This is not a problem of mine but it did upset me. I, still to this day, wish I knew why it happened.
My brother was having a massive 19TH birthday (since he didn't have an 18TH organized) and we invited practically everyone of his age group from his old high school as well as his Latvian friends (we're half Latvian.)
We purchased enough food for 150 people (that's how many were invited) and $300 worth of alchohol (mostly beer.)
Most of the Latvians turned-up but not one person from his former high school turned up!! Not even the people who turn-up at "everyone's" party had even shown-up.
#1- More than 100 people were invited (by mail) from that group and I still can't figure out why none of them turned up.
#2- There were only about 20 Latvians but most of them turned up.
2006-11-28 21:50:28 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
With those two points I have given you, it strikes me as most odd for that to happen.
What could my brother have possibly done wrong, I don't know, and I don't believe he did anything to deserve that from his "friends."
I didn't say anything to them but I'm offended at the way they had been so inconsiderate towards him.
What could possibly be the reason why none of the people who knew him best fail to turn up at his party?
How could they (and how dare they) treat him like this?
2006-11-28 21:51:24 · update #1
They, grow away. It sounds odd but is true. High school students grow away from the old life to take on the new. After graduation most teens prepare for the life they need, be it "work a day" or "collage and study". Unfair as it seems, once we graduate and the world we had changes to the world we need and old friends or school chums pay the price.
My mother was a teacher and worked on the alumni/reunion board.
It was sad really, the way she spoke of the people that had grown away. She said that most simply did not like high school and vowed never to return. The sad thing is that the chums and sweethearts, pay the price of that vow.
So as you think back on that sad part of your life and your brother's party, remember that school friends had grown away and that the Latvian friends had a party to attend.
2006-11-28 22:32:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A few possibilities come to mind.
He might not have been very popular in school for some reason. Maybe his school mates just didn't know him that well (some of the might not even have remembered him) or didn't like him (some personalities are less popular than others) or he may have done something bad that you don't know about but that his old school mates know about and dislike him for.
Another possibility is that his old school mates were off to college or something and didn't read the mail in time or couldn't come for some reason, such as being in a university too far away, being busy with college life and new friends or working along with their studies or something. If they didn't know him much they might not have felt like their presence was needed at his party and preferred to do something else.
Another thought that comes to mind is, was he bullied at school? Sometimes the bullying continues and ignoring the person is a common method.
People can be mean, but sometimes things like this can happen unintentionally, especially at such a busy age when everyone's life is changing a lot.
I don't think you'll ever know exactly why nobody came. If it really bothers you, maybe you could try talking to some of his school mates and see what you find out, but I think it's best to just let it go and move on. It's sad that almost nobody came, but at least his Latvian friends were decent and now your brother knows who his real friends are. I hope he still enjoyed his birthday.
2006-11-29 06:03:45 · answer #2 · answered by undir 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending on when his birthday was, many of his former classmates, since they had already graduated, may have either been on vacation, or off to college. Since you can usually figure about five percent won't want to come, and another five percent may be ill, it is easy to see why there would be a lower turnout. It does seem odd that none at all came, but some may have thought they would not be comfortable with a large crowd of people they did not know (i.e. the Latvian friends). As you can see, when you put all of these reasons together, it accounts for quite a few absent bodies.
More importantly, has this event marred your brother's life as it seems to have yours? Sometimes we do not get adequate reasons for the events in our lives. We can only make the best of each situation and try to put it behind us. Let's face it: If this was the greatest disappointment you were ever to face, your life would be blessed, indeed.
God bless.
2006-11-29 06:03:07 · answer #3 · answered by therealme 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't take it to heart. the people that mattered most did turn up. You'll also find that the majority of people who you hung around with at secondary school moved on and you may never have seen them again. It's just growing up and moving on! You did everything right by formally inviting folk. Some people have a problem with gatecrashers (that's people turning up uninvited if you didn't know) but I think your brothers party sounded ok. The next party you get invited to, politely ask if everyone turned up that should have done...someone always doesn't. It happens
2006-11-29 06:01:34 · answer #4 · answered by beechwoodboris 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did your brother stay in touch with the people who were invited? Age 19 is a very busy time for people who are many times at crossroads in their lives taking them away from their highschool roots. Most are making new relationships through new jobs, careers, college etc. and a party one year out of highschool is just too soon for most people to come back to, when they have tried to get away for so long.
2006-11-29 06:01:42 · answer #5 · answered by stevieray 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Kids, especially teenagers are cruel, and if you are not on the right 'list', then they will not be seen DEAD at your party. Do not assume that since they were in the same class as your brother that they were his friends.
Cruel, but true. (AND they must learn it from us adults, we only go to the parties/functions of people who move in the 'right' circles)
2006-11-29 05:56:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is possible that his "friends" did not remember him, and if they did, they probably had other things to attend to, and its possible that they dont even like him.
2006-11-29 05:55:31 · answer #7 · answered by Daggy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to learn to let things go my dear.
2006-11-29 05:57:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
People are very strange creatures. you don't need that sort of friends
2006-11-29 05:53:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He may not have been very popular in high school.
Your sister,
Ginger
2006-11-29 06:03:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋