Threesomes, how has it changed things?

Question

I have read other topics on the subject of threesomes. A lot of people talk about religious views, other spirits joining the mix, and "I'd never do it." kind of answers. Well I want to hear a couple of honest and experienced answers. Answer only if you've had a threesome or know someone who has had one.
How has a threesome effected your relationship? Was it positive or negative? How long were you together or married before doing this and would you do it again? What was the relationship like before the threesome? Secure? On the Rocks? In need of more spice?

Just curious. If you've never had one and don't know anybody who has, those answers are of no value to me. Religious or moral views aside, after the experience, how did it change things?

Answer 1

How has a threesome effected our relationship?

Positively. It has made it even better. Swinging (threesomes are technically swinging) has brought into our life a level of honesty, trust, and communication that many never achieve in their relationships. We don't have to hide anything from each other for fear of them being judgemental. If you can talk openly about wanting to have sex with someone else, imagine how easy it is to talk about money issues, kid issues, etc.

Also, removing sex as a possible point of jealousy from our relationship has emphasized what really makes a relationship work. For us, sex does not equal love. Everything else that makes you like each other when your not having hot, steamy sex is what makes a couple stay together or split-up. Swinging clearly defined these aspects of our relationship.

We are like two teenagers in love. We constantly talk, hold hands, kiss, touch, text message each other at work all day, giggle, laugh. We do everything together and hate to be apart. We've even started car pooling back and forth to work to be together more.


How long were we married before doing this?

We were together six years and married four of them before we started swinging. We actually started with couples and than had threesomes with singles later.


Would we do it again?

We still do. All the time. Threesomes and foursomes.


What was our relationship like before we started swinging?

Solid. Very secure. We both knew that just because we have sex with someone else, and enjoy it, that we we're going to leave each other for them. Again, for us, sex does not equal love. Sex equals sex.

Sex between us was great before, and it got even better after. It wasn't to add spice to our relationship, we got into it to fulfill fantasies we both had that required more than two people to do.

We both were able to unjudgementally communicate those fantasies to each other. We were secure enough in each other and our relationship that we weren't afraid expressing our fantasies would offend or hurt the other. We both understood that lusting after someone else sexually has nothing to do with loving each other and wanting to spend the rest of our life together.

I hope this helped answer your question.

Answer 2

I haven't because I have never shared well. Not interested.

Don't do it if you are in love. Everyone I know who has had a threesome broke up. It just goes against human nature and jealousy tears everything to pieces. If it is a casual thing and you don't mind that you will break up, that's fine. It will change everything. Permanently.

Plus, the girls always feel ignored. Or at least one of them does if it's 2 girls one guy.

Answer 3

I had a threesome with 2 of my terrific acquaintances (one a male and one a woman). i'm nevertheless close acquaintances with the two one in all them, even nevertheless all 3 individuals are married now (to individuals haha). we've not observed that night in a protracted time, and there relatively isn't any reason to. i will in no way in no way have a threesome with my husband. His penis will in no way go away this relationship. Nor will my vagina. different than to the physician. Haha.

Answer 4

I actually know a couple that began having threesomes on a regular basis. They brought both men and women into the bedroom with them.
They ended up divorced because the wife decided she was a lesbian. She kept sneaking around seeing females behind his back.

It was really sad because they have 4 children.

Ummmm....the reason I know all this is because they once asked me join them and the wife spilled all the details. I said NO.

Answer 5

My wife and I have had a few. Always only when our relationship was at its strongest, and it helped our relationship to grow stronger. Once my wife was really depressed and tried to push for one when our relationship wasn't at its strongest, but I turned it down, and I think that also strengthened our relationship. I think that a good relationship with both people focused more on the relationship than on each other or themselves can grow stronger through almost anything.

But our first threesome did change our relationship a lot. It will always change it. Never doubt that. For one thing, there are things I could never do before that, such as watch my wife enjoy being touched. I was able to watch how her girlfriend touched her and kissed her, and how my wife respnded. It's different than being told. And my wife saw the same thing. In the passion of making love, my wife and I sometimes loose track of ourselves and it's easy to get what we call "accedently selfish" or "accedently selfless." "Accedently selfish" goes something like this: you loose track of yourself, you feel like you're one being with your lover, so it feels good for you, so it must feel good for them...... oh, you're not satisfied? "Accedently selfless" goes the opposite way. You get lost, and you hear the moaning and the passion of your lover it must feel so good..... you fell asleep! I wasn't done yet! But with a third there, my wife and I were able to get lost in each other, to work as a team with the other girl, and when she or one of us was exausted, it didn't mean the fun had to stop. And watching the "action" would excite the person who had dropped out, and they could rejoin after they had recovered. By the end of it, we were always all three totally exausted. But we're all human. You sometimes loose track of which of your extra lovers is which, meaning you do something to the third that only your mate likes, or find something that the third likes that your mate doesn't. There is also a tendency to compare... maybe the third has larger breasts, or smoother skin, or harder muscles, or a bigger.... or a tighter.... And there's the always wondering how you "really" compare. You know your lover compared, and he/she said you are better, but, are you? Or maybe your lover doesn't think in terms of "better" or "worse," but how are you different? I've known a few couples where the man picked a different girl or the girl picked a different guy, and that always led to disaster, because you always wonder why that person was chosen. For my wife and I, though, the biggest change was we learned to cooperate in bed. After that, making love to each other was almost like making love to new people. For some couples, one or both try to use the situation to manipulate the relationship, which is bad.

Answer 6

Did it except, it wasn't with my current lover and I was the odd one in the mix. It was weird and a much better fantasy than realitiy. The couple wasn't married or anything and broke up right afterwards and I stopped talking to them because I didn't like 'em much to begin with! It would never do this as a married couple though. I could only foresee problems, but if you want to try it, that's your choice. Just be prepared.

Answer 7

It did change things, I never thought it would! I thought I'd be pretty cool about it, and I really wanted it to happen. Looking back though, that was where things started to go wrong for us. Jealousy, doubt, suspicion.......it all started from that night. If I could take that night back, I would.
I know it works well for some, but for me, it was the beginning of the end.
Think twice before you go there, I was certain it would be okay, but it wasn't.

Answer 8

We have done it, Altho it was alot of fun, It did change our relationship, I believe it was what caused my hubby to go out and have an affair..Having a 3-some and then going thru a midlife crisis, wow what a trip that was..If i could do it all over again i probably wouldn't do it, But it was my fantasy, not his..Worked thru it took alot of time and re-building trust ect ect..secretly i would like to do it again, but scared as hell..so it will not happened ever again..

Answer 9

The threesome thing is a bad idea, your relationship will deteriorate. This is only a basis for sex, not love, not to mention STD's .

Answer 10

I had this experience back in the 80's. My husband and I were very experimental. It did not work well. In fact, I am sure it helped lead to our divorce. It does something to you to see the one you love being intimate with someone else.

Don't go there.