I've been going out with a guy for 4 months, I met him at a party where my mother was also a guest so she met him too. She continually asks me about him, expects me to take him round to to see her, bought him a present & wrote him note in a card & insisted I give them to him, despite me saying I didn't think it was appropriate. On the occasion I did take him round she completely dominated the conversation, made some jokes at my expense, leaving me feeling uncomfortable as it is still a new relationship. Last week she made cakes &, again, insisted I take some to him, despite me saying repeatedly I didn't want to! It feels like she is trying too hard to get him to like HER (she has already made up her mind she wants him as a son-in-law but I haven't decided yet what I want!) and, significantly for me, he hasn't told his parents he is seeing anyone yet! Silly or sensible opinions appreciated, anything to help me get some perspective, it's driving me nuts!
2006-11-28 21:46:09 · 16 answers · asked by Lulu H 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Great and very helpful answers everyone, thank you very much ... going to go with the cement idea (not really)!
2006-11-29 00:03:54 · update #1
Calmly tell her that you know she loves you and wants to help you-but her actions regarding your boyfriend are making you feel uncomfortable,and may just hurt the relationship. Ask her please to leave you to get on with this relationship your way,as you don't even know how you feel about him at this point.
Good luck!
2006-11-28 21:52:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mothers can be way pushy if they like someone they think you should fair enough you might like him but if anything the fact your mum likes him will put you right off and also if shes pushing you to like him in you own head its hard to decide how you feel eg if you like him just cos you do or if its the fact that your mums telling you to. Decide on him on your own tell your BF what shes doing to you try to spend as much time a posible together without your mothers company decide if hes what your looking for cos in the end your the one whos going to be with him. Id be careful though is your mother single or just quite flirtatious some mothers who dont realise there doin it flirt with men/boys who come round makes them feel better about them selves, also some mothers forget the BF only wants to see the daughter and is only talking to the mother cos he has to. Just because your BF not told his parents yet doesnt mean anything some boys/men are easily embarassed my brother lives with his girlfriend and has still not really introduced his GF to my parents men some times like to feel there always little boys.
2006-11-28 21:59:48 · answer #2 · answered by dora 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to your mother and tell her that you are still not sure of the relationship and with her being so enthusiastic about 'your' bf, you are already feeling uncomfortable and stuck. if necessary, stop talking to her for a few days and keep mum, especially when it comes to 'him'. If she insists, give her the number and tell her that she can contact the boy on her own and that you will tell him that you don't want to do anything with him. Tell her that you do not appreciate be forced and she should please give you some time to think and to bond with the boy before trying too much.
2006-11-28 21:55:12 · answer #3 · answered by Smriti 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be thankful first of all that your Mother likes him and really seems to approve! Imagine how awful if would be for you if she hated him? Does he think she's OK too? Perhaps you need to ask her to refrain from embarrassing you in front of him? How about the line - "look I'm really into this guy and it might (I repeat might) get serious. It's great you approve of him but please give us a little more space to find our feet in this relationship". I guess your Mum only wants what is best for you and is welcoming him into the family and making him feel comfortable. Limited how often you let them meet and explain to her why. Good luck.
2006-11-28 21:49:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your situation is that you threaten to go away and then by no ability do. Your threats and demands for him to provide up are empty. he's no longer taking you heavily, yet i imagine you want to take a extra severe step than empty threats with the intention to get this to provide up. and do not play the possibility free sufferer right here. You knew finished properly what you've been shifting into once you married this guy. purely because you placed a hoop on his finger did not advise this can provide up. in case you idea it would, you've been fooling your self. Your husband has an addiction...and he needs help for it. There are counseling communities and places he can bypass to to get help. Parental controls on the internet and passworded computers are literally not the answer. He needs professional help. What you want to pick is in case you truly pick to be in this marriage or no longer? do you pick to adhere by him and help him get extra useful? Is he even keen to modify? Or, have you ever already had adequate and also you're waiting to hit the line? there is not any perfect or incorrect answer right here, and that i'm sensible no human being would fault you for leaving a guy who's addicted to porn, if it really is what you pick to do. in my opinion, if my husband were keen to make a dedication to getting extra useful, i'd stick by him and help him artwork by it. If, although, he wasn't fascinated in fixing issues, or became denying he had a situation, i do not comprehend if i'd stay. It appears like your hubby acknowledges he has a situation, and that i'd initiate searching into rehab for this....on your courting's sake. He needs to keep in mind that you're severe once you assert, we favor to fix this mutually, or i'm lengthy gone. And once you assert that, you would possibly want to point it and stand by it. otherwise, you're perfect decrease back the position you began again.
2016-11-29 22:20:47 · answer #5 · answered by cottom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep, I would kill her and hide the body. Cement shoes are a good anchor should she decide to spend her retirement years out to sea.
Not really recommending anything that extreme, unless of course you like prison. But definitely let her know how you are feeling. When she asks you to act innapropriately, be firm and do what is appreopriate for your self.
2006-11-28 21:56:03 · answer #6 · answered by Brian M 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your mother is engaging in an extremely immature sort of competition with you. Maybe she needs to feel like she could "get" this guy for herself in order to boost her sagging self esteem. She is certainly not acting like a caring mother. As for her wanting this guy for a son-in-law, that is a lie she tells you to keep you from catching onto the truth. I would seriously limit my contact with her. Oh yes, and next time you see your guy, ask: "So, when are you taking me round to meet your family?"
2006-11-28 21:53:08 · answer #7 · answered by Liz 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is your mam single and how old is she?? it sounds to me shes trying to be part of your life ie be the hip cool mother that wants to be liked by you and your friends etc, it also sounds as if shes looking for attention. why not sit her down and explain that at this time it is not serious and if and when you are ready to do all these things you will let her know and you appreciate what shes trying to do but you would rather she didnt.
2006-11-28 21:53:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you dont know why, maybe ask her why she likes him so much. Maybe he reminds her of a boy she used to like or date? it sounds like maybe she is living vicariously through you.
i think if i were you,i would just let her have her fun. I mean, what will it hurt really...if that guy is turned off from you because your mom is being super nice to him!, then he is a jerk anyways!
If anything, he should be flattered by her attention. Ya know.
I mean, what if his Dad was being that nice to you! Wouldnt you blush! I think your mom is cute, cut her some slack!
2006-11-28 21:53:43 · answer #9 · answered by EAT! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Woaaaa, does your mum fancy him??? I wouldn't ever bring my girlfriend round to my mothers (we live in our own house now) if she did any of them things. It would really aggrevate me and I would end up moving away for good with no way her knowing how to get in contact. New mobile no's etc.!!!!! Tell her what's on your mind though and don't let it bubble up. Good Luck
2006-11-28 21:53:07 · answer #10 · answered by phobzy85 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋