ok, here's the deal. me and my flatmates at uni are looking for student houses for next year, but we don't want to live with a girl who lives with us now (for various reasons).
How do we tell her, or do we not tell her and just endure it next year?
2006-11-28 21:35:46 · 27 answers · asked by chris b 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
thanks for all the answers everyone.
but i'll elaborate a bit...
there is seven of us who dont want to live with her next year, and we're looking for a big house. (its not like she's a third wheel in a relationship or anything)
also, she's on my course at uni, where i see her every day anyway (and i don't know of anyone with who she's close enough to live with next year). if she takes it the wrong way, am i going to get the backlash?
2006-11-28 21:56:13 · update #1
treat her to a weekend break and include a free scuba diving lesson ..leave the rest up to me
2006-11-28 21:39:43 · answer #1 · answered by AnswerGeek 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You could write her a note. Be very sensitive how you say it. She must not feel unwanted nor abandoned. Writing her a note allows her time to cope with whatever feelings come up for her. Include the idea that she will also find increase her pool of friends if she found others to room with. Mention that this is not the end of your friendship with her. There will always be opportunities to lunch or do some activity together.
This is the adult thing to do. If she senses you are treating her like a friend, even if you're not going to be living toether again, she will likely learn to see her situation differently too.
2006-11-28 21:49:40 · answer #2 · answered by thru a glass darkly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on the reasons you don't want to live with her...
If she's been stealing from you, eating your food, waking you up at stupid hours, leaving the flat looking (and smelling) like something off "How clean is your house?" or playing Cliff Richard records then I'm sure it's perfectly fine to be honest... although maybe in future you may want to tackle these issues as they occur. People can change... sometimes, especially when their home is on the line.
However if it's just because you've all shagged her and now find the situation socially awkward a little white lie wouldn't go astray, something along the lines of "I can't concentrate on my course because of my infatuation for you... I must finish my media studies course, I promised my dear white haired grandma as she lay on her deathbed. Adieu, my love..." Or something...
I really need details if you want me to answer this question seriously, but please remember we all have feelings, even housemates from hell : )
2006-11-28 21:54:26 · answer #3 · answered by Bunny Feet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about saying you have found some wonderful two bedroom places and that three bedrooms are more difficult to find - therefore sorry but... However, many of you there are say that's the amount of bedrooms you've found and you're sorry but there isn't anything for her? It's bound to be difficult but if you don't want to share with her it's better to say it now than end up living with her out of pity or because you've not said anything before! Good luck - if you all stick together it won't be too bad.
2006-11-28 21:41:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends - do you like her? Do you care if her feelings are hurt?
Just say that you're all going your seperate ways. If she asks if she can join in with you, say you've sort of promised it to someone else. Keep it without getting emotional and maybe you'll still be friends years later on.
2006-11-28 21:45:19 · answer #5 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U will never know what shes like until u actually live with her. If you think about it, she might just turn out to be a good friend of yours.
2006-11-28 22:49:44 · answer #6 · answered by ohimherenow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well be honest with her, maybe she will snap and not do what she's doing anymore. If there was a love connection be the man tell her the deal. if she doesn't straighten up your out of there. HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY
2006-11-28 21:42:59 · answer #7 · answered by Double D's 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be much kinder to tell her now than to go through living with her again - its possible that it could come out while you are living with her and it would be quite hurtful.
The truth hurts to start with, but I think it needs to come out.
Good luck!
2006-11-28 21:39:27 · answer #8 · answered by Lupee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey! Why do u think of letting anyone u dislike bother your time?? I mean, yo..hoo..lets be honest!! Just tell her plainly and simply about your desire...but plz make it gentle..I mean, if she loves staying with u, it will hurt her..but u don't wanna live with her, right?? lets face the truth and tell her...( I know that it will be a little hard for you...but you know what?? it's worth a try..)
Good Luck!!
2006-11-28 21:44:37 · answer #9 · answered by Blue P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her straight, there's nothing worse than friends betraying you. You could be sneaky and tell her there ain't enough for the (however many there are of us) but that's evil...!!! Just let her know how you feel she will get the point.
2006-11-28 21:38:42 · answer #10 · answered by phobzy85 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best thing is to be honest with her.
Tell her why you don,t want her to move in with you.
If you lie to her no matter how long it takes you always get found out
2006-11-28 21:43:05 · answer #11 · answered by GEORGINA B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋