My wife is pregnant and she is in another country. I love her more than anything,and we are a christian family. We babtised together.I don't understand what happened.I got really drunk and lost myself with a drug-taking girl.I remember barely nothing, but I feel completely depressed. Do you have any suggestions?
2006-11-28 22:59:53 · 28 answers · asked by Evelina G 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
oh dear, this is a very very hard situation. Should you tell your wife and risk hurting her or live with the lie. My gut reaction is, the offence is yours, the guilt is yours, you should be the one that has to live with it, not your wife. Her forgiveness will not doubt make you feel better but at what cost to her. She hasn't done anything wrong why should she suffer. But of course it's not quite a simple as that is it.
If you don't tell her, it may affect the way you behave toward her. She may begin to sense there is a problem and if she doesn't know what it is she is likely to think she could be to blame.
You know your wife best. Would she want to be told? Would she want to know straight away or would it be easier to cope with months after the event. For me personally, if it was a one off event, never going to happen again, not going to impact on the rest of our lives, I'd rather not know at all. But that's me, I can't speak for your wife. If she is a christian then she is bound to forgive you but it doesn't mean it won't hurt her to do so.
You don't mention if you used a condom. If you didn't your really should get an aids test. That may be a tricky thing to keep from your wife.
Most importantly though, and this is the really hard bit, forgive yourself. You made a mistake, everybody does it, OK it may seem like a pretty monumental mistake at the moment but it's just a mistake never the less. If your wife finds out she will be justifiably angry and hurt. Doubtless she will scream and shout and that you probably deserve. But you've seen your mistake, if you are truly sorry and have learnt from that once you have apologised and taken the flack for it, you and your wife must both move past it and hope that in the long run it makes your relationship stronger.
Good luck
2006-11-28 23:17:33 · answer #1 · answered by gerrifriend 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Get yourself tested for any infections you may have contracted.
Keep quiet about this incident and never mention it to your wife. You should not unburden your conscience at her expense. She is pregnant and that makes it doubly important that you keep your family together. You are right that it was a stupid thing to do but as a Christian you are familiar with the concept of forgiveness. Pray about it, accept God's forgiveness for this single act of betrayal, and resolve to do better in future. That is an important part of being a Christian. And another is that you never forget the magnitude of the forgiveness given to you, and refrain from judging her too harshly if she does anything that offends you.
Remember: DON'T tell her. She does not need to be burdened with this knowledge.
2006-11-28 23:25:51 · answer #2 · answered by Specsy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you need to go get checked out...Seriously!!!!! You have a baby on the way, you dont want to risk giving anything to you wife, and transferring it to the baby when its born... As far the the cheating, you need to be honest and tell your wife. She may be forgiving and she may not. This is something you have to promise will never happen again for any reason. You must realize that if your wife forgives you, you will probably have to build that trust again, and that may take along time to do. Is this something you can deal with?
When it all comes down to it, I would be completely honest with your wife..... and never drink again, if this is the stupid stuff you do when you drink..... Good Luck, and I hope your wife forgives you, because I think you are truly sorry for your actions, now its up to you if you ever do it again...
2006-11-28 23:07:56 · answer #3 · answered by Indymom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are truly a christian family this should have NEVER happened!!If you really love your wife you would not even have thought about cheating on her!! I think saying you were drunk and did not know what you were doing is just an excuse,because you put yourself in a situation that you should have not been in! I hope you do not infect your pregnant wife with any disease's!You have to tell her and just pray that she forgives you!!GOOD LUCK
2006-11-28 23:26:46 · answer #4 · answered by linda bug 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are using the drinking as your excuse for having a little fun. What truly christian man "gets lost" with a drug-taking girl and does her when his wife is pregnant? None. You are a fraud to your family, wife and even to yourself. My suggestion is you get you and your wife in the same country and start acting like a family.
2006-11-28 23:20:38 · answer #5 · answered by lily 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to come clean to your wife. But do it in person. Keeping it from her isn't gonna help anything trust me on that one. And the sooner you tell her the better. Because believe it or not it actually matters to woman how long you keep it from her. I know you might have concerns about that since she's pregnant but you don't wanna drag this on. Get her to the same place as you are so you can be there for her and show her how sorry you are and how this is destroying you. Just make sure you don't push her into forgiving you and make sure you get some professional help in dealing with this. You can not get through this on your own.
2006-11-28 23:05:10 · answer #6 · answered by denmark_4_life 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't drink to the point of drunkenness and you don't know what is going on. That would be a good place to start. And I would run to the clinic and get myself checked for STD's and make sure I did not give my wife a disease. There is nothing you can do, the deed is done. You now have to live with it. Good luck and God bless****
2006-11-29 00:11:26 · answer #7 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try prayer and asking both God and your wife for forgiveness. Do some serious self examination and ask why you are in another country than your pregnant wife. Ask why you were even drinking with a "drug-taking" girl and learn what "love her more than anything" means.
2006-11-28 23:02:42 · answer #8 · answered by LaRue0715 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Pray the woman you were with is not pregnant with your child and didn't give you a STD. If the woman is not pregnant keep your guilt to yourself. Never put yourself in a position to cheat again. You will have to live with the guilt but don't break your wife's heart by telling her because you want to unburden yourself. Of course if that woman is pregnant then you have to tell your wife and pray she will forgive you.
2006-11-28 23:10:30 · answer #9 · answered by lady01love 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For a start get tested before you touch your wife again, you don't want to infect your wife or put your baby at risk . There are no excuses why you did what you did but i don't think i would tell your wife if i were you. ( I don't believe I'm saying this!!) but your wife's hormones would be haywire now with the pregnancy and i don't think it is right to stress her out but just think what you have to lose. You have to live with this for the rest of your life be nice to her treat her as she should be treated. Really you should be ashamed of your self, she is having your baby and this is how you repay her?
2006-11-29 00:36:52 · answer #10 · answered by angel 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋