is my husband cheating?

Question

my husband has been chatting with this women for years and calls her babe and say ilove you babe and thinks about her every day . when i ask about this he say they are just good friends .and is very defince of of this chatting to her.help

Answer 1

hmmmmm
maybe it is what he says.....the fact that he is doing it in front of you tells me that they are friends but if it upsets you then he should stop.....good luck

Answer 2

How do you know he thinks about her every day ? Does he tell you that ? I think you have it in your head that he thinks about her. If your husband has been chatting to her for years, what's changed that all of a sudden it annoys you ? He calls her babe !! Big deal it's only a word and he probably only tells her he loves as a friendly gesture. Look l am not trying to defend your husband by any means but l feel you are just being a little over sensitive about the whole thing, after all you said yourself he has been doing it for years. If it genuinely worries you that much, speak to him and tell him how you feel. I don't honestly feel that he is cheating on you.

Answer 3

This sounds like she's more than just a friend. Does he tell you these things, too? If not, I'd say he's definitely cheating. There's nothing wrong with a married person having a friendship with a person of the opposite sex, but it must be platonic. If this woman's nickname is not Babe, I think there is a problem here.

Answer 4

He may not be physically cheating, but the fact is, he is dedicating time, thought, and emotions in another women. I personally don't agree with it. As a married man with 2 kids, it seems life is very full. Work expects many hours of unpaied overtime, there is always something going on with kids or family. I cannot imagine taking more time away from my wife and family to chat with or pal around with another women. My experience thourgh friends has shown, there is always an attarction on some level. They may not act on it, but if there was not, why have the relationship? I don't know the details of your life, but one day there will be some problem in her life or his that could cause them to take the leap. You can force him to make a choice, because after all, he made a commitment to you in front of your family, the law, and god and it is not unreasonable to ask him to live up to it!

Answer 5

Well at least he didn't meet her hook up have sex with her I guess. But yes Internet cheating can be a strong emotional affair and is cheating..... For your husband to say he loves another and thinks about her all the time means he probably does. The fact you know about it and he still does it and gets defensive is warning signs that he doesn't even care that you know..... I don't know what to say look at your relationship talk to him and get counseling...if you can't work it out moving on is always an option. Sorry.

Answer 6

If he spends more time chatting with her than with you, he's cheating. If he values her opinion more than yours, he's cheating. If he talks more about her than he does you, he's cheating. Emotional cheating is just as destructive to a relationship as physical cheating.

If he ignores your concern about the amount of time he spends chatting with her, he does not respect you and it's time to leave. As long as you allow him to treat you badly, he will. What does he have to lose if you do nothing? He's got a wife AND a girlfriend. If he hasn't had physical relations with her yet, it's only a matter of time.

Been there; done that; bought the T-shirt; use it for a dust rag now.

Answer 7

Well I would need more information to give a certain answer but if I was you I would investigate. Ask yourself "Do I trust him?" "Will I ever trust him again?" "Do I want to put up with this the rest of my life?" and if you answer no to 2 of them then I would leave. What is love without trust? Also he should consider your feelings. If he knows you don't like it and he doesn't change it then screw him. If he really wants to make a difference then he would change but you would have to change a little with him also. If he changes then you will have to show that you trust him or it wont work. Good luck!

Answer 8

I think you already answered your own question. I don't know how you reacted to that situation but it seems youre okay with it since I didnt see any trace of anger or hatred. If you carry things right & it's not a problem with you, make more effort to liven up your relationship but if it bothers you so much you need to talk about it. You need to decide and stand by it.

Answer 9

Sounds like someone who's opinions he values and known for a long time. It's possible they are just long time friends, with a fondness only.
Keep an eye on it, but don't make any accusations...you'll look like a Harpie.

Answer 10

"I love you, babe" is far too familiar for him to say if they are totally innnocent, good friends. I am married and have male friends and i've never used that term with them.
I would class that as cheating, even if it's clear they aren't intimate. Those words are special and should be for your nearest and dearest only....chin up hun....you're worth more than that....

Answer 11

If you really think that this friend ship is not just, then hire a pi. and find not for sure. hes acting inappropriate, and should not speek like that (even if there only friends) in front of you. out of respect.