I love my husband but sometimes I want to have sex with him and sometimes I don't. It's like when I come home from work I want to have sex with him but then he does something that bothers me and it slowly dims...The sad part about it is that what he does is so small that it shouldn't have a part in whether we're going to have sex or not. Its like he almost aggravates me to the point where I don't want him to touch me...Is there something wrong with me? Or am I just be selfish with husband?
2006-11-29 01:48:18 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Some days I happy to be married to him and others are just like DAMN why did I do this. But the sex is so good...He's 5'8 and hung maybe I'm just tripping
2006-11-29 01:55:59 · update #1
it looks like ur only problem is that ur "moody", so when ur mood is effected by the slightest thing, it turns u off sexually as well. make sure u let him know that so he understands that ur not simply rejecting him but it's only a mood thing. I wont tell u try to control ur mood, cos thats easy to say but tough to do. Ok so since ur mood can flip so easily and quickly, try to find something that always works to put u in a better..so when u flip..use that thing to flip back :) and don worry ur a good person,but a moody one
2006-11-29 02:00:18 · answer #1 · answered by GucciRush 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Its embarrassing to admit this but i'm kind of the same way. It will be something so small that can get me in the mood you are talking about. it usually doesn't take long to get over what ever it was that bothered me but the best thing i can tell you is to not force yourself to get over it. Don't make yourself have sex if you aren't feeling it. My husband can tell when i'm not in to as much as usually am and it's not a good thing. I'll try something like vacuuming or play with the dog and then i'm good to go. If this happens more often than not though then maybe something else is wrong, otherwise I would just say we are typical moody women :)
2006-11-29 09:55:57 · answer #2 · answered by Chrissy 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
This is a good honest question. It is so easy to get a woman out of the mood for sex. Much easier than the other way around isn't it? This is generally the opposite for men. If you are allowing little things to get in the way of a happy life then you need to change that.
2006-11-29 12:17:38 · answer #3 · answered by onlineseeker 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing wrong with you. "Sex" for women starts in our brain, men are wired differently. For most women to be "in the mood", a lot of outside "factors" have to be working and in place.
For example, if you and your husband are arguing for two days, of course you aren't going to want to "jump into bed" with him. Just because you don't always feel like having sex with your husband doesn't mean you don't love him. Your feelings seem perfectly natural to me.
Working outside the home can be very stressful, try to find a way to "unwind" before you get home. Then, after you get home, take a few minutes for yourself, try taking a nice warm bath. Ask your husband for a back rub.
There's nothing wrong with you that a little rest and relaxation won't cure! Best of luck.
2006-11-29 10:14:09 · answer #4 · answered by Mugsy's Place 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OMG< I know exactly how you feel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I went to the doctor because it was getting way out of hand, for me. So here is the answer.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> It is STRESS!
Relax. Forget about work and all of the people. When you first get home, shower, take a relaxing bath, listen to music you like and if he says something that bothers you just say, you know that really bugs me when you say that. Or if it is something he does tell him. Explain to him that you are working on getting your stress under control so you can have a happier relationship with him. I did everything I am telling you at the recommendation of my doctor and it has made things much, much better.
LOL
2006-11-29 10:00:51 · answer #5 · answered by hummingbird 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think at one point in time, all women feel this way. You are not being selfish. One thing to keep in mind, is to make sure you aren't using the small things to NOT have sex at all. Women think if everything is not perfect then they can't have sex. Men and women have sex for different reasons. Don't be so hard on yourself. Make time for him, and then when you don't feel like having sex, you won't feel so bad. Make sense?
2006-11-29 10:00:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nothing is wrong with you. This is absolutely normal. Sometimes even the smallest things can cause us to be hurt and this affects our feelings towards sex. You are not crazy.
2006-11-29 09:51:45 · answer #7 · answered by Lt 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You not selfish, you n your husband need to work something out. tell him how you feel don't keep stuff to your if you just tell that will make a better marriage you n him
2006-11-29 10:18:06 · answer #8 · answered by LaLa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont know but I'm the same way! Its like I dont want sex unless things are going perfectly.... but I can totally relate to everything you're saying!
2006-11-29 09:52:18 · answer #9 · answered by cartmansmom 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to communicate with each other. Rather than making one of those small things his fault, use an "I" statement.
An example would be, "When I got home I couldn't wait to hold you, I wanted to make love...but when you said "xxxxxx" it made "ME" feel like "xxxxxx". "I" know you didnt' mean to hurt my feelings, but this makes me feel like "I" don't matter.
Or something like that when the situations arise.
Make what you are feeling "your fault" and commincate that to him. Additionally you need to communicate to him its ok for him to tell you when you do something that turns him off.
This all boils down to learning, practicing, and using good and new communication tools.
2006-11-29 09:57:14 · answer #10 · answered by OleMarbleEyes 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋