What would you think if your parent confessed to you that he/she was molested as a child?

Question

My cousin asked me what I thought...Isn't that something the parent would want to keep from their child? but then again knowing may help the child Understand the parent. How would you react if your parent told you he/she had been molested?

Answer 1

well...i guess i would feel surprised that he/she told me the youngest child (29) and a bit honored. and then talk to him/her about why did they tell me that and if they want to talk more about their feelings about it. i wouldn't be offended...just a bit surprised if we were just talking about the weather a moment prior to the revelation.

Answer 2

I would wonder about the motive behind the brutal honesty. Is the parent seeking absolution at the expense of the child's emotional state? If the parent is making amends for past behaviors, and explaining the progression of behaviors that stemmed from the abuse, and the child is willing, accepting and emotionally capable of dealing with the facts then at some point it may be possible to discuss the facts. A Councellor, Psycologist, Doctor, or other mental health professional, would be a wise chioce to assist in dealing with the enevitable emotional turmoil that will be created by this proposed discussion. Bottom line, Go Slowly, Get Help before discussing this with a child, Be very careful. Shattering a childs belief or percieved god like appearance of parents can have serious lasting consequences for the child.

Answer 3

I would think that if a child was molested and the parent was doing ok, that it would be a good motivator to the kid.

I remembered being molested by 2 different people((relatives), one of them had molested my mother when she was a kid, by the time she told me not to be alone with him, it was years too late and she seemed to think it was normal) as a kid, then I was watching a movie the other night and I realized the same thing had happened to me. I had pretty much blocked it out. (Someone I babysat for).

I am not going to say I am perfect, but I have survived and sometimes people need to realize it. They must realize they are not alone and that life does go on.

I often wondered why I was so protective of my son, maybe this is why.

Answer 4

My mother actually did tell me that she was molested as a girl. No lie. She used it to explain why she has a really hard time trusting men and never really found a suitable father figure for me. At the time, I was just 14 years old, so I didn't really know what to think. It was just a really awkward moment. I've never brought it up again, and neither has she. But I've thought about it, and it seems to explain some of her somewhat neurotic behavior and also why she always warned me as a child about potential sexual predators. Since these experiences from her teenage years continue to affect her behavior, its obvious that she never really worked her way through it. I've hoped that she would seek therapy, but she prefers to go to church instead, but that doesn't seem to be working. Its just such a sensitive topic that I would never bring it up again unless she did.

Answer 5

I think my reaction would vary depending upon our relative ages. But above all, I would gain considerable respect for my parent, being able to share something extremely personal like that with me. I would try to be very accepting and understanding, and be prepared to listen very openly, encouraging my parent to get it all out and be healed by doing that. And of course I would keep it very confidential, just between the two of us, although I would encourage my parent to seek professional help if it was obvious that he or she was still very troubled by the experience.

Answer 6

i would say wow and go back to watching TV
many many, people have been molested by relatives,that is what relatives do
sad but true,

Answer 7

i would think they are very courageous to tell their story,and would value the parent even more for trusting in me for telling me something so tragic in their life that happened to them

Answer 8

It's not really important whether they tell you or not, if they brought you up properly and treated you right, where is the worry?

Answer 9

I would wonder why she told me after all these years (as she is 79)

Answer 10

i would wonder why she's telling me that all of a sudden and its been so long. so why dig it out?