What are my chances of keeping my kids after my divorce? Here is my situation! I was a stay at home mom & my husband didnt want me to work. Now that I want a divorce, he wants full custody!! The whole time we were married I never worked a job & do not have one at this time. Please any advice would be VERY HELPFUL. My kids are my world!!!!
2006-11-28 22:47:42 · 6 answers · asked by jessieslast2 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My husband & I are on bad terms right now cause I want a divorce. We have 2 children. Ages 5 & 3, a boy & a girl. Anyway,For 6 years I was a stay-at-home mom. I would never put my kids through the heartache of being without their father!!!! My husband on the other hand would just to hurt me!! I'm currently unemployed but I will have a job by the time my divorce is final!! He has a good paying job w/benefits. I want to do what is best for my children even if that means letting them live w/their dad until I can support them as well as we did together!My kids LOVE their daddy. Icant tell them that he is no good or bad mouth him to or infront of them!! As much as I dislike him right now!!Then there is the question if I give him temporary custody, wont it be almost impossible to get them back??? Advice Please?!
2006-11-28 23:55:26 · update #1
Well the courts will generally look at the mom first for the simple fact that you are MOM! Be prepared though they will check everything out about you. I understand that a custody battle is hard I had to go through one with my mom and her ex-husband over my baby sister and I was with her through every step. They will check to see how fit you are as a mom. What will really help you is that you were at home with the kids from day 1 (which I also understand is a very hard thing I am home with my 2 children and my son is 2 now and my dauther 3 months old here soon) Eventually you are going to feel like you privacy has been invaded big time but just keep on smiling and you will get through it. I live by a saying that helps me through alot "The mind only gives you what you can handle"
There is one thing that looks really good upon a parent in court is weather or not you bad mouth their father in front of the kids if you do that is really going to hurt them and the same goes for you husband.
I reall wish you good luck through all of this you need someone to talk to here is my yahoo messanger address marketing_masters@yahoo.ca I am on right now if you would like to talk I will be up for the rest of the day my baby girl is up and my son will be up with in the hour here. So feel free to contact me I understand how hard these can be on someone.
2006-11-28 22:55:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your chances are very good.
However, if you want a divorce, you should not take the kids away from the father.
My personal opinion is that if you want to break up the marriage and have not see a professional counsellor, then just leave. Leave the kids in the marital home where they grew up, and when you have your place set up, then you can make arrangements to have them.
Since you have no world other than the kids, this soon will change. You'll need a job, you'll make friends. It's no wonder you don't want to be with your husband, it sounds like you've already shut him out, devoting your life to your kids at the expense of your love for your husband. He probably hasn't taken kindly to this. If I don't miss my guess, he is probably angry, frustrated and easily irritated, right?
That's probably because he has felt he is only an ATM and useful for oil changes and killing spiders. Back to the kids....
They are his kids too. Sure, you are their mother. That doesn't mean you are better than their father. Different? Yes.
The deal is each of you have roles, and sometimes those roles clash.
So, the most harmful thing you can do to your children is deprive them time away from their father.
So, feel free to divorce, but make sure that you offer no less than 50% of the parenting time to him. The children are just as much his as yours, and it sounds like he wants them.
2006-11-28 22:52:45 · answer #2 · answered by camys_daddy 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Most of the time the mother has the best chance of retaining custody unless your ex can prove you are unfit. Being a stay at home Mom should actually build your case. Your ex is just tying to retain control over you by threatening to take away what means the most to you. Hang in there and don't be afraid to contact me if you need extra support.
2006-11-28 23:10:19 · answer #3 · answered by Belinda 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
generally, a woman gets custody unless she is mentally deranged or an addict. something else you may consider with your lawyer is joint custody, where the kids go to either home. personally, i think this is the best option. be civil to him and don't let the kids hear your frustrations. good luck. by the way, both parents need to support kids financially.
2006-11-29 00:22:49 · answer #4 · answered by sinned 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing is he didnt want you to work.. you need to stress that in court! He is the one that kept you at home.. A friend of mine just went through the exact thing, and she at first won custody, but she screwed around and didnt show up for court the last time and lost them. So just make sure you show up to court. Good Luck!!! oh, and make sure you have a really good attorney!!
2006-11-28 22:57:29 · answer #5 · answered by Indymom 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
best of luck to you. I went through this and it tore my heart out. There are no good answers.
If you can, work out split custody. it is difficult in the beginning but it does get easier as the routine settles in.
2006-11-29 03:32:01 · answer #6 · answered by Jennifer D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋