Marital infidelity?

Question

My husband once told me that if I would ever cheat on him he would leave and take our two kids with him, and that he would get full custody.
Not that I'm planning on cheating, but it doesn't seem logical that courts would grant one parent full custody of the children if the other parent caused the breakdown of the marriage by infidelity.
Why would cheating on my husband mean that I would be a bad parent to my kids? Can the courts really take away kids for that reason? Or was my husband just trying to scare me?

Answer 1

Infidelity is not condered a significant factor in most cusdtody hearings. And most courts automatically lean towards the mother, because traditionally, the woman is more nurturing, therefore better as the caregiver. And the father traditionally the better bread winner, there for better as the one to be expected to give child support.

If my brother ever divorces his wife, I hope he gets a judge who isn't too quick to make such assumptions. He is a very nurturing man, while the mother leaves 90% of all domestic work (including bathing the children) to him (whether he has a full time job or not) He has difficulty keeping a job but she usually manages to stay employed.

Answer 2

I would check with a lawyer but as far as I am aware Marital Infidelity is not grounds for being declared an unfit parent.

Since my answer was opposite the first poster I did another search and found this answer:

In the end the courts must be assured that its decision will result in the child being properly cared for, healthfully maintained, morally and academically educated and fundamentally kept safe so that he or she is protected and ideally becomes a well-reared, productive citizen.

To take custody . . . He would typically have to have some evidence that you are an unfit parent, your are incapable or incompetent, that you are a danger to yourself or others or that he is the more desirable choice of the two of you to have custody of the child.

“Can your husband take your child away?”
You bet. It happens all the time. If the two of you are still together (you have not filed any papers with the court indicating otherwise) your husband has as much right to access the child as you do and he can, at his discretion, take the child anywhere he wants to with absolute legal authority.

The rest can be found in the link.

Answer 3

technically adultery refers to the actual act of sex -- but the things you mention will likely lead there unless someone takes control Easton: Adultery - conjugal infidelity. An adulterer was a man who had illicit intercourse with a married or a betrothed woman, and such a woman was an adulteress. Intercourse between a married man and an unmarried woman was fornication. Adultery was regarded as a great social wrong, as well as a great sin. The Mosaic law (Num. 5:11-31) prescribed that the suspected wife should be tried by the ordeal of the "water of jealousy." There is, however, no recorded instance of the application of this law. In subsequent times the Rabbis made various regulations with the view of discovering the guilty party, and of bringing about a divorce. It has been inferred from John 8:1-11 that this sin became very common during the age preceding the destruction of Jerusalem. Idolatry, covetousness, and apostasy are spoken of as adultery spiritually (Jer. 3:6, 8, 9; Ezek. 16:32; Hos. 1:2:3; Rev. 2:22). An apostate church is an adulteress (Isa. 1:21; Ezek. 23:4, 7, 37), and the Jews are styled "an adulterous generation" (Matt. 12:39). (Comp. Rev. 12.)

Answer 4

What does a court consider in deciding custody disputes?

"The court shall determine custody or residency of a child in accordance with the best interests of the child."

The court focuses almost entirely on the best interest of the child. Other factors, such as convenience of the parents, fault, and infidelity matter only if they affect the child’s interests.

In determining the issue of child custody, residency and parenting time, the court shall consider all relevant factors, including but not limited to:

(i) The length of time that the child has been under the actual care and control of any person other than a parent and the circumstances relating thereto;

(ii) the desires of the child’s parents as to custody or residency;

(iii) the desires of the child as to the child’s custody or residency;

(iv) the interaction and interrelationship of the child with parents, sibling and any other person who may significantly affect the child’s best interests;

(v) the child’s adjustment to the child’s home, school and community;

(vi) the willingness and ability of each parent to respect and appreciate the bond between the child and the other parent and to allow for a continuing relationship between the child and the other parent; and

(vii) evidence of spousal abuse.

Answer 5

It depends on how much money he has to get a good lawyer....but generally speaking, the courts are reluctant to take custody away from the mother. But that isn't always the case.....If you want a divorce, get one...don't cheat..good luck

Answer 6

If you live in a no fault state, legally it shouldn't matter. If you get a judge who had a wife that cheated on him, legally it wouldn't matter, and you would probably lose. Why would you take the chance? Divorce him, and sleep with whomever you want, and defiantly not in front of the kids. Sex isn't that great if you have consequences that would worry you.

Answer 7

A man / woman can get custody of kids if their determination and legal funds hold out , no matter what the cause of separation !

Answer 8

no he is just trying to scary you , in most cases the courts give the kids to the mother

Answer 9

AS A FATHER WITH JOINT CUSTODY BECAUSE OF A CHEATING WIFE,,, HE WILL HAVE A HELL OF A TIME IN ILLINOIS GETTING FULL CUSTODY. IT JUST IS NOT THAT EASY...TELL HIM TO GROW UP AND GET OFF HIS HIGH HORSE....

Answer 10

lol trying to use scare tactics with you but if he really trusted you he wouldn't say something like this and if you truly weren't thinking of cheating then you wouldn't ask a question like this.