I met this new guy in the school and im crazy about him but i have my B/F and i cant find the moment to tell him that im moving out... should i tell him just like that or sould i wait until we have another fight and tell him?
2006-11-28 19:42:55 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
i still very confused....Craiova answer sounds good but i know its not the best way... please keep answering
2006-11-28 19:59:17 · update #1
You should give him the same exact respect you would want him to give you...but I have a feeling you have already gone beyond where that line is with you.
Sit down with him. Tell him how much he has meant to you, but that you have changed and he doesn't mean that anymore. Be honest, the worst thing you can do to yourself is lie.
I would caution you on one thing though-the new relationship is always going to seem exciting-at first. Then it becomes just another relationship. Don't keep the current guy hanging on while you find that out. Since you betrayed his feelings, it is better for him if you move out now and be honest with him.
I am not judging you harsly, it just sounds that way. I have been on BOTH sides of this arguement so I know what you are feeling and I know what he is going to go through.
Just be a good person about it, as good as you can anyway.
2006-11-28 19:47:57 · answer #1 · answered by Star 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sorry, but I agree with those that say, NOT in a fight...cheap shot! Chances are very good that he feels the same about you, may already have a replacement on hand. Rarely is this that one sided. Be a man, tell him it is not working for you and you are leaving. There is little he can, or will say. And, like I said, he may have been waiting for the next fight also.
Seems that we all are "so concerned" about the others feelings ONLY when we are about to deliver a very nasty blow. If you were really concerned about his feelings, you wouldn't have gone looking elsewhere, but you did....so I suspect it was not going to work out in the long run anyway. Cut both your losses and move on. NOW. He deserves the truth, and you do too. And please, don't go speaking for him. Do not tell him it is for his own good, that he deserves better, etc. Just say "it was grand for a while, but it ain't so grand now. And walk. Straight forward, short, to the point, final, no room for disucussion. Go for it now. Good luck
2006-11-29 11:27:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you are going through. I have dealt with it before myself. In my situation I told my ex that we needed to talk. During our little talk I told him that things were not working out between the two of us and that I thought we should start seeing other people. He didnt like it to much but as time went on we both were able to move on. One thing I can say is that we are still good freidns to this day and he is probley one of my best freinds and when I have a problem with my current boyfriend my ex helps me we can talk about anything. So I guess my recomendation is for you to just tell him how things are and hope for the best like I have been able to recieve.
2006-11-30 17:57:20 · answer #3 · answered by Christopher S 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're being dishonest and calculating if you wait for the fight as an "opportunity" to tell him. What a cheap excuse, and a sorry state of a person that you are. Will you keep doing the same for each new guy you get tired of? And then move on to the next new tight hole...
2006-11-28 20:58:05 · answer #4 · answered by . 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Breaking up in the middle of a fight creates confusion for the other person. He's going to feel like it's his fault. He will get much more hurt this way.
It's better to say sit him down and tell him that the relationship is not working for you and you want to see other people, don't tell him you already know who you want to see. If you care about him this is the way to do it, it's harder but kinder. Breaking up is not easy, people think it is because the person doing the breaking up is ready for it, but in truth it's ahuge responsibility.
2006-11-28 20:09:45 · answer #5 · answered by vampire_kitti 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
that depends on your relationship, if he's a decent fair man ( he must be you stayed 4 years) you owe it to him to sit down and be honest with him. at least give him that closure. do not pretend he drove you out and blame him during a fight. that is cowardly and dishonest. perhaps you should take some time to think this thru. maybe you're just bored and this new guy is exciting. are you really able to throw away four years for a maybe. whatever you deicde honesty is the best policy............ps until you're broke up you should not be dating the new guy, eventually he'll question whether you're cheating because you cheated with him.
2006-11-28 21:42:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you are moving far away then you should have a talk with him and tell him what may happen, if he is a good friend he will be happy for you. If your gonna move close by, then tell him that and promise your gonna kepp in touch and that his friendship means something to you and you would never try to break it apart
2006-11-29 03:06:05 · answer #7 · answered by Scott 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seems you would prefer to take the most controversial way out.
(Me, I would say, sorry, you no longer rock my world)
But for you, you must not want to hurt his feelings, well, he is going to hurt anyway but if you need to move on, then move on.
Dear John letters also are harsh but effective.. You move while he is out. leaving a letter stating that you have moved. and etc...
The psycholoical impact of any break up is harsh not only on you but him also. (you will have a crutch and he want, but the best way is to do it and cut the ties, so he and both of you can move on)
This is a tough question! (serious question also, I feel inadequate giving you advice, seek some professional help)
2006-11-28 21:31:51 · answer #8 · answered by southernboy 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Dont wait for a fight you give too much of an excuse for ex to come apologise etc give it to him straight out that you feel your relationship with him is not going anywhere and you are leaving to try something else.
2006-11-28 19:48:57 · answer #9 · answered by burning brightly 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
just say sweety Im a bad bf Ive found someone I like better so Iam moving,and Ill eventually find someone I like better than them and so on so spread the word Iam a bad bf. (then walk out)
he want know whether to laugh cry or commit an act of rage,and madness so you might want to run. lol
2006-11-28 22:20:02 · answer #10 · answered by boutgivup 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋