I told him he should get a vasectomy so we wouldn't have to worry about it at all and I could be free of this B.C.(birth control) but he refuses. He said I should get my tubes tied but it's not me who doesn't want any more kids, so I'm not cutting off my tubes just because he feels he's done reproducing.What should we do? Should I keep trying to convince him to get the vasectomy or should I suffer taking B.C. for the rest of my life?
2006-11-28 16:27:02 · 28 answers · asked by Ray 5 in Health ➔ Women's Health
I can't stand condums, tried depo-made me bleed for 4 months non-stop, patch gave me a rash, considering an IUD but we have crappy insurance and they don't cover it and we're broke :(
2006-11-28 16:33:47 · update #1
Thank you to everyone there are so many great answers and solutions to try. I appreciate all of your comments.
2006-11-30 17:15:53 · update #2
SORRY, BUT YOU ARE MARRIED TO A MALE CHAUVINIST PIG. HOW DARE HIM EXPECT YOU TO HAVE YOUR TUBES TIED WHEN HE IS THE ONE NOT WANTING ANY MORE CHILDREN. DOES HE NOT REALIZE THAT HE CAN HAVE HIS NUTS CUT ONE DAY AND BE BACK AT WORK THE NEXT. IF YOU HAVE YOUR TUBES TIED, IT IS AN ACTUAL SURGERY THAT TAKES A MINIMAL OF A WEEKS RECOVERY TIME. TELL HIM TO GET NEUTERED OR GET USED TO HAVING A GREASY PALM. YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE TO TAKE BIRTH CONTROL (WHICH BY THE WAY IS UNHEALTHY TO TAKE FOR TOO LONG) JUST BECAUSE HE WANTS TO GET HIS JOLLIES BUT NOT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR BIRTH CONTROL. WHAT A PIG.
I'M SORRY I'M IN ALL CAPS - BUT THIS REALLY PISSES ME OFF!!!!!
2006-11-28 16:37:58 · answer #1 · answered by MissyChele 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Any doctor will tell you there's less risk involved with him getting snipped. My husband just got this done a month ago, and it's really not that bad. He was able to have sex again with in a week, and he actually just got the call today and said he is sterile now. I would keep convincing him. I don't recommend getting your tubes tied. It's so much easier for a man to go thru the procedure. and birth control, well I will not take it. There are too many risks and side effects. I would try to talk to him about doing it. It's such a simple procedure it takes litterly 20 minutes. And he's home with in and hour. My husband only took pain meds for the first day, and he was up and around bye the next day. It's much safer for him to do it. and my husband is hornier now than he was before. He doesn't know why, but he just has like a crazy high sex drive now, and I can tell you that his cock gets much much harder. And it looks and feels bigger, I think it because he knows there are no worries involved and he can just do as he pleases. But I would talk him into it.
alot of guys are doing it now adays. it's almost like a fad.
2006-11-28 16:32:18 · answer #2 · answered by DnBprincess850 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you should perservere with the vasectomy....afterall like you say, it is your hubby who dosn't want to have any more little ones.
Maybe explain to him that
a) you're the one that's carried each of your children for 9 months and have done and are still doing everything necessary for the children that a mother is expected to do (good thing it comes naturally for us huh?!)
b) you still want children but are willing to not have anymore if HE's the one that has the vasectomy done
c) ask him if he thinks he's being fair in your marriage....it takes 2 to make a relationship work, and he's the one that wants to put his foot down and say more kids then he's the one that should be fair on you and act upon his feelings and get the Vasectomy done
Good luck with it all....I hope it works out in the end for you both...but try your hardest to stand your ground on this one.
2006-11-28 16:40:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If the man don't want no more kids, that's fine, but i think it is so rude and to an extent somewhat abusive when men pin the baby thing on women. It takes two to make one and if he doesn't want to put out he is the one who needs to get a vasectomy. You should not have to deal with the troubles of constantly taking pills and suffering considering since you do most of the work in the baby-making.
2006-11-28 16:31:39 · answer #4 · answered by lady t 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do you plan to stay with your husband? If you are not sure, then do not get your tubes tied. I would ask him if he plans to stay with you, and if he says yes then tell him he should get a vasectomy. Be armed with info about the side effects of birth control on women. If he gets the vasectomy be sure he follows the doctors instructions after, you don't want any "suprises". Good Luck.
2006-11-28 16:32:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most men think they would be losing there manhood or something, don't make sense to me either but one thing you could bring up to him is that it would be better for him to that because you know that B.C. can cause cancer and alot of other problems for woman and if he cares enough about your wellbeing and he already said "he" didn't want anymore kids then he shouldn't have a problem with it. If that does't work I would suggest that you go on the shots that way you don't have to take pills every day not to mention you don't have to deal with your peiods either. Wish you all the luck!!!!
2006-11-28 16:37:11 · answer #6 · answered by Sissy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to get the vasectomy or you could try a longer lasting bc. Like the depo (depovera ?) or theres a device that can be inserted in your upper arm that lasts for longer (I think five years). Can't remember name of it though, sorry.
I agree that you shouldn't get your tubes tied, if he doesn't want the kids than he should get the snip.
Check with your gp for other alternatives
2006-11-28 16:29:50 · answer #7 · answered by Katie G 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Frankly, I'm surprised that after a few years of marriage and a couple of kids, you're still having sex! :)
I'd stop taking the pills, and let him know it. If you still want kids, and he doesn't, that's a huge impass that may require a counselor's assistance. He should have some sperm frozen, and get a vasectomy. That way, if you still want kids together down the road, you can.
2006-11-28 16:34:20 · answer #8 · answered by marsminute 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could try getting an IUD. They can last from 5 to 10 years without worry. The Mirena is a 5 yr IUD that contains a hormone that drastically reduces your period each month.
2006-11-28 16:30:02 · answer #9 · answered by BeeB 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
ok heres an idea if you dont want anymore kids right now well what about looking into an iud implant it costs less then all those pills and its not permanent and there are no side effects.the minera iud implant has hormones in it and lasts about 5 years the copper iud implant lasts about 7 - 10 years and they can be taken out anytime you want to have kids again.
2006-11-28 16:31:26 · answer #10 · answered by cookiemonster5210 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋