My ex-girlfriend and I had a very bad break up! We were together for 9years, and had two beautiful girls. I was always there for my kids giving them whatever they wanted, spending time with them, and never missing a day telling them I love them! My ex is a very materialistic person! She loves the expensive cars and things the average person can't buy. She works at a convience store for the past 11years, and at 29 still lives with her mom in a run down trailor, but she drives a $32,000 '06 nissan altima 3.5! I'm orderd to pay her $937 a month, and never got a chance to say a word in court! I have visitation every other weekend, but she rarely even lets me see them then. She even took my name off the books at thier school so I can't see them because she hates me so much. She blows every dime of the money I give her, and my kids walk around looking very nasty! I simply can't understand why the system sees every man as a bad father, and would let her get away with this! Can anyone help me?
2006-11-28 20:50:58 · 11 answers · asked by babyshaq99 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
My only advice for your precarious situation is this....get a Lawyer pronto.
2006-11-28 20:53:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Of course fathers have rights. You don't say what state issued the child support order, but in most states the amount of the child support obligation is determined by simply plugging the mother's gross income and the father's gross income into a formula. The formula might also include amounts incurred for child care and for health insurance to cover the children. There are fathers who have custody of their children, and in those cases the application of the formula remains the same, i.e. the mother pays child support.
You don't say what your income is, but is undoubtedly substantial if you are ordered to pay $937 per month. Do you expect that someone can offer you an opinion as to whether $937 is excessive if you do not even mention what your income is?
You also do not say whether you contested custody or whether it was agreed on. If you agreed for the mother to have custody, then you agreed to pay child support.
You say you never got a chance to say a word in court. Was that because the judge refused to let you say anything, or because your attorney decided you should stay quiet? My guess, reading between the lines in your question, is that your attorney decided (correctly) that you would do yourself more harm than good by speaking up.
You also say that the mother rareley lets you see the children. If that's the case, and she cannot show a convincing reason for denying you visitation, then she can be held in contempt of court -- for which she could go to jail and even lose custody.
The fact that the courts do not consider assets when setting child support, and the fact that the courts do not tell the child support recipient how to spend the money are legitimate issues to question. There is some measure of unfairness in both of those procedures, but those issues have been argued to death and no consistently fair way to approach either issue has ever been found.
I suspect that you have already been fully advised on all the things I am telling you, and that you already know the answers. If you have paid any attention at all, you know that you have some rights as your children's father. The next time you are given legal advice, focus on listening rather than whining, and you will begin to understand your rights.
2006-11-28 21:23:08 · answer #2 · answered by Harpeau 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
If the youngster is biologically his then he might want to might want to pay. that's unlucky that he did not study the youngster previously. i'd recommend getting an lawyer and a paternity attempt. If that's shown the youngster is his, then he must have the lawyer request visitation. baby help and visitation are 2 completely separate topics dealt with interior a similar court room. although, in the adventure that your husband will be a reliable father to this baby and is biologically the dad, then I see no clarification why he doesn't have the right to have visitation with the youngster.
2016-11-29 22:17:19 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Document EVERYTHING! Get pictures of the kids when they are "nasty". Get proof of her ownership of the car she drives, if possible. Get a lawyer and fight her on behalf of these children. If you want custody of them, you must fight for it. If you want your visitation enforced, fight for that. Keep a written record of your visits, date - time - if she refused you, etc. Talk to Child Support Enforcement. Some states allow purchases of clothing, shoes, medical and dental to be counted as part of your support payments. This does not mean you can give her no cash. Child Support is for "the care and maintenance" of the child/children. This includes rent, utilities, food and such. As for the amount of the support payments, they should be based on your pre-tax income. Also, the reason for proving she owns the car is simple...who is making the huge payments and covering the insurance costs? The money comes from somewhere and if she doesn't make enough to cover it and her needs, there is your proof that she seems to be using the child support. Good Luck.
2006-11-28 21:27:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Go back to court and tell them the days she won't let you see them. Also tell them that you are their parent and want to be the emergency number w/ the school. You have the first right to be the "babysitter" when she needs one. I would take pictures of the kids when they look nasty to show the court she isn't providing for them. Also find out if they're going to dr and dentist what they're eating and so forth
2006-11-28 20:55:54 · answer #5 · answered by uknowme 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Speak to your child support office and ask them, if you pay for clothing, shoes, school fees, excursions or something the children need, if you provide the receipts, will they give you a credit on the amount you need to pay. This way, you know the children are seeing the benefits.......not the ex! Good luck buddy
2006-11-28 20:56:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If the courts gave you visitation rights you can take her to court over it. Get a good lawyer, the courts have been taking a better view of fathers rights in the last few years.
Good luck.
2006-11-28 20:55:37 · answer #7 · answered by jjbeard926 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
The only rights you have are what the judge gives you. Talk to that ex-***** of yours and tell her for the sake of your love for your children, to reconsider her conditions and to be more lenient with you.
You take away "REASON" & " ACCOUNTABILITY" from a MAN and what you have left is a WOMAN
Provide the judge proof of income and he can only order you to pay a percentage based on that income.
2006-11-28 20:57:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
you might have fared better IF you had been married but since you are irresponsible, you prob deserve what you are getting now...karma is the great equalizer......IF your kids are really not getting the money, get a lawyer and go back to court. you can point out the car and the home and the kids clothes and straighten yourself out and try to get custody.
2006-11-28 20:57:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋
Sue for custody.
2006-11-28 21:42:52 · answer #10 · answered by Liz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋