this might sound a little crazy... i dunno? anyways, my husband and i have been married a yr and 1/2... we have a 9mo son together... he was in iraq for 12 months of our marriage... i guess he thinks our relationship is fine b/c he doesn't think we have any problems... i know we do b/c i can feel the heartache and pain he's causing me... i don't even want to have sex with him anymore... i don't want to kiss him... i don't even want him touching me... he's selfish when it comes to sex... and he doesn't put in any effort to learn how to please me... he doens't know how to control his temper (he's not physically violent.. just verbally)... and here latley, he's been lying to me about silly stuff... makes me wonder what other things he's lied to me about? he masterbates EVERY morning regardless if i give him sex or not... and he does it in the living room on the couch... to these stupid mtv and vh1 videos... can we say, CHILDISH???? omg... i'm sick and tired of this... what should i do?
2006-11-29 02:39:51 · 21 answers · asked by brandiamour 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am usually whole heartedly against a divorce when a child in involved, but if he doesn't want to go to counseling and try to turn things around, then divorce him.
2006-11-29 02:49:00 · answer #1 · answered by Jon O 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is having a hard time adjusting to civilian life. If you truly love him and want to start your life with him over again, go to a marriage counselor. He is having a hard time reconnecting to you and you to him, and still has the habits he did when he was in Iraq. And you may have developed your own patterns at home without him. A year is a long time, especially in a foreign place. As a military wife, you should have prepared yourself for how he was going to act when he got home. Not that his actions are excusable, but support him. And later on, if you find that you two are not compatible anymore, then you can do whatever you see fit. If my hubby went to Iraq, I would expect changes, but I would try my hardest to help him and our marriage. Good luck! :)
2006-11-29 02:52:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could he be having an affair? Has his moods changed or has he always been that way? Ask yourself those questions and if you suspect it then confront him, if you still aren't convinced start snooping around.
The masturbation thing sounds like he is just trying to irritate you and convince you that if you don't please him then he will just do it himself. Since he is not concerned about whether you see him do this, then I would think he is just trying to get your attention.
I think it would be to soon to jump to a decision of divorce. Try counseling and make your decision from there. The separation was hard on the both of you, and you need time to get to know each other again, but it sounds like communication has broken down. Seriously, get some counseling!
2006-11-29 02:48:13 · answer #3 · answered by stacey h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would try something before jumping to divorce. You have a baby to consider. Try counseling. I mean a good notable counselor. Try reading books that may help. The Five Love Languages, I grantee this book can change yours and ur hubbys life if you both read it and act out what you read. His Needs Her Needs is another good book you should read together. If you dont give him sex he will look for it elsewhere, just keep that in mind. You should not stand for the abuse. You need to talk to him, let him know things are not ok.
2006-11-29 02:50:45 · answer #4 · answered by Abby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow.. I would give him a few ultimatums in the masturbating on the couch thing. I mean if he wants to do it fine. But not on the couch. Tell him to go do it in the shower! Verbally violent is still abuse. As for not wanting him even to touch you right there is a huge factor. Have you tried counseling if he isn't up for it then you need to do some soul searching and figure out if you want more for your life or not.
2006-11-29 02:44:14 · answer #5 · answered by Issym76 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1st of all - your relationship has really only been 6 months......time away in the military is hard - and he's been without you most of this time. I think you need to sit and talk about this. Is divorcing really what you want? Probably not - he's your husband and if you love him - talk with him about it. MAke it a good time for both of you - think about what you want to say and don't lay everything on the table at once. Start with what's most important to you and discuss it with one another. Try that first - marriage is hard work - for a lifetime. Don't just give up without a fair fight first!
2006-11-29 02:45:42 · answer #6 · answered by Amy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A little crazy??? No... that is C-R-A-Z-Y!!! I can't believe he masterbates every morning to MTV and VH1 videos! Next thing you know, he'll be masterbating while watching Nickelodeon! Yeah.. .you should divorce him. You don't love him so why stay with him? You are just going to be more miserable by staying with him. Leave now before it's too late.
2006-11-29 02:46:52 · answer #7 · answered by ~dat~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not an advocate of divorce but it sounds like your marriage is definately not built on love, honesty, trust or respect. I would not put up with his negative behaviors. I realize that you have a child but do you want your child to grow up and see this behavior and to think that because you endure it that it is acceptible and that it is normal? Please think long and hard about staying...the longer you stay the harder it will get to get out. You deserve so much more than this man is giving you and you and your child deserve happiness not the dismal situation you are currently in. I wish you luck.
2006-11-29 02:47:10 · answer #8 · answered by Stacy H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A freedom or a top is a state granted permission to do something interior of a particular means that they later set with courtroom cases. it really is a joke. All of politics is a joke. Telling someone they're allowed to be loose isn't actual freedom and is even worse being a complete perversion of what a top or freedom truly is.
2016-10-07 23:07:29 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the newspaper business they would say "you buried the lead". You should have said first the bit about jerkin' off on the couch. That's enough. Sounds like a totally self-centered guy who can't bond with anyone outside of himself.
Was there ever a true union? Doesn't sound like it.
Divorce him.
.
2006-11-29 03:18:31 · answer #10 · answered by robabard 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋