I am a happily married woman with a not so clean past. Thought I have always been faithful to my husband I did some stuff before we got to together that i'm not really proud of. Well to make a long story short..... My past is comming back to bite me in the ***. I bumped into an ex while Christams Shopping last weekend, Now he won't go away. He is stuck on revenge. He wants to ruin my marriage just like I ruined his. He has showed up at my job twice this week. He has contacted my sister about where my husband works. How can I get rid of him without letting my husband know all the details. HELP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-11-29 01:58:48 · 18 answers · asked by DEBBY'S BABY 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I didn't tell him where I worked I still work at the same place I worked at then. And it's not that I dont want to tell my husband I just didn't want to give him all the dirty details.
2006-11-29 02:41:46 · update #1
I can think of two things. One is to call your local state's attorney's office and ask if your state has a "Stalking" law, or look it up online ("Stalking Laws in (state)"). You might be able to complain to the police about that man's behavior and scare him off. You will need his address, probably, or his car tags so that the police can try to track him down if they need to.
I also don't think you need to give all the dirty details to your husband. But you can tell him generally about the ex, how you ran into him again, and that he's harassing you because you're married and refuse to see him any more. Your husband should be able to accept that.
2006-11-29 02:15:15 · answer #1 · answered by AnOrdinaryGuy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you won't be able to have this man go away not all the investigating where you work now your sister. he's on a mission. Well you said all this happpened before you were married. So i would sit your husband down and let him know whats happening tell him how you met this man accidently and how he's out to ruin your marriage and you wanted your husband to know the facts first. You know if you don't and he starts to hear things whether there true or false or just rumors he will start to doubt you and infact worry what kind of woman he married. So be thruthful with him.
And get a restraining order on this nut following you around. He is trying to ruin your marriage as you say. But if you beat him to the punch and let him know your hsubands up to speed this other guy plan will fall through. hes' doing this to hurt you back for what you did to him.
2006-11-29 10:06:20 · answer #2 · answered by For ever in my Heart 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must tell your husband and get his support. Expect him not to enjoy hearing about the past but he should appreciate that your present and future are with him. Make a full disclosure to him and ask him to go with you to the police dept. and to support you while you make a report. Then go to the courthouse and try to start the ball rolling with a restraining order. Your X will only have the power that you give him. Talking to your husband will remove that tool from him and the restraining order will be on record and he will either back off or you will have grounds to have him imprisoned. Try to file harassment charges. Remember that whatever you did with him was in the past so it doesn't matter. What matters is how you are living your life now.
2006-11-29 10:53:44 · answer #3 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your husband the whole truth. Then your husband will take care of the ex for you. No man likes an ex trying to ruin his marriage.
2006-11-29 10:16:16 · answer #4 · answered by jeffs66062 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firsty, i think that you should tell your husband the truth,
Then slap this guy in the face with a restraining order. But you gotta tell your husband first so that things dont go out of control behind his back. He deserves to know that someone is after his Woman. Trust me, if he knows, it will make things alot easier and this will definately Hold your marriage together even if men like him are out to destroy you.
2006-11-29 10:07:31 · answer #5 · answered by Iriskent 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is always best to tell your husband about it. If you explain everything, he'll probably understand. You said it was before the two of you got together, so what is there to worry about? You never cheated on him. You should talk to your husband about it and then the two of you can get through this together. Good Luck!
2006-11-29 10:03:23 · answer #6 · answered by hope_a_long52886 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, tell your husband. Your marriage won't survive when you keep things hidden. Your ex will also not have anything to hold over you if your husband knows what's going on. It may be difficult to tell these things to your husband, but if he knows about your past then your ex has no ammo to use against you.
2006-11-29 10:04:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have seen situations like this a lot and the only sure way to make it go away is for you to tell your husband and not let him hear it from anybody else. I know thats not what you want to hear but its the truth
2006-11-29 12:23:40 · answer #8 · answered by mom of 2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, tell your husband, but what I want to know is why you told your ex where you work and other personal info? If you didn't want him around you should have kept things short and sweet and then be on your merry way. And I believe in karma, so maybe this is yours?
2006-11-29 10:16:52 · answer #9 · answered by mystic_red_06 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your husband and let him know about this guy and what you did. Since it happened BEFORE you got together, he should be understanding and supportive. If he shows up at your workplace again, have security throw him out.
2006-11-29 10:02:35 · answer #10 · answered by tipper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋