my son is overwhelmed with his life. He works a nite job and tries to go to school (college) during the day. It has not turned out so good he is failing his classes. He was special ed in HS before going to the community college, I do not believe he has asked for any special consideration at the college though I believe he should, he is a very proud young man. Also he is still a ward of the state and lives on his own, he must work to pay 100 dollars of his rent each month buy his groceries etc, he is without glasses cause he broke his and the state could care less if he sees or not apparently as they are dragging their feet in helping him get the glasses. I cannot help him financially and he is fiercely independent, my heart is breaking, he has given up and is talking about joining the U.S. Air Force. THis kid has a measured IQ of 135 but for some reason has always struggled and mostly failed in doing schoolwork he will not ask for help. Is the Air Force a good idea.? be kind pls.
2006-11-28 23:21:36 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Education & Reference ➔ Special Education
that is NOT a typo his IQ has been measured at 135. Since he was little he has struggled with school, I feel my choices in life have hurt my child and now I am not knowing how to help him, he also thinks that marrying his gf at 19 is a good way to get good housing in the military should he enlist. How can I help him see other ways ?
2006-11-28 23:25:33 · update #1
As an Ex military wife of 17 yrs I can tell you gettingin the AF is NOT easy. My Ex husband was a recruiter and the standards are extremely high. for one he can't be a single parent, if he has any law violations it will reduce his chance, so will tattoes. He has to be able to score 40 or higher on the ASVAB test and if his eyes are really bad that could also nix it. If he has ever taken ritalin he has to disclose it and any Inhaler use after the age of 9 will disqualify him as well!!! On the other hand the AF is the best choice if he is determined to go military because they are not usually directly on the frontline, My Ex-Husband retired after 20 yrs without any major deployments or even TDY's or Remotes, It is rare but it can happen. As for the housing issue, if he enlists he can also live in a dorm, they are quite comfortable now compared to 20 yrs ago and he would have good benefits. The military life is hard, specially with the always having to relocate, specially when kids are involved, but being in the civilian world now is just as hard if not even harder. Unless you have serious health concerns you can't stop him if he is 18, talk to him and go to the recruiter with him, maybe it will ease your mind if you cann get your questions answerd as well
2006-11-29 23:44:43 · answer #1 · answered by germanygirl_us 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as if your son has ADHD or some other type of learning disability. ADHD kids often have very high IQs. It also sounds as if he must have a lot of emotional baggage to carry with him.
I think that the Air Force or other military service is a great idea. It will help to pay for his education, help him to mature, and teach him what's important in life. He may find the discipline and structure that he needs there.
Obviously he doesn't need to be married; he has enough to carry with him right now. Not sure why housing is an issue that could be cured by marrying. Perhaps you could negotiate your full support for the military plan in exchange for waiting to marry.
2006-11-29 06:34:49 · answer #2 · answered by kramerdnewf 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Actually, I believe U.S. Airforce is best branch of military. Though, He might find it a bit hard. It is a branch for the intelligent. It's not like Marines or Army when every tom dick and harry can join. He will have to take the ASVAB test. I think he will have just as hard time in Airforce as outside. But if he makes it, he will end up a better person. So support him.
You thought about getting him a visit to a psychologist? He could have some issues like Learning Disability. Yes, a person can have LD while being smart. Called Gifted Learning Disability or Gift with Learning Ability.
As a suggestion for his glasses issue, You could buy him a pair. Costco sells frames from $40 and Single Vision lens for $20. State would pay for doctor visit at least. Without glasses could be his problem in college.
2006-11-28 23:49:58 · answer #3 · answered by The Doctor 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
If he were to sign up to any branch of the military, the Air Force would be the best option as air to air combat is pretty much non-existant.
Seriously, while you don't want him to join, the benefits probably outweigh the cons as the military would pay for his schooling, his rent, and give him a pair of glasses. And if he were to join the reserves, he would serve 6 years, be able to stay at home, and when he finishes, he would have a decent pension to fall back on.
I know I sound like a recruiter, but I am not. If you really don't want him to join the military, the best option is to find a way to help him financially, whether it be finding him a better job, or maybe sell something you don't need anymore. Besides, I hear while the Air Force is a pretty laid back branch to be in, they will do ANYTHING to get people to join, even lie to them about their IQ. Don't tell him about their ways directly, otherwise he'll probably be more inclined to join.
2006-11-28 23:33:29 · answer #4 · answered by Low Key 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Your son sounds like a wonderful person at a very difficult time in his life. On the positive side, his experiences will certainly build a lot of character. This story sounds very familiar to me. A gifted child that just isn't able to function in the main stream. It sound like he needs some coping strategies to succeed at school. I am sure the school has seen this before and should be able to provide a councillor or mentor to guide your son. Keep asking questions at the school and don't stop until you get the answers you need. My brother had the same experience and excelled in the Armed Forces. Structure and discipline I believe were the key. I wish you the best of luck.
2006-11-29 12:29:46 · answer #5 · answered by Sarah 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have him talk to someone at the recruiting office, or ask if they can allow him to speak to an enlisted soldier so he can get a better idea of what he's getting himself into. As a parent, try to explain to him that you just don't want to see him get hurt. In today's age, the worst fear is getting shipped off for somewhere that you won't come back from. Tell him that. Make sure he's ready for the thought of that.
If he doesn't see any alternatives to joining, then aside from that, all you can do is love him and tell him that you'll support him in his life, even though you don't agree with the choice he makes.
Good luck for your son.
2006-11-29 00:14:25 · answer #6 · answered by Gretchen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Refer him to information about other careers that may interest him. I've seen enlistment ads for Air Force, they're looking for more than just jet pilots so he doesn't necessarily have to go to the front lines. You can get him to research some of the less risky positions in the military. Don't try to push him into something he hates, that's a good way to lose him.
2006-11-29 11:23:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a smart kid. Joining the air force will make him feel proud of himself and others around him. His respect will increase along with his strength and will to live, perhaps the military is a very good decision after all. You just don't want to lose him, and that is very kind of you. It's hard on a parent, but don't worry. It's not as bad as it seems. God Bless.
2006-11-29 08:35:20 · answer #8 · answered by kcdude 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At present he's feeling low and so are you. Why don't you take a holiday with him and then you can let him know your thoughts. I think you should see his point of view too. Maybe this will turn him into a fine confident man. He should know tht he should first study and get a worthwhile degree which will help him to get a high post in the Air force.
2006-11-29 00:46:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
As ex military myself, I can't really help anyone to convince people that's it's not a good idea.
When you think of the massive benefits for 2 years of service with the GI Bill, huge enlistment bonuses, and experience that will look good on your resume for life, it's hard to say it's not a good oppurtunity for people who are struggling.
Just tell him to make sure to pick the job he wants prior to going, and never ever believe that 'you can change later'. If he goes through the enlistment process, and at the end of the 2 days they don't offer him the job he wants, tell him to thank them and walk. He'll be able to try again immediately and they won't try to sucker him with another option.
With his IQ, he'll ace the ASVAB test (same as I did) and will be eligible for any job he could want.
2006-11-28 23:36:46 · answer #10 · answered by Javelinl 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋