My fiance has an ex wife uses their children to get back at him. Need some advice please.?

Question

My fiance's ex-wife is constantly using the kids as an excuse to have him wrapped around her finger. Like, she told him if the kids were to be around me, that he would never see them again. Things like that. And he loves his children very much and so do I. But she can have any guy she dates around them but yet I can't be. That isn't fair. My question is will this ever stop?

Answer 1

why dont they have joint custody? No this will not end untill he gets joint custody. I feel bad for you cause i know you must love this guy and now you cant see him cause then he will not be able to see his kids. That is an awfull spot to be put in . I would hate it . But anyway see if you can get him to go and file for joint custody and then you should be able to see him any time you want. good luck and god bless an dhappy holidays.

Answer 2

I would not take her attacks personally, unless he left her for you or you are some kind of crack fiend that she doesn't want the kids around. She would do this no matter who he is engaged to. Your fiance needs to realize this as well. If he doesn't deal with it now, he will never have a mature relationship with any woman.

He should talk to her about this alone. I emphasize the word "talk" because arguing or provoking her will only make her more determined. He should ease into it by saying how much he loves his kids and that he wants to be a part of their lives. Being a father is his number one priority. Being a good father also means that he have a personal life so that he may help set an example for them when they become involved in relationships. He could then acknowledge that she has some concerns about the kids interacting with you. He should listen to what her reasons are and work on a solution or compromise. If her only response is that she doesn't want her kids around another woman, then he should ask if it is fair for him to spend the rest of his life alone even if he doesn't expect her to be alone for the rest of her life. It may take several conversations as this is a complex issue.

Answer 3

Honestly she can do what she wants, and you can't do anything about it.

You are nobody, if you don't do things to make her like you she never will and she will never trust you.


And she is the mother of her children, she feels her judgement is best .

And its the only judgement that counts.

My question to you is this, Why is your being around the kids so important to you.?

It shouldn't be,
you are a distraction to their father and since he doesn't get to see them all the time why would you want to ruin things for the kids? They want there dad all to them selves with out having you there, and without you posing your ideas, and desires.

I want you to understand that what you are asking is this,

You want her and the kids, and him to be one big happy family,
You want the kids to like you and enjoy your company, and see you as a mother figure.
you want her to allow you the privledge of parenting her children.

And you want to share the little time that the man has be alotted to enjoy the company of his children,

It seems you want an awful lot.

Plus you want the lady to be happy about it.

Please stay out of things, you aren't married to him. And you aren't family to the children, and you aren't her friend.

And truthfully you are a stranger, and if it was me in her situation i wouldn't want you to rob my children of the precious little time they had with their dad.

Nor from what you've mentioned here , would i think you were mature enough to understand the needs of a broken family

because thats what they are and always will be. And he'll always listen to her.And always love her.And his children.

He will have room in his heart to love the right woman who is understanding and patient enough to give them the time and space to heal.

So please try to give her time and space to get over things and to grow to like you.

But that means you need to back off and just enjoy him-
the kids are hers and the deisions are ALL hers.-respect that.

Stop being a cause of turmoil, and start helping with the solution.

And NOT YOUR SOLUTION- which is best for YOU.

Good luck

If you want to talk more let me know.

Meg
[e-mail]

Answer 4

Well, you stolen her husband. What she wants is revenge. She wants you to feel the same way she feels right now. She will never stop until she see you suffer. Women are poison. Take care.

Answer 5

She will get over it, she still feels hurt and wants him to feel the pain she felt.. She cant find happiness so she don't want him to be happy.. How long have they been separated? If it continues then HE needs to take action and step up to her and fight her for joint custody..