You can read back on my previous questions if you would like. My question is simple. They have been seperated for 1 1/2 years but he just hasn't got the divorce yet. They were seperated before we met. He is getting the divorce when taxes come back. Now their 11 year old daughter is having problems with all of this because the mom is putting stuff in her head. The mom wants my boyfriend to come to their house to discuss things just the three of them. I am worried. He says he will never go back to her because their are so many things that had happened between them but she wants him back, she told him she didn't want to get divorced. I am scared she will presuade him into something when he visits with them. Maybe not go back to her but I don't know if he will feel sorry for her and his daughter, perhaps hug, kiss or console her (the mom) Tell me am I being paranoid or what? Thanks.
2006-11-29 00:58:34 · 15 answers · asked by Amber 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you are worried tehn there is a problem trust your intuition
2006-11-29 00:59:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
1
2016-05-08 04:46:56 · answer #2 · answered by Frank 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am going through a similar situation. My BF has been divorce for over a year now and he has 1 child with his ex. He talks to her almost everyday. At first it use to bother me, but over time I came to realize he loves me and I trust him when they are together. You MUST understand that his child will come first. Once you understand that things may get a little easier for you.
The ex will always pull something. His ex did, 3 months before the divorce was final she wanted to get back with him. He said no. Its like a roller coaster, my BF and the ex do really well and then she starts acting up. Its typical behavior of a bitter ex wife. Just know that she is never going away, they have a child together, you have to make the best of it or you will lose out in the end.
2006-11-29 01:09:45 · answer #3 · answered by Tabitha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to have more faith in your relationship. He's ex with all be in his life because they have a daughter together. Him wanting to help his daughter shows what a good dad he is and how he will be if you two ever have children. You have to let him go cause otherwise it looks like you are trying to come between him and his child. Just trust him and have faith in what you have with him. It doesn't matter if she wants him back if he doesn't want to go then he won't. Plus why go back to what he had when he has something better. You are just worried about losing a good thing and there is nothing wrong with that. It is part of loving someone and wanting it to last.
2006-11-29 01:04:44 · answer #4 · answered by sscott12414 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay...you're being paranoid. Actually you have very valid reasons for concern, especially if the almost-ex is still tripping through memory lane. But, since they have a child, there will always be reasons for them to speak to each other, and for him to go over to her house to see his child. Since your bf hasn't done anything to make you distrust him, you'll have to trust him to do the right thing. We can't control everything that happens in other people's lives, and that includes our husband & children too. Things will happen that are out of our hands, taking us for a ride too. I'd say trust him until something happens to break that trust. Keep your eyes open. Until you have that wedding ring on your finger, he's only your boyfriend. Legally, he's still married, even though there are plans to end it. So, just be careful. <*)))><
2006-11-29 01:07:01 · answer #5 · answered by Sandylynn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not really sweetie it is normal to feel a little insecure about the ex especially when kids are involved because alot of people use them as an excuse but he has to have that conversation for his daughter .Don't worry sweetie if you love him and believe him then be supportive but cautious as well woman can do some shady things especially when they want him back.
2006-11-29 01:05:58 · answer #6 · answered by dodgerchik 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi!
Well I"m a divorced man but went through the same thing your boyfriend did. My ex wouldn't let go. She still talks to me today. I always talked to her because of my boys and felt guilty if I didn't. The guilty feelings didn't make me want to go back to her, just made me want it to stop. Eventually it did stop. The issues that seperated us always remained and I never wanted to go back to have all those awful feeling back. I'm sure your BF's ex thinks its all his fault and if just got better it would be OK. YOu BF doesn't agree. I don't think you need to worry.
2006-11-29 01:03:51 · answer #7 · answered by Lazink 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me share a fact with you. When men don't file for divorce, it's NOT because they can't afford it, it's because they don't want to file.
He is NOT your boyfriend. Whether they are living together or not, he is HER HUSBAND. 9 times out of 10 the other woman, which is what you are, ends up being the loser when the couple reconciles. That's why being the other woman is a foolish position to allow yourself to get into.
I would start making alternate plans on what you are going to do when he says goodbye to you.
2006-11-29 01:04:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
there is a saying that goes like this...."you can not control how other people think or what other people do, what you can only control is how you respond to it. Your boyfriend is an adult who can think for himself. If he decides to go back to his family, then respect his decision. If he decides to stay with you, then he was meant for you in the first place.
there is a possibility that the wife may use the kid as a pawn. Let's just hope that he uses his brain and his heart to decide on what to do. Good luck!
2006-11-29 01:17:34 · answer #9 · answered by mrs P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are being completly selfish, the 11 yr old girl is the most important woman in his life, and if he is a real man will always be, you will be dealing with the ex and the daughter forever, she will get married have kids and your boyfriend will be there for those things, and so will his ex. if you are that insecure in his feelings for you , you should find someone else.
2006-11-29 01:04:12 · answer #10 · answered by haileybeth79 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Getting Back With The Ex - http://tinyurl.com/3c6VepUSnp
2015-09-28 16:25:42 · answer #11 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋