what do you do when you suspect your husband is cheating but have no proof n da small proof you have he denies

Question

phone messages which he says he does not recognise the sende but are too personal.

Answer 1

As our marriage relationship evolves through time, there may be a few bumps in the road that lead us to question whether or not our husband is having an affair. Here are some tips to help safe guard your relationship.

Emotional Intimacy Keeps A Marriage Strong - There may be a time when you feel more like a roommate than a wife that you are both just co-existing in the same house but not really growing as a couple.

When this happens, it is clear that there is a need to invest some time in strengthening your relationship. Time should be taken daily to talk, give loving touches, sharing feelings and dreams and cut back on activities that take away time from your marriage.

Developing emotional intimacy builds strong bonds that are not easily torn down. It's important to nourish an emotional intimacy that will keep the marriage strong so that you don't have to worry about your husband being tempted by an affair.

Have Fun In Your Marriage - If the fun and spontaneity of your marriage has been replaced with resignation and complacency, then it's time to spice up your marriage.

As you spice up your marriage with activities that are of interest to you and your husband, it keeps you involved with each other’s lives. As you have fun together, you both will be happier and there is a natural sex appeal about a happy person.

Whether it's renting a jet ski, going camping and hiking, or attending a play. Find things that are fun to do, spice up your life and give you opportunities to spend time together.

Don't Make Rash Decisions - If your worst fear is realized and your husband really is having an affair, don't make any rash decisions until you have considered all of the facts.

You may feel if your spouse is having an affair you'd get a divorce. Wait!! every situation is different and there is no cookie cutter answer for every case. Thus, it's important to look very carefully at the details of your situation and any extenuating circumstances. You are in a better position to make a decision when you consider all the facts. Many people faced with a similar situation discover that their love for their husband creates a desire within them to save their marriage rather than throw it to the wolves. Those who have struggled through rebuilding their marriage, and fixing the things that allowed for an affair find a marriage relationship that comes out so much the better than it had ever been before.

3 Little Mistakes That Could Cost Your Your Marriage

Just because you and your spouse pledged to love and nurture each other through all your days, doesn't guarantee that your marriage will remain vital and strong. Here are 3 little mistakes, that left unchecked, could cost you your marriage.

Mistake #1 - Not Hearing Your Spouses Plea For Attention - With many responsibilities pulling at us each day, it is easy to fall into a routine of life that may not include nurturing our relationship with our spouse. As we fulfill our responsibilities at work, in our community and with our children, we may not always save some of our time and energy for our spouse. When this happens, our spouse will usually make a subtle plea to be notice and nurtured. If this subtle plea goes unnoticed, they may even make a more direct plea for attention.

If we assume that they know we love them and continue to spend our time and energies on these other efforts, we are sending a very clear message that these other responsibilities are more important to us than our relationship with our spouse.

It's critical to let our spouse know on a daily basis that we value our life and relationship with them. It can be as simple as making sure they always get a passionate kiss on their way in and out of the house with a heart felt "I love you". However, it will also require making a conscious effort to include them in our busy life.

After all, our job, community efforts and children will only be a part of our life for a defined period of time, whereas our spouse will be with us for a life-time. Keep your priorities in order, and you will go far in avoiding "Mistake #1."

Mistake #2 - Sharing Intimate, Personal Information With
Someone Other Than Our Spouse - In many cases, the first step down the path of infidelity starts with individuals sharing intimate personal information with someone other than our spouse on a regular basis. Either party could mistake this for feelings of intimacy, and secrecy only encourages this intimacy to grow. Personal, intimate discussions should be reserved for our spouse, it is only there that we will receive the best counsel from someone who deeply loves us and has our best interests as the heart of their desires.

Mistake #3 - Harboring Ill Feelings About Your Spouse - There is nothing wrong with having less than loving feelings about your spouse when you've had a major disagreement. However, there is something wrong with harboring those ill feelings to the point of harming your relationship. If these feelings are fed, they will grow into being critical about every aspect of our spouses imperfections. Following those times of disagreement, help yourself to calm down by reminding yourself of your spouse's many positive traits and you'll be surprised at how easily those loving feelings return.

By avoiding these "3 MISTAKES", your marriage can remain strong and vital for a lifetime.

Here’s also is a tactic that helps solve the dilemma and gives you a greater chance of saving the marriage. It’s called “back off!”

Stop pressing.
Slow down the pace.
Be silent – most of the time.
Stop making requests.
Stop asking questions.
Stop trying to wiggle out some assurance.
Stop being a pain and being in pain!

Remember, this “cheating” state, if it really exists will fade. You need to have the confidence that it will. You need patience. The relationship will run its course.

Probably he needs the space, needs some quiet moments to truly hear himself and face the emptiness within.

There will be a voice within him that says,
This will not last. Is this what I really want?
At some time I must live in the real world. Where is this taking me?
Is this where I really want to go?
What am I doing to my wife?
Why do I feel this empty pit in my stomach when I’m not with her?
What does this say about me?”

This is his opportunity to learn about TRUE love. Don’t get in his way.

I know. I know. This is easier said than done. But, you must do it. It is vitally important that you learn to quiet yourself, control yourself and keep on the straight and narrow path.

At this point with change to a skill called "Charging Neutral" to help "back off." Use that skill. This will take some effort.

It will demand that you get to know yourself better, that you gain more confidence in you – you build a strong foundation under yourself that can weather any storm. This will be your opportunity to grow to another level.

Oh, by the way. he will notice! And….he might like it.

Backing off does not mean that you don’t have anything to do with him. Quite the contrary. You want to maintain your contact with him, but it will be QUALITY contact. It will be contact that does honor to you, confront him with the reality (no name calling, no arguments, no raising of voices and no mud slinging) and work toward resolution for the marriage persistence, patience, diginity pride and grace will bring good results.

Summary: Less often means more when facing emotional infidelity. Learning a specific skill such as "backing off" enhances one's chance to save the marriage.
Good Luck>r

Answer 2

Look if you find "proof" that your husband is cheating the last thing you want to do is confront him with it until you're absolutely sure. If you do confront him with weak "proof" of an affair all you'll be doing is giving him the opportunity to lie and be more careful not to leave that type of evidence again. The best thing you can do is wait until you're more sure....and he's bound to slip up some time. Then when you finally decide to confront him make sure you do it at the right time. I know it might be hard to hold it in but wait until you both have time to talk....maybe in the evening. And don't let him know in advance that you want to have a talk. That will make him suspicious and give him time to come up with a lie. When people know in advance that they have to lie to someone it makes it harder to tell that they're lying. But you can look for signs like too much or too little eye contact, unnatural pauses when he talks, moving on the chair before starting a sentence. But no matter what.....go with your guts. There's never smoke without a fire. Trust yourself. I hope this helps you a bit.

Answer 3

You could wait. He's bound to make a big mistake soon.
You could follow him and find out yourself. It can be tricky but don't let him know you are doing it. It can be hard.
You could have someone else do it, which can be expensive.
You can get the phone number and call your self or send messages to it..A friend of mine did that and it worked. She said things like 'it's best not to hang around with married men' or something similar.
The question is do you want to fight for him or are you waiting for solid proof so that you can leave him.
Depending on your goals you will decide on your course of action.
If you are aiming at a divorce go for the professional solution which could stand in court.
If you feel that you can forgive him and that he won't do it again if he actually is cheating go for the personal approach.
What would you do if he is cheating?
If he is innocent, are you willing to put some serious strain in your relationship just to make sure?
Situations like this eat you alive. Find out and be brave.

Answer 4

has he all of a sudden become overprotective with his mobile phone
does he have it on silent, looks guilty all the time, makes excuses to say he is meeting friends, dress smarter, pay more attention to how he looks!! Keeps out of your way, these are the signs

Answer 5

Look for other clues...does he fidget when you asked him or get overly defensive...ask him straight out are you having an affair emotional or sexual I would like to know.

Answer 6

Oh God. It's very bad situation. I can't handle it.