My boyfriend is going through a very nasty divorce. He was in the Army and deployed in Iraq for a year. He caught his wife cheating on him and she admitted it. He filed for divorce almost 2 years ago. He has a 4 year old son with her. We have been together for over a year now and she will not allow him to see his son. He had to arrange visitation through lawyers and the visits are on her terms. He has been a good father. Always paying her child support without a court order and only wanting to see his son. She made it to where I am not able to be around their son, but we live together. She calls and tells him she wants to be with him, she eggs his car, she text messages his phone, she tells her lawyer that they have sex all the time, she tells my boyfriend that her new boyfriend breaks into her house and beats her. How does one deal with someone this crazy without getting into trouble herself?
2006-11-28 17:54:39 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
document all of her crazy behavior, take pictures, find out the law in your state for recording phone calls, by all means find some legal person to talk to from child protective services, sounds like she may have a mental defect going on and that child should not be used as a pawn in her sick game. If you truly love this man, do all you can to support him, seems like he needs it. It is NEVER safe dealing with someone so out of control as to lie and use her child in such a way. The boy needs his father and she should know that too. She sounds very insecure. I will pray for your family. We may have a slow legal system, but, it's all we have, I know from personal experience. Good luck, and by all means never stoop to her level, you are better than that.
2006-11-28 18:13:10 · answer #1 · answered by lucysmom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Record every little thing she does that displays mentual behavor, and when she eggs his car or whatever she does, do a police report, get her name on file. Then tell the court she is an un-fit mother do to mentual health and behavor, or say she isnt mature enough to handle a child. It may be harsh but im sure that with your boyfriend paying child support without a court order tells them he loves his son very much and is a fit father to let him see his son. Get a lawyers advice about this too. If your boyfriend wants solo right to his son. This will be the best way.
My mom was the same way and now my father did things like this to have me and my sister life with him, and it worked ..
it all depends on what your boyfriend wants to do, like i said get a lawyers advice about this to get a professional opinion and ideas
2006-11-29 14:16:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My cousin had a similar problem. His ex- called police and him, withheld visitation, lied to police, lied in court. His ex got married and now has sole custody. His daughter told him she didn't want to see him anymore. It was a painful thing to watch him go through. Since he is a good father the best thing I can say is to do your best to stick it out. Be there for him and convince him to do everything he can to be a good father for his son. His son will need him, especially in the future.
I have a 5 year old son myself and I cannot imagine losing him. Just try your best, be there for him and make sure he retains the best lawyer he can afford.
Good Luck with everything.
2006-11-28 18:02:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should start recording everything she is doing. She is tormenting him and it will continue. When women get that insane on an emotional issue it gets worse. The court needs to know what type of immature woman she really is because their son does not need to be around witnessing all of it.
If your boyfriend can afford it have him hire a private detective in assisting to record some of the ILL behavior of his ex-wife to bring to the court.
Good hunting to you, use this time wisely as he will have a very strong case for the custady of his son!
2006-11-28 18:18:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best thing to do is document EVERYTHING!!
Journals are the best thing to submit as evidence in any court case. Get an in-line phone tape recorder.... don't let her call your cell phones,, Document those Text messages,,,
Then make your move to gain sole custody.
As for paying the child support,,,,,,,Keep ALL RECORDS!!! Pay it by Check,, NEVER GIVE CASH,, it can be considered gift and not child support.
As for dealing with her,,,,,,,,,Patience!!
What goes around comes around..
One day you will have her by the balls!
2006-11-28 18:38:26 · answer #5 · answered by kitkatish1962 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds very volatile. I would steer clear of her and let your boyfriend's lawyer deal with her as much as possible. Are you sure your bf is being completely honest about everything? If so, there isn't much you can do except be supportive of him and try not to contribute to the drama that his ex seems to thrive on. It sounds like he needs to speak with a judge asap and fill them in on the current situation and have his ex-wife mentally evaluated as she can't be good for the child. Hang in there and good luck.
2006-11-28 18:11:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
"How do you deal?"........You (as in yourself) Don't, and if you do you could be causing more harm then good, if its stated for you not to be around THEIR son, then deal with that. Shes waiting for you or her ex-hubby to make a wrong move. It has nothing to do with you, its about the child, and you may call the ex-wife "psycho" but she obviously had a good enough reason to have it stipulated for limited visitation and not to have certain individuals be around their son?
2006-11-28 19:21:32 · answer #7 · answered by Skinz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am going though a divorce myself which started out clean and civil, however now she has her family calling and threatening me. First and foremost call the cops and file a police report and save the report number. Make sure you save all the threatening messages she has sent you and document any additional threats she makes. Call the cops again and give them your report number and add the additional threats to it. Eventually you should have enough to take action. Video evidence is the best tool however may not be possible. The cop I spoke with recommended that if the person calls back to make another threat, simply tell them you have already filed a police report and kindly ask them to leave you alone. Believe me I know it sucks. In my case she has decided to make up lies to her family. So they call me threatening me.
2016-05-23 01:13:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
record everything she does, every call she makes to your house, every text message, take pictures of any eggs on the car EVERYTHING!! then give it to your lawyer. Tell your lawyer what is going on and what can be done to stop it.
2006-11-28 17:59:14 · answer #9 · answered by Danielle 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
IGNORE HER, AND STAY OUT OF IT. THIS IS HIS MESS, AND HE HAS TO DEAL WITH IT. YOU ARE JUST A GIRLFRIEND (SORRY), BUT WHAT MATTERS HERE IS THE KID. IF I WERE YOU I WOULD GIVE HIM SOME ROOM. SHE IS GOING TO MAKE HIS AND YOUR LIFE IMPOSSIBLE. SHE IS A WOMAN SCORN. MAYBE SHE THOUGHT SHE COULD MOVE ON BUT HE CAN'T. I WOULD TAKE A STEP BACK, AND LET HER GET IT OUT OF HER SYSTEM, AND THEN PICK UP WHERE YOU LEFT OFF. SHE IS STILL TRYING TO RUN HIS LIFE, AND AS LONG HAS THEY HAVE THAT SON, THEY HAVE TO DEAL WITH EACH OTHER FOR THE NEXT 14 YEARS. AND SHE IS MAD AT YOU, BECAUSE, SHE MADE A MISTAKE, AND ITS YOUR FAULT, BECUASE YOU WALKED OFF WITH WHAT SHE MISSES.
2006-11-28 18:21:48 · answer #10 · answered by Rupi G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋