I have been married for over two years. In our home it's my husband, and his parents. It's a big problem. I did not know before but my husband does not get along with his parents. Basically, they have no relationship. It started 2 years ago when they got into a fight and didn't talk to one another for 1 year. It took my in-laws 1 year to simply approach him and sit down and talk. When they did they just reminded him of what they've done for him. Forgetting that he has done so much for them too. It never got better and on top of that my MIL had the nerve to ask me to threaten my husband that I'm leaving if he doesn't talk to them. I hate her for this and our relationship went down hill from there. We live like strangers in the same house. It's uncomfortable and sometimes it really hurts. But I have realized that they are not very loving with us. They don't even say hi to us when we have come back from vacation. We need to get out but they can't survive without us! I can't do this anymo
2006-11-28 17:20:00 · 8 answers · asked by mindy25 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This seems like a terribly unhealthy situation. You need to talk to your husband and make a plan to move out and start your own life together. I know it's easier said than done, but staying with them out of obligation is not good for any of you. And with your MIL trying to start things and using you to get to her son is just outrageous. This is serious, do it for yourself and your own wellbeing. If your husband chooses not to leave with you, then he's making the choice to stay with his parents. Do you want to be married to a man who will not stand beside his wife? There's a respect issue here, among everything else. Open up the communication, and try to figure this out with him, but without your in-laws influence. Good Luck.
2006-11-28 17:54:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
mindy: Remember; YOU are married to your HUSBAND, and not to his parents ! Your MIL is a real manipulator and will ultimately, destroy the relationship between you and your husband ! Your in-laws have no functional boundaries and therefore, take it upon themselves to butt-in to your relationship. In-law problems are in the top 3 causes for marriage break ups. You and your husband need to talk and talk fast ... make a plan to separate yourselves from your husband's parents. If you don't create space ... the space created after the fact, will be with your husband and yourself. Good luck to you both, "mindy"
2006-11-29 01:34:17 · answer #2 · answered by guraqt2me 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand your situation cause I also live with my inlaw. I would recommend you that fine new place to live and also take care of them 2 in 1. Why to make your self and husband have bad feeling living with his parent. It might turn out good cause if you live separate they will start thinking about all the good point you did for them and will might make your relationship with them better.
I recommend you to read this book "Get Smart with your Heart" by Suzanne Lopez I just got them last week already in love with it.
2006-11-29 01:43:21 · answer #3 · answered by love_rescue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would you consider selling your home and buying a duplex?
Put the two of them in one half unit, you and hubby in the other half. When they pass away, you'll know you honored the fifth commandment AND you got a rental property for income into your retirement.
(Yes it's drastic, but so is a divorce, putting parents into a nursing home, etc. This was all I could come up with.)
2006-11-29 01:35:46 · answer #4 · answered by upside down 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get out of there. If it's your home, the parents need to go. The situation will destroy your marriage. Tell your husband now.
2006-11-29 01:23:45 · answer #5 · answered by notyou311 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you really really need to get out...this is so unhealthy for your relationship...if you even have a relationship anymore with your husband. they need to stand on their own two (4) feet and take care of themselves or pawn them off on any siblings or another relative...your marriage cant handle this and by the way they are taking advantage of you guys. that is obvious
2006-11-29 01:23:51 · answer #6 · answered by Jessy 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Their survival is not your problem. They are grown up people. You and your husband need to get the heck out of that situation. It's not healthy at all.
2006-11-29 01:24:07 · answer #7 · answered by jare bare 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
" Its time to move away from the inlaws , or pack in the ol' marriage ... you decide. " ( thats why they have old folks homes)
2006-11-29 01:23:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋