Only expressing negative feelings.
The nonverbal body language contradicting the words. For example, smiling when irritated.

Practice these techniques and turn them into useful skills. Make it easy for yourself to spontaneously express difficult feelings in a manner that is productive and respectful

Answer 6

It certainly is not wrong to keep a journal and to express your true feelings there.... but if you find yourself repeatedly retreating from relationships or people, if you are afraid of sharing your real feelings with someone who you wish you could share with, then maybe you need to do a little more examination of the situation.

as you admit, you don't trust people and some people have hurt you... are there some unresolved issues there? anger? unforgiveness? fear of more rejection?

can i say just simply that God can help you. Sounds trite, but God can become a closest friend, a wise counsellor, and a strong support.....

As we learn to trust in His ability, we find that we can be free from guilt, fear, anger, etc. We learn to forgive, we learn to love....

I have kept a journal for years and years, expressing things that are very personal and private.... and lots of entries are about how God has helped me or how God has encouraged me, etc...

God bless!! Please email if you like....

Answer 7

I have always felt that you were sensitive, but I didn't know why because you never talked to me about it. I thought we were friends and then something happened and you left me wondering what I did. If you would have only talked with me about whatever hurt you, then we could talk about it and gain understanding together. That's the friend I was looking for, someone who would give me a chance despite my failings.

I can learn, but you have to give me a chance to see what I did wrong. I still care about you and wish you were around. You are pretty cool, even if you are a dork.

Your inspiration, your friend,
Joe

Answer 8

Perhaps making friends with people you can express your feelings to without them being able to "let you down", like on the internet for example. That way, you get to let out all your anger without the potential risk of being betrayed.

Answer 9

Well do you feel that its bad? If so then consider talking to someone about it, and if that doesnt appeal to you then it cant be all that bad and you feel comfortable with writing down your feelings.

There is nothing wrong with keeping things bottled up, and equally nothing wrong with talking about them. If you feel you want to talk to someone about something, then you should :)

Answer 10

you should be open to people and if they still like u after they hear ur problm you have a tru frend
about keeping feelings bottled up u should show an adult* a book of issues like ur diary but in a difrnt notbook
*an adult that you trust (i.e. ur mom, pastor@church, teacher, etc.)