I've been with my first girlfriend for almost four months, and its been the best time of my life. She makes me really happy and she lights up my world. I do everything I can to make her happy, and she's never been really upset with me.
Lately, though, we both got jobs at different places and we both go to college, which is out in about a week. She lives about 30 minutes away from me. I know its been tough, but I finally realized that it was life and just because we don't see each other every day doesn't mean we aren't together. I finally got over the pain of not seeing her a whole lot, but it sounds like she's losing interest in me.
My friend said that she was hinting that she had too much to do, and that as much as she wanted to, she didn't want to keep me. I don't understand. I'll be damned if I lose her, just because of work and stuff. I know I can make it work, but I'm afraid of her dumping me just because. What can I say to help convince her that it can work?
2006-11-29 03:33:27 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
The best advice I could give you is for you to talk to your girlfriend and find out how she feels. Your friends all mean well, but they can't read your girlfriend's mind. Once you see how she feels, you'll know what you need to do next. Good luck!
2006-11-29 03:41:33 · answer #1 · answered by tannedknight45 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Long distance relationships are hard. If you guys have only been dating for like 3 or 4 months, it's likely that she's not that emotionally attached to you yet, especially since she lives half an hour away and you don't get to see each other much. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but if she seems to be losing interest in you, she probably already has. I would just go on about my business and just let her go. When women make their mind up
(especially their opinion of someone they've been dating) it's made up... it's unlikely that you can recover. Good luck, though, and I hope you can prove me wrong!!
2006-11-29 11:40:23 · answer #2 · answered by KC 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A half hour away is nothing. That's like a commute to work that people do every day. I wouldn't start smothering her because she sounds like she's already feeling burdened with a lot of stuff. Maybe you should talk with her about staying connected but open to new things. You haven't been together long and commiting to something that she's not sure about is probably not of interest to her. But if she likes you and you don't want to lose her than let her go do her thing on her terms and it might work out. You may not be "BF & GF" in the way one might tyically see a BF &GF relationship but there are all kinds of ways to stay connected to someone without being posessive about them. Like say you weren't BF & GF but made the commitment to go out with eachother once a week. No pressure, no expectation, just you and her being together.
2006-11-29 12:14:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What good is a woman who puts relationships last? Today, she is abandoning you because it is too much of a hassle to drive on over to your place (which is total bullshit as 30 minutes is nothing). Tomorrow, she is neglecting your children so that she can be off doing something stupid and then abandoning you without a single care for the well being of either you or your children.
Women like this are firmly in the, "just a piece of ***" category and need to be treated as such. Simply ignore the situation. As she sees you less and less, you should be seeing other girls more and more. If you find a girl who is good for a relationship, you should dump this one without explanation (she does not need, desire, nor deserve one). When she eventually comes to you and says she doesn't want to be your girlfriend anymore but still wants to be friends, you should shrug and explain to her that you are too busy dating other girls for that.
There are a number of important things for you to learn from this experience. The most important is that few girls are relationship material. However, that does not mean you don't have fun with them. What it does mean is that monogamy is inappropriate for them. You should date many women. Most of these will not be monogamy material. Most of them know this. Your status with them goes up (not down) when you explain to them that they are not your girlfriend (or rather she is not your exclusive girlfriend). These relationships are disposable. They last a few weeks or months, fade out, come back later for awhile and then disappear. The quality of the woman is the source of this so there is nothing you can do about it. It is NOT A BIG DEAL when they dissolve. Don't get hung up on this and definitely don't chase after them. It won't work and it will cause you to feel bad. You are ignorant about what you mean to her and therefore making her mean something to you that is simply not appropriate.
Instead, monogamy is earned. It is earned by the woman being a good partner. A woman who shows you through her behavior that she truly cares about you and puts you and your relationship first, is earning monogamy. These girls KNOW about this issue and aren't shy about telling you. Other girls are scum, she is not. If you treat her like other girls, she will kick you in the balls. Expect to hear early and often, how she is in it for the long term. Expect her to be highly manipulative in a manner that winds up with her living with you. Expect her to talk alot about marrying you and having your kids. Understand what you are getting yourself into because sometimes, delaying these things until the appropriate time is like riding a wild, bucking bronco. The more of an alpha female the girl is, the more wild the ride.
2006-11-29 11:55:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
wow, very deep lol. okay well for starters after work and what not you should take that 30 minute trip to go see her, even though i know you'll be exhausted. you must not show that oh "you've had a long day", you must show her like yea today was good but now its great that im with you. you have to show her alot of affection and show her that all your time is for her. so basically after your long day, its time to please your girl and what ever you do do not make her see you looking down because that just going to make her want to break up with you sooner!
2006-11-29 11:42:29 · answer #5 · answered by ANNA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello -- You should call her up and make a date to go to
her favorite restaurant.I would get flowers for her. I would talk it over with her and tell her just how you feel about
her. She might not know. So good luck!
2006-11-29 11:43:15 · answer #6 · answered by ARRIVE ALIVE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just fight for her, but there are just somethings left alone, but if you really believe she is the one. then do anything to have her
2006-11-29 11:39:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋