Is it worthy it to forgive and forget???

Question

My husband and I were legally separated for a year and half. we were supposed to work in the relationship and we agree on not to be with anybody at least for a year. Later I found out that he had been with 3 prostitutes and after the year he had a relationship with a another women even though he knew it was breaking my heart. It did not lasted long and, acording to him it was insignificant. We got back together 2 months ago and things have been good for the most part but today I found out that I got an STD.When we went back together we started to be sexually active right way and he told me that he always used condoms with the others. Now it is obious that he didn't. I know that technically he was not cheating, but now I do not trust him. He is a great dad and I love him yet I am very hurt and things are awkrad beteew us. He seems very sorry and I want to belive that it was just bad judgment on his part, but I wonder if is still worthy it to work in this damage relationship.

Answer 1

YOU CAN STILL GET STD'S IF YOU USE CONDOMS!....... MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO TO COUNSELLING TOGETHER OTHERWISE YOU WILL KEEP RESENTING HIM AND IT WONT WORK, ALSO IF HE IS WILLING TO GO WITH YOU THEN YOU NO THAT HE IS SERIOUS ABOUT TRYING TO FIX THINGS UP....

GOOD LUCK!!!

Answer 2

Being separated kinda give him the opportunities he was looking for. I am sorry that you got a STD.......hopefully not HPV. If I was guessing that would be the one. I went thru a situation similar to that. He said he was sorry and he would have never done anything to hurt me. Well the damage is done and now I have to live with it. If you can find it in your heart to forgive him, do it. I wish that I could. But everytime I need a treatment, I have a constant reminder. I just don't understand men when it comes to not being safe. I understand that they look for sexual relief or pleasure. I believe that the thought of sex is on there mind almost all day. If you can forgive him, do. If not, don't waste your life fighting the emotions that arise in you. Life is too short. There are some good men out there........and I am not talking about married men. Good luck, dear.

Answer 3

Herpes and AIDS are for life, the others can be cured. Let's hope you have one of the treatable ones. Do you have a plan when you say you're working on the relationship? Seeing a councellor or something? If it's just to keeo trying the same routines, you need to let the relationship die, but if you are doing something specific to get things on track it would be worth it to give that plan a chance at healing your marriage. Good luck.

Answer 4

If you take him back though you don't trust him you run some risks. Trust has to be given on both sides of the relationship, he has to prove that he is 4real but you have to also try to trust but not in a overbearing way. There is some accountability to be had and there needs to be a good dose of counseling too.

Answer 5

WOW! Just found out he gave you an STD and already you are working on forgive and forget? Darling, give me an STD and you won't forget me anytime soon! I think you really need to think about this, as your husband may be giving you more presents that he doesn't know about. Like AIDS, or Herpes, or genital warts or whatever. Before I'd crawl back into the sack with him, I'd have my dog to the doctor, I mean husband.......short leash my hinney, I'd have him on a choke chain and he'd be using condoms from now until the day he died! Good luck with that one!

Answer 6

It depends for the marriage to work you will have to let this go and never bring it back up act like it didn't happen or you will become bitter.However if he is getting prostitutes how good of a husband and father could he be?No one on here can tell you to stay with him or leave only you know how he treats you and how you feel towards this man..Good luck with whatever decision you come to..

Answer 7

amp: To be both, open and honest with you, your husband was / is not much of a "husband" to be playing head games with you like he is. He likes his sex and not just with you, either ! You have contracted an STD from the galloping "gourmet" and he has lied to you ! Yes; "technically", he was cheating - as you both were not to be with anyone for a year. A "great dad" wouldn't be such a sneak with a great wife and mother, of his children, as yourself. Things are awkward between you and your husband because things ARE awkward. Your feedback from your feelings are to be translated as true and genuine. You are married to a womanizer - pure and simple. You would be best to leave him before he leaves you with another "contribution" of his conquests !

Answer 8

Sometimes stubbornness, bitterness, and resentment can really damage a relationship, IF you let it. I feel everyone deserves another chance. The Bible teaches to forgive, forgive, forgive. Through prayer and communication, I'm sure you will be able to work things out. Don't throw away everything because of negative feelings. Marriage takes alot of work.

Answer 9

Sometimes you can have an STD without having any symptoms, so he may not have known himself. But I would be worrying that he didn't use protection with the others.

I would probably forgive him as he didn't technically cheat, but I'd be watching him closely, lets hope for your sake he didn't get any of them pregnant since he used no protection!!

Answer 10

No, Honey. He lied to you continually and compromised your health. And he was technically cheating because he made a promise to you that he would not be with other people. I think you deserve better than this. Good luck.

Answer 11

I wish you best of luck and hope things work out for you both, I personally believe it's all worth it if you both truly love each other.
Good luck and God Bless