My husbands ex-wife phoned up to have a chat. We just got married and we are exspecting twins. They have a son together. Shes been very strange the hole time, writing mean e-mails about how we are hurting her and they're son's feelings.We do and agree to everything that she wants. Last night she calls to let my husband know that she might not be able to have children anymore. We are suppose to be on honeymoon, and she knows all this. There is a slight tention between me and my husband now, regarding this very hurtfull thing. I feel very sorry for her and hope that she is ok.I've never been mean or bitter towards her,but she is known to play mind games and be manipulative to get what she wants. I was wondering if this is another game she is playing and what her intentions is. I just need some insight on why she would do this,and why she called up my husband?
2006-11-29 00:53:46 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
She is very jealous! It's hard for her to imagine that her x-husband will be fathering other children. She cant get over thinking in her head that -he was her husband,and she always thought that because they were married, just the two of them would be parents. She needs to accept your marriage an new parenting. Sounds like your husband allows her to call frequently and interfer. They should only be discussing whats going on with their son. You need to tell him how this is making you feel-be totally honest. With being pregnant, you need no extra stress in your life. You could also try shutting his cell off at times. Dont feel threatened at all, she will accept it all once the twins are born. She will see her x-husband being a new father and let go. She needs to know her son will be o.k. with the new additions also. All will come in time. She thinks that by calling him, she will be in his head---NOT--he married you!! He needs to not answer phone. If there is an emergency--call hotel your at! You tell him its your YOUR time. He needs to tell her to get support from other people-family-friends. Once HE tells her a few times, she will slowly get the hint.
Congradulations on your marriage and twins!!!
It will get better....focus...
2006-11-29 01:09:03 · answer #1 · answered by jpf 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl wake up she is playing you like a sucker. She is doing everything possible by the way how did she know where you went for your honeymoon? She will never let go of him, you will be the one to have to brake those ties as apparently she knows every move the two of you are making. Don't feel sorry for her, as her games are easy to see. Change your e-mail address and don't let her have it. Inform her you would like to see the doctors report maybe your doctor can help, play her game. Her son is being drawn into her game of getting them back together and right now from the problems you are saying has started she is winning him over don't let this happen. Stop agreeing to everything she wants isn't this the problem he had while he was with her, he needs to wake up and smell the coffee and the games to that she is playing. She is the wounded child now and you are the person who took her life away as she sees it so don't give into her childish games. You are the wife now and with two on the way you do not need the stress an aggrevation that she is causing. You might even have to have a lawyer intervine because she is harrassing you and your husband. Lines are going to have to be made so that she understands them, he does not need to know if there is a problem health wise with her only his son, he has broken all ties with her when he married you. If she keeps this up you will need a restraining order against her to stop her. She sounds like she is losing all her marbles upstairs. SO be careful girl. Been there done that.
2006-11-29 01:50:36 · answer #2 · answered by lnd_whitaker 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not over reacting.. Although he has financial responsibility for his kids, it should remain just that. Of course the ex wife would probably want to have him back but talk to him frankly and tell him that you don't like it. Honesty is the best policy. If he truly cares for you, he wouldn't want to hurt you by communicating with his ex wife other than financial matters. Do you have an ex husband too? If you do, ask him how he would feel if you are doing the same thing?
2016-05-23 01:38:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is the only one that can set this right. He has to let her know that they are divorced and he has a new life now and that the only bond they will be sharing is their son. If she wants to call with a legitimate question regarding their son, then fine, but personal issues are not appropriate any longer. And he must not say that it is because of u, that never works, he has to say he wants it this way. Some x wives seem to think that even though they are divorced that their x is still there for there emotional support and that really isn't fair at all to the new person in their life. I am sure she has family and friends to turn to for those issues. Some men are scared to stand up to their x's because they use the child as a pawn and leverage to keep them in their lives more than they need to be. She can't have her old life back where he is there to be her "rock" and her shoulder to cry on. He needs to take care of this right away or she will continue to do this until she finds someone new for herself. You will always need to share his love and time with his son but not his x.
2006-11-29 01:13:12 · answer #4 · answered by Amber 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's sad and bitter. Whether her inability to have children is true or not-it has nothing to do with either of you. It sounds like she's trying to take attention away from you because you have all these happy new beginnings-a new husband and twins on the way. Right now she feels like she's got nothing. But it's up to her-and her alone-to have a new and happy start. Her bitterness is going to affect her son if she goes on likes this. Don't let her get to you-just recognise this is her lashing out due to jealousy.
2006-11-29 01:03:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is playing mind games, you and your husband have to talk about what you are going to do, Your husband needs to tell her he will always be there for his child but she must get on with her own life and leave you both to get on with yours. She is properly jealous of the happiness you and your husband have found together. What ever happens always make sure the child never sees or hears any nastiness towards his mum, she is very unhappy and properly very lonely and perhaps trying to hang on to the past.I don't know how old the boy is but how can you be hurting his feelings. Be careful you are pregnant and need to take care of your babies, and getting stressed will not help. Your husbands needs to talk to her. I hope you can all find peace soon.
2006-11-29 01:07:24 · answer #6 · answered by greenangel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Boo hoo for her!! She is jelous about you and your twins. ( congrats by the way...) Unfortunalely...they do have a child together and now she will demand maximum time from your husband! Any person can see wat she is doing. Good for u not to get caught up in those mind games. Give him the space to be a dad with all kids which I think u r going to do..and u and your hubby can sleep easy! Dont let her ruin your new married life. This is your life she wants to interrupt...DONT let her! Things with hubby will most likely improve in time....just keep being the grown up! Best wishes for the future xxxx
2006-11-29 01:03:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
To rattle your cage ,that's why.First of all turn off the telephone you are on your honeymoon for god sake, and yep she wants u to break up and then that will make her very happy, keep fighting over her and about her and she just might win the game.Don't fight with him about what she says just get him to be considerate of your feelings in amongst all this.
Just be the best person and wife you can be and support him, it can't be to easy for him either and he will love you even more for your patience but don't be silly about the whole thing Good luck
2006-11-29 01:08:27 · answer #8 · answered by deb m 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she's jealous because you have him and she don't she's using her (infertility) to make him feel sorry for her, why should he be bothered if she can conceive or not, he's not with her any more, it's not his problem...turn his phone off and hide it till you get home...this is your marriage and your life...tell him if this continues then it is going to ruin your marriage, also tell him that he is to accept calls from her ONLY when it's about his son and not her problems...seems that this is another game she is playing to get his attention, if she calls again, you take the call and ask her nicely to leave you both alone because you are on your honeymoon and do not want it ruined because she has hang ups, just switch the thing off and forget her, she's playing head games...it's her problem, not yours
2006-11-29 01:06:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she is still bitter. She can't accept the fact that he is making you happy and they couldn't be happy together. It doesn't sound like he has removed himself completely from her. He may have moved on by marrying you but he has failed to set boundries with her, let her know that her personal problems are no longer his problems and that she needs to stop being so selfish. Unless the conversation with her is about their child than he has no reason to be speaking with her and should tell her "look I gotta go now" and cut off the conversation. Good luck and congrat's on the marriage and the babies!!
2006-11-29 01:13:39 · answer #10 · answered by MAC 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋