My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year. I'm 23 and finishing my last year of college. My boyfriend is caring and supportive and the best boyfriend that I've ever had, but he is 26, only works one day a week, and still lives at home. He doesn't seem to have any aspirations of a full-time job or of ever leaving his parent's house. He spends most of his time with his mother (lunch together, going to movies, watching tv, shopping, etc) when he's not with me or at work. When he stays with me on the weekends, he will talk to his mother/family on the phone 2 or 3, sometimes more, times a day. How do I tell him that I don't feel like I am as important to him as his family? How do I tell him that if we are going to have a serious relationship, he needs to take on more responsibility and start acting more mature?
2006-11-28 16:26:23 · 9 answers · asked by des07 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
hey boyfriend, grow up
2006-11-28 16:29:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't try to compare you to his family, because that's no comparison you should make. But, you are right. This guy must start acting mature. Tell him to get more mature and responsible. I'm going to school and I have a job that I work a lot more than he does. He must want to depend on his mother all the time, which is sad because one of these days she will die (old age). Ask him who is going to support him when that happens. Don't tell him you are going to fully support him, because he must pull his share of weight. He should be allowed to be with his family, but he should learn to get independent. I'm 22 and I plan to move out in a year. He's 26? Wow. I seem to be a lot better off than him.
2006-11-29 00:42:22 · answer #2 · answered by Chris 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My deear, you have tied your star to a sinking ship that is taking on water. Run, don't walk to the nearest exit. Your boyfriend is just that....a BOY! No man lives with his Mother at 26 and only works one day a week and then stays with the gf on weekends. WOW! Some ambition he has huh? Think about this, will he be equally as helpful when your married life begins? Will he care for your children and be an example of what to do for your kids? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm? Hard thoughts, but seriously I can see nothing positive coming from this. Good luck!
2006-11-29 00:37:59 · answer #3 · answered by Tippy's Mom 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just talk to him during lunch or dinner. Tell him about your seriousness towards the relationship and tell him about the outcome if he stays this way. Good luck.
2006-11-30 03:30:03 · answer #4 · answered by hafidz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
um just like that!! but i dont see anything wrong with him being part of a close nit family you just need to sit down an have a heart to heart with your partner, let him know how you feel an that you would really like to have a more active roll in his life, as for the job thing....thats up to him i guess but you could inspire the idea. goodluck anyway.
2006-11-29 00:37:00 · answer #5 · answered by WESTIE GURL 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just walk the hell a way. There's other caring guys out there with careers. Guys like that never change.
2006-11-29 00:30:04 · answer #6 · answered by texascrazyhorse 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
"GROW UP" Tell him he need to take more responsibility, and you're feeling unappreciated. If he doesn't listen, here's a simple answer. LEAVE HIM!
2006-11-29 00:36:33 · answer #7 · answered by zaitsev_v1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you tell him to grow up, by leaving him. Then he will have to show you that he is taking the initiative to want to be with you.
Good luck.
2006-11-29 00:30:32 · answer #8 · answered by seatony 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
discuss this with your boyfriend. if he knows how you really fell he might straighten up and get serious.
2006-11-29 00:34:08 · answer #9 · answered by coolquackchick 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋