anyway he tells me yesterday he wants to leave her and that hes had enough,shall i say something to her?i spoke to her on the phone last nhight and she seems down she also says shes had enough,so hears the big problem they have no kidds but are very close to my child,im worried about the efect it would have on her,also i live with my mum and dad and small child in a 3 bed semi,she would have to live with us [coz of breakdown shes still not right]and we dont have much room,we could convert the loft but shed fall down the down the hole when shes pissed,any advice how i can get them to stey together and make it work.
2006-11-28 23:36:05 · 16 answers · asked by karen. 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
like i said she has had abreakdown her mental health isnt good nor her drinking,i am not fu**ing selfish i am worried about the effect she could cause my child[under 10]am also a full time carer for my farther and i work part time so iam not sgrounging of the goverment.i love my sister very much but i dont want to share a room with her in our 40s
2006-11-29 02:17:23 · update #1
Hi. Ironically, I have just found out that i'm in exactly the same situation myslef (altho its my brother and his wife) and so am pondering the same problems. I am at the early stages (am talking to the wife tonight to see what exactly the problem is to see if there is anything i can do by talking with my brother). We are extremely close and this is at her request so i know she has probably tried everything else other wise she wouldnt involve me. I'd like to let you know how things go
2006-11-28 23:56:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you might suggest they try marriage councelling but out side of that there is nothing you can do. The problem is between the two of them and only they can work it out. I suggest you start moving things out of the loft to make room and get a gate for the stairs or put a banister around the stair space so she won't fall down the hole 'cause she is gonna be pissed for awhile after this. Good Luck
2006-11-28 23:53:08 · answer #2 · answered by CindyLu 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well its hard to watch someone you love go through something like this. But Karen, they are mature adults, they need to work this out themselves. But since you want to help maybe you can sit them down and hear each one out, send them to a marirage counselor if need be. Get to the root of the problem and dont get in their way it will get even more messy.
With regards to your daughter you take care of her and never have her witness the two together when there is tension. Protect her but when you see things no getting better you can tell her that her uncle is going away for a while or something like that because kids what to know things at all ages. Kids feel secure when they are told like adults they liked to be informed but on a much simpler level.
2006-11-28 23:50:18 · answer #3 · answered by care alot 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry I know you want to help your sister I would too but there is really nothing you can do. It is not really your place to decide that they should stay together. It is their choice and if both of them want out then there has to be a reason. You don't just end a marriage for something stupid. You just have to sit back and see what happens. Im sure everything will work itself out! Good Luck!
2006-11-28 23:47:00 · answer #4 · answered by Kat A 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have they tried any sort of marriage counselling? It seems like they are not speaking to each-other about it and turn to you. Maybe they need some professional help as it is more than likely out of your hands. It depends on why they both feel like this. It would be nice to hear that they will work it out. Too many marriages fall apart in my opinion.
2006-11-28 23:41:28 · answer #5 · answered by Soph 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing you can really do is suggest counseling for them, or just be supportive.
Go ahead and tell her what he said. This might make her try to hold things on her end up alittle longer. Why would she have to move? IF he's the one who wants to leave, let him. She'll still have a roof over her head.
2006-11-28 23:59:16 · answer #6 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If someone has the nerve to tell their wife's sister that he is leaving, I think he told her that because he wants her to be the one to tell the wife. At this point, I'm not sure you can do anything. If they wanted it to work out, they are both two grown people, they know how to do that on their own. You need to stay out of it, because things can get blamed on you, you need to tell him to go to your sister and tell her how he feels. If you love your sister you would not care how crowded it would be in your home, you would want her out of a situation that is hurting her.
2006-11-28 23:44:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes, u just being selfish and thinkin more abot urself then ur sister. Think for once, its her in real trouble. You only worried abot the potential tiny hard time u may get if she moves in.....
She is ur sister....you should go upto her and assure her that u will do your max to help her. Life is full of upz n dwns, its ur help that she always gonna remember and you will always feel proud about it.
2006-11-29 01:03:40 · answer #8 · answered by billy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can do nothing - this is completely their problem to work through, or not. All you can be is a supportive sister should she need it. And tell the husband that he cannot be discussing this issue with you - you cannot betray your sister's trust. Tell him he must talk to your sister, and to stop trying to drag you into the middle of it.
2006-11-28 23:41:27 · answer #9 · answered by cuddles_gb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that if he wants to leave her it's up to him to tell her this and explain his reasons honestly before you step in. He owes this to her and i think you're job at the moment is to get this accross to him. Then when he's done this, it's then your turn to step in and be there to support her. If he's made his decision there's little you can do to change things. It's up to the 2 of them! That's a sad thing to go through.
2006-11-28 23:41:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋