We are in a small town, kinda' new, and my son is 12yr. The other parents here say the kid he hangs out with I shouldn't let him see, it's his best friend, and I haven't caught them doing anything, I get scared my mom and my best friend will find out I let them play together and get lectured, If I feel my son is safe, isn't it my decision that counts? Why do I even give a **** what they think?
2006-11-29 03:19:24 · 11 answers · asked by tamilynn 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
true. you are the parent .they are probably just being nosy.
2006-11-29 03:22:09 · answer #1 · answered by Sxoxo 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What is so bad about the kid that you should not let your kid hang out with him? Are the things they say true or just rumors? I moved to a small town when I was in the 8th grade and was there for 3 years...I hated it! I had the worst rep and was supposedly sleeping with a bunch of the guys and doing drugs, etc... I wasn't doing any of those things. I was so glad when we moved back to the city where everyone seen me as the real kid that I was.
Perhaps if this kid is a "bad" kid you and your son can have a positive influence on him and his life.
2006-11-29 11:29:30 · answer #2 · answered by Angie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My opinion is your son is 12....So you are probably no spring chicken either (sorry)..Not sure why you would care who knew what you and your son were doing or who you or your son were hanging out with....Perhaps this child has been labeled (because of the small town thing) and maybe, just maybe you and your son are a GREAT influence for that child?...Maybe just the fact that you and your son are "giving him a chance" will make him be a better person....And just maybe your son will learn things from him too and be grateful for the way he is and the life he has?...And if you choose to tell your 12 year old who he can and can't be friends with he WILL rebel against you and want to hang out with him even more!...Nobody elses business...I am sure you have raised a child who is perfectly able to choose his friends!...So let him and forget who else cares!..It is quite frankly NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS!!...Hang in there....
2006-11-29 11:30:24 · answer #3 · answered by Littlebit 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mam, I would tread very carefully here. Usually where there is smoke, there is fire. Why would you RISK your childs best interests to make a point to others that you aren't paying attention? Your child doesn't need you to be his friend, he needs you to be his parent, wich means making some hard decisions sometimes. I would pay close ATTENTION to this child that others have already cautioned you about, speak to him about what has been told to you, pay careful attention to his answers. Is he hesitant, look at the floor or to the side (a sign of lying). Scared of your Mom and your best friend knowing what you are doing suggests you know far more than you are telling. If their disapproval or approval is more important than your sons welfare, then you are ill equiped to be an effective parent, but if its just you don't want to be second guessed when wiser heads are trying to help you, then you are in for some bumpy roads ahead. Please, pay attention to your sons friends, they can be the ruination of many a good kid, don't let your son be one of them. Good luck my dear!
2006-11-29 13:45:18 · answer #4 · answered by Tippy's Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While it's true that you are the ultimate decision maker, with it being such a small town, the people there who have had to deal with the best friend/bad influence probably know something you don't. Try asking the next person who brings it up to you to elaborate. Then you'll have a better chance of making a more informed decision.
2006-11-29 11:23:24 · answer #5 · answered by dorky_goddess 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sort of listen to what other parents are saying but develop your own decision. Meet with the other kid's parents and find out what he's really like.
My son, and daughter-in-law, alway meet the parents of their girl's friends before they let them 'hang out' together. Meeting the parents tells you a lot of how they raised their kid(s) and if you have anything to worry about or not.
2006-11-29 13:42:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok first of all listen to the opions of other people but dont let it make your mind up for you let your son play with the other kids and then if they get in to trouble talk to your son about things he 12yrs old its time for him to understand if he mess up or get caught doing something with his friend thats bad hes in for it but in the end your his mother do what you think is best
2006-11-29 13:00:45 · answer #7 · answered by Angel of Death 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is YOUR son...you need to do what YOU think is best for him. If you trust him and have no reason to tell him he can't hang out with this friend then wait and see what happens. If he starts acting out and doing things he normally wouldn't do then talk to him about the friend and see what's going on. If this friend does turn out to be a bad influence then put your foot down.
Good luck!!
2006-11-29 11:23:50 · answer #8 · answered by Jacob's Mommy (Plus One) 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The parents are giving you a heads up and I dont think that they are doing it to make your childs life miserable. Also if you are already hidding it from your family then deep down inside you suspect something also.
2006-11-29 11:23:37 · answer #9 · answered by fyrechick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your right about that i ran around with to girls that were trouble i was the one keeping them out of trouble when they quit school i couldn't get any one to talk to i was alone in school the last two years beasue of there actions
2006-11-29 11:46:47 · answer #10 · answered by A Yellow Rose 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are his parent. If you feel unsure, have them spend time together in your presence.
2006-11-29 11:24:37 · answer #11 · answered by kris 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋