Please Help: How to I cease my burning jealousy?

Question

Here's the story,

I have a group of friends and we all have an edge. One of them is the smartest, one is the funniest, one is the sportiest, one is the most popular, and I used to be supposedly the "hottest"...

In the last few months I have gained some weight, and my "smartest" friend has become the "hottest". So now she's two things, she's all grown up into a beautiful woman and guys are really noticing!

I feel as if I have lost my edge. I know it is a very "superficial" edge, but atleast it was something!!! Now I'm feeling mad towards my new hot friend for no good reason at all, and I am starting to act like the type of person I hate, the jealous type.

I'm too embarrassed to ask my friends about this problem, I don't want them to know. They think I am really confident.

How I stop this burning jealousy?? I know the its what is on the inside that counts, but that doesn't bring me any comfort...

Please help, and thanks for reading this far!!

Thanks for your help, guys, you all have great answers. I think I will take them into great consideration. An untainted, unbiased perception is always best for situations like these.

Answer 1

First thing try opening yourself to meeting new people......It sounds like UR stuck in the past.....The person you used to be was hot and according to you.....that person no longer is you. Now you have two choices......climb that mountain you have already created in your mind and lose the weight.....and fight to be the person you used to be...."the past" Or look in the mirror and ask yourself why have you relied so much on your looks to keep your stock price high. (the present) and maybe you will see there is more to you than just your looks... After dealing with a helluva lot of crappy situations in my life I have realized that the greatest things that happen to us always come wrapped in the crappiest of packages. Its up to us to not judge the lesson by the package and understand that Change is the most human and natural thing out there....Physical change, mental change, emotional change..one can fight it or accept it and embrace it as a friend you feel a bond with but just met......If we didn't accept it we would remain at the same place as "our best year" for most ppl its in high school or college....look at the 80's.....why do you think so many ppl are stuck in the 80's......(all around the same age(35-50) because they long for that time again......it was their best year so they still listen to Journey, and Bon Jovi because they miss that time when they were cool. Instead now they have sacrificed the philospohies they once held so high (which was having fun) to reminice and become old and not fun anymore because they are so focused on the burdens and responsibilities of preparing for retirement. Some of the coolest affluent old people I have met never really spent more time on preparing for retirement than most people do on paying theit bills for the month

Try Subscribing to a new school of thought.....The best years have yet to come......look forward to learning and understanding more about this human experience and you will forget those feelings of Jealously ever existed. I'm sure you are still Hot but as a Hot Guy I have learned the Hottest Women are the ones that have the looks and the understanding ....They don't judge themselves or others.....Give it a try......and U will watch your stock price rise with Hotter Guys being attracted to you that are the total package as well.....not the same old cookie cutter guys you have met 100 times before that will probably become just like their Dad's.....Good luck and don't be so hard on yourself

Answer 2

Take it as an opportunity to discover what makes you worthwhile to be around. You are less distracted by the less important things. This could take you one step further to be more complete. I know this sounds corny, but it's never good to be too concerned about what others think of you. There is one thing you need to know about the others - THEY have insecurities. If you have the courage to reveal yours, they my find the same courage, and in the end you could help make each other feel more secure. You must be prepared for disappointments, though - not everyone will respond the way you would like them to.

Answer 3

I was in a similar situation but u have to think of it like this u r still the same person u were before i'm pretty sure u'r still hot. And ur friend she was probably very jealous of u and prolly still is congratulate her on how good she looks now and b happy for her and if u still have doubts exercise it'll make u feel a lot better

Answer 4

i think "hottest" would be in the eye of the beholder. I am not sure about the other things you mention, smartest, funniest, most popular, etc. i really do not see the point in all that. enjoy your friends, enjoy your life and just get over it. this is not a dress rehearsal and it is too short for the rest.

Answer 5

First, your values are focused on some really shallow stuff. There's a great deal more to you and your friends then what you've listed.

Try being a complete human-being. Examine yourself, empathise with others, educate yourself, seek understanding, practise being grateful and look hard at what you have to be grateful for. Make a difference in the lives of others... make a difference for having been here.

If you compare yourself to others, you'll never be happy, and you'll never grow up.

Answer 6

Well I understand where you are coming from, however, you're friend did nothing wrong, you say you have gained weight so only you can change that, im sure you are still hot, and its normal to feel jealous, but i would really try to detach yourself from the situation and ask what you can do to fix it...and if thats loosing a few pounds, im sure you can do it! good luck!! and cheer up!!

Answer 7

Stay away from flames.