How much affect does death have on a child?

Question

When i was 5 or so,a car swerved off the rd and a mother and her little son were run down infront of me,the car landed near my feet Ithen again at age 11/12 a girl from school was run down and I had to indentify her body/face because we had the same uniform on and i was the only one nearby it was horrific to look at and still haunts me.

How much affect does death like that have on your life?


I was afraid to cross the rd for awhile still am often, I also hate cars and have never driven in my life.

Answer 1

When I was 6 my mother died and I was the one who found her body and she was in the bathtub when she dies. And until I was about 16 I was scared to take baths, so I'd only take showers and quick ones so I wouldn't have to be in the bathroom for a long time. And I wouldn't look into the bathroom if I was walking by and the door was open, I'd always avoid going near it and would look away. So, yea, seeing death as a child effects you very deeply and if it's horrific enough and a stage where you can somewhat understand death, it will effect you very deeply.

Answer 2

I think death effects children based on age, closeness to person who died or how/see the person die. A very young child doesnt understand death so much but if they see a violent act it will stay with them. A child looses an aunt or uncle or someone they do not really know its not so bad as loosing a parent or a grandparent. I believe if a person is killed or has a fatal accendent in front of a child it can have a long lasting tramatic effect on a child that instills deep seeded fears that they might not even know what caused them if they are young enough that they dont remember the act itself. Sorry that you had to see so much death in a very short time and so young. Have you ever talked to anyone professional about how it affected your life and thoughts? It could help get rid of some of the pent up fear to talk about it more or maybe write a journal or something??

Answer 3

Have you been diagnosed with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)?
If you have, then you know that witnessing such tragedy will have a huge impact on your life, especially if you have not yet dealt with it, through a counsellor, or therapist. If you haven't seen any professional about this, then you should do so, immediately.
I was diagnosed with having PTSD several years ago, and it took me years to actually discover that this was what was causing me such disturbances in my sleep pattern, nightmares and phobias.
I had watched my mother die, in front of me, when I was 23, as she had complications of her alcoholism. It was a terrible suffering she went through, before she passed away. I quit drinking after that. Exactly a year later, I watched my grandfather die of a heartattack, and I was right there, holding him when he took his last breath. I had seen several of my relatives die, that were alcohol-related, and I had seen numerous other tragedies that I'm still dealing with.
The only advice I have to offer is that you seek professional help, just to get those issues on the table and start healing from them.
And just knowing that you were not the cause of any of those tragedies will help you get through this, as well as having the emotional support of family and friends, who can be there for you, when you need them.
In your struggles, it's good to voice what you're going through, and not hold it in. You can't bottle your feelings up, even if it's re-living what you went through.
What you went through was terrible, and I feel for you. I know that you must be going through a hard time, in your life, to have to remember these incidents, and may have a lot of questions. These kinds of things that happen to someone may have a meaning and a purpose, too. Everything happens for a reason, and yours may be just to be more aware of your surroundings and take note that you are alive, healthy and stronger.
You WILL heal from this, though. It does take time, however, you need to seek professional guidance, from a therapist or counsellor, who can give you some great tools to work with, so you can mend those wounds, and begin the healing process.

Answer 4

I've seen several people die in front of me. First one when I was 12. It's an uglier story than I care to relate here, and I was very close to the person. Suffice it to say it was not an accident nor an illness that took her.

I think it might have had something to do with me being fatalistic, cynical, constantly conscious of my own mortality, reckless (SCREW IT, gonna die of SOMETHING!), and have a lack of ability to defer gratification for most of my life. I never sought any help for it. Never believed there was any available. Might have been wrong about that, but who knows?

But I'm working on changing what I am/was now. Living that way didn't bring me happiness in the long term. Lotta scars and broken bones and wrecked marriages is all I have to show for it.

Answer 5

Unfortunately, we have all witnessed events that don't let us go. The constant torment is unbearable and the fear overtakes you, if you let it. The dreams the visions and the memory. Its truly chilling. My best wishes go out to you as its not an easy thing.
Women in my family have witnessed such events and I know what you go through.

Answer 6

that's deeper than death. That's violent. If it still bothers you so much you should talk to a therapist. death happens to everyone and we're all affected by it but it doesn't stop us from loving and experiencing life.