He has looked at gay porn for years, worn my undergarments without me knowing a few times, and has thoughts of being with men. He says they never have a face in his fantasies and that it's just taboo and turns him on. He also said that in his fantasies he wanted his partner to be domenet to him. He says his never acted on his fantasies and that he wants to stay married because he wants the realtationship with a woman and his attracted to woman just the same.
2006-11-28 18:09:06 · 18 answers · asked by queenkeikei_2 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I have talked to him and he says his not in denial, but at the same time every time we talk about this he tells me more stuff.
2006-11-28 18:18:19 · update #1
His open I believe because I keep finding the porn sites and keep asking. Usually I find something like this once a year on his computer(not that I'm looking he just forgets to clear the history and I see it). We have good sex with each other he wants all the time. I've put up with the porn because I love him and was thinking maybe it's a fantasy and that's all. I just found out about the other stuff...
2006-11-28 18:24:30 · update #2
Honey sit down before reading this...oh you are!
Your husband is GAY! Flaming....SUGARY...Sorry to break it to you...
2006-11-28 18:12:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's less straight than you'd like him to be (he's not up and down 100% beef) but, if you can accommodate him and put up with his gay porn; if you don't mind him wearing some of your undergarments (buy him some of his own!) then you may find that your sex life will be all the better for it.
Only he can tell you if he's been in denial though - but he'll only be able to do that once he's no longer in it. The more accepting you are of his ways, though, the more likely you'll stick together and have a good time doing so.
All the best.
2006-11-28 21:58:55 · answer #2 · answered by unclefrunk 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I guess that he needs to have you as a curtain to cover himself in front of the society, and I believe he loves you but maybe it's not an accident, maybe he's doing this on purpose so you know what's going on. Sometimes a man need a little bit of something that a woman cannot provide and he he just simply asking for your permition. He's trying to tell you that He want to be with you but at the same time he need something. If you are willing to try you can offer him to wear a strap, or you can let him have his fantasy come truth or divorce him.And I understand, we can't have all that we want and in order to make a relationship work we have to make sacrifices. What you need to do is love him and support him no matter what decision he makes. You will be better having him as a friend than a repress, unhappy, liar and cheater husband.
2006-11-28 22:47:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it doesn't bother you ask him what you can do to be part of his fantasy or fulfill a void - use your imagination here.
I would however seek a third party, sex therapist or other qualified individual to help you through whatever it is he has going on and the affects it has on your relationship.
You can be a part of his secret but brace yourself as you never know how things could end up. If you love him, you can see him through anything as long as you do not deny your needs and feelings. Due what's right for you. Don't let it get you down... it has NOTHING to do with you!!
2006-11-28 18:22:31 · answer #4 · answered by PopcornMommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Open your mind and ask if he wants to find a male for a 3 way...Who knows you may enjoy this as well. Keep in mind that it is just for fun and nothing more...If he is into this I am sure he is out cruising the sex parks and more...go to www.cruisingforsex.com and find the sex listings and look for your area. When he disappears at night to go to "Wal Mart" or some other excuse look for him in these areas. I would rather keep him at home and make sure you both choose a 3rd that you agree on. At the same time you can make sure he is safe !
2006-11-29 00:37:20 · answer #5 · answered by Pumpkins 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG he sounds just like me, however the fantasy is newer and I believe is fueled out of boredom. Good Sex all the rest sounds the same. No he is not gay, if he isn't with another guy, and I'll go further to say once for curiosity is not gay.
2006-11-28 18:33:51 · answer #6 · answered by Brad L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah. He's at least bi. He may have never acted on it, but I bet he wants to. He probably wants to be married because he's afraid of coming out. Even if he really does want to be married, as long as he is indulging, one of these days he's gonna get sucked in and lose control. I got my husband's opinion and the first thing he said was"gross" so I'm assuming if he's completely straight, this wouldn't even be an indulgence. Is he sexual with you? Does he know any guys that he would want to be with? You might wanna take him to counseling. If he is gay, and stays with you, you both will be miserable.
2006-11-28 18:16:06 · answer #7 · answered by #1 Buckeye Fan!!!! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is possible that he is bisexual but, even if he hasn't acted on his fantasies, why have you put up with him looking at gay porn for all these years? He is married to you; he should be faithful to you.
Maybe it is your opinion that porn is OK for married men. But it is strange that he is so open with his fantasies to you.
It is almost definite he is bi; it is possible he is gay. You really need to talk to him and tell him to sort his life out a bit. Remind him that he is still married to you!!
2006-11-28 18:16:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget about defining your husband's sexuality. Think about yourself, what are you prepared to put up with in your marriage. If the shoe was on the other foot would your husband be so happy? The point is you have the right to be happy and secure in your marriage and it's great your husband is talking to you about stuff, but you have to consider how it all makes you feel. My point is his sexuality isn't the point here, it is your relationship and how you feel. Unfortunately only you can decide that!
2006-11-28 18:58:42 · answer #9 · answered by waggy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds bi to me i am a bi cd and my gf has accepted that fact. i do sress but i do not have sex outside of our relationship, even though the idea turns me on. its no different than a straight guy fantasizing about a supermodle or the cute girl at the coffee shop it is just fantasy. my gf loves me and accepts me and once in a while she fulfills my bi desire by strapping on and we have a little role reversal
2006-11-29 00:09:34 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are either married or you have a partner. This Q seems to make no sense. Have you asked this "husband" directly instead of turning to the net?
2006-11-28 18:13:31 · answer #11 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋