should i marry him?

Question

I'm engaged to be married. The deposits paid anmd the date is set for next august. I moved out for a bit as he seems to get really angry and nasty after a drink. this has stopped though and i've moved back in but feel like something has changed, think it will come back to what it was like before but not sure. Things are good but the trhought of him doesn't excite me. is this normal after being with someone for a while or should that gooey exciting feeling last forever??

Answer 1

Okay, first let me say that the gooey exciting feeling doesn't always last forever and that doesn't mean you should not get married. Being comfortable with a spouse and being best friends is just as wonderful.

Now, here's my thinking about your question. If you are having these thoughts and asking around, the answer is NO. You shouldn't marry someone when there are ANY doubts...no matter what the reasons are for the doubts. You should be feeling INCREDIBLY, OVERLY excited to marry someone! I know it can be hard in the moment, but think of the future - do you want to possibly go through a divorce...maybe even with children or a child involved? It isn't worth taking such a big step when you are unsure about the decision.

I would say that the fact that you are unsure in itself gives you your answer. No.

I hope this helps and best of luck to you in making your decision. :o)

Answer 2

no. mean drunks don't change without help. Even if a person only drinks once a year and then is only mean that once a year it's too much. it sounds like your feelings are trying to tell you something and you should listen.

However, no, the gooey feeling doesn't last forever. one morning you usually wake up, look at your significant other and just want them to just disappear. (that's the first flush of romance settling into the fine wine stage). But usually it passes and you move onto the next wonderful stage of the relationship. However, this only works when the person is wonderful and loving, caring, etc. And it usually happens after you've been in the relationship for a while.

Answer 3

Well, ultimately, the decision is yours....but I think that "gooey, exciting feeling" should always be there whether it's been 4 years or 40! My stomach still does a little flip when I look at my husband (we've been together for 5 years), and just recently (at Thanksgiving), my grandparents (married for 48 years) were kissing and hugging....they are still (if not more) in love after all these years. I wish you luck with whatever you decide!

Answer 4

I dont know if I would marry him. How long have you been with him? Not a good sign that the fireworks are already gone. You are just setting yourself up for what could be a messy divorce down the road. I think you need to be 100% sure about a marriage. God knows with how hard life can be you will have that positive 100 drop. Life can add up on you real fast and I just dont think it is wise to marry someone because the deposit is paid.

Answer 5

Hello,

My suggestion is that you do not marry him, as I'm sure most people on here are going to tell you. If you are finding the little things that he does to be annoying and you are turned off by the thought of having to be with him than by all means...do not marry him. This does not pass...things do not get better after the ceremony. If anything they will get worse, much worse. I should have not married the man that I married to now, He is a good man for the most part but the problems that we had in the beginning are still with us and have doubled. I think that this is true for most couples that have rocky starts.Especially if he has a problem with controlling his temper when he drinks....this can get bad, very bad. Be smart and get out now....Good Luck

Answer 6

If you feel like this now, think of how you will feel in 5, 10 or 20 years from now if the marriage makes it that far. Dont feel obligated because you have paid out and dates have been set. If this is not what you truly want then I say run! Dont do something just because your so far in you cant see a way out. There is always a way out. You should never settle. Make sure you are 100% happy and satisfied!

Answer 7

I personally find drinking not a problem if it's not excessive or very frequent. It's ok for a guy to drink once a while, maybe once a week BUT without getting drunk violent of course. He gotta be sober enough to still maintain his nice self. I personally drink once a week limiting myself to the right number of bottles I can healthily hold. I always drink with my wife around or at home to enable her to have a peace of mind that I wanted her as part of my life. I bring her wherever I go, never leave her at home.
If your guy is the drunk kind, you need to talk to him nicely to get it resolved. There may be some problems leading to the habit...maybe, honest, he is also facing the same problem with you...having second thought of the marriage but decided to keep mum since so many had been done and paid for...have a good talk...

Answer 8

It looks like you have your answer already. Marriage is and can be a spiritual joining of two people that love and respect each other. It should be looked at as an opportunity to better yourself and the other person through your union. If you have any doubts about your future with your fiance, you should reconsider the marriage. It seems like you guys aren't positively influencing each other. I would take some time to evaluate the relationship and determine if being with your fiance will enlighten you in anyway and if a marriage between the two of you will be truly fulfilling.

Answer 9

If you have any doubt, don't do it. However, after awhile, the gooey feeling does go away. You have to WORK at it. The Beatles were wrong when they said "All you need is love". You really need love, commitment and lots of hard work to make a marriage last. If you have doubts about any of those three factors, then don't go through with it.

Answer 10

i replaced into engaged whilst i replaced into 24 and married whilst i replaced into 26 Our wedding ceremony colours have been a diminished peach and chocolate brown We each had our brothers as witnesses (2 entire), it replaced right into a very small wedding ceremony (14 human beings have been there which incorporate us and our reverend) Our reception replaced into held a month after our wedding ceremony, and we did no longer have assigned seating, maximum folk did no longer take a seat, it replaced right into a dinner occasion We had a small chocolate cake and then a sort of cakes for individuals to choose, i think of there have been 5 different selections We went to Maui for 2 weeks We have been given married in Gleneden sea coast, OR, a tiny city on the coast, only outdoors of Lincoln city