Why do older gay men prefer younger gay men?

Question

One of my buddy's were 20yrs old and he logged into a website where guys meet other guys, and in a matter of hours he recieved messages from older men at the age of 30-50 yrs old. His profile was sexually suggestive, or reffering to anything which had to do with sex, or any thoughts of that nature. I also happened to experience the same experience.

Answer 1

I don't think most older guys are like that, but the ones that are sure don't lack in confidence and have a healthy self image.

I get some unwanted attention from guys older than my dad, but I am able to deflect it with out bruising egos. My view on it, is that its a compliment and if the worst thing that happens to me that day is that a Boomer dude hits on me, then its been a good day.

Answer 2

Just move over folks and let an expert in........

White, gay, late 50's......I've never had a boyfriend over 30, with one disastrous exception. The last one, which didn't work out too well, was 24, and before that, about 5 years ago, a 3 year relationship with a seriously cute guy of 25.

The question is, of course, why?

I'm not sure I really know the answer, but contrary to typical stereotypes, I am not in the least bit predatory, and would never come on to anyone in a chat room.

Gay people, like straight people, can be very different, and what I personally find very natural and very easy, is to be genuinely interested in people; including much younger people. In this respect, it makes me a good teacher and quite paternal, without being patronising.

I suppose it's the gay alternative to parenthood, but at a more mature level. It is certainly NOT about role-play.

It isn't even necessarily a sexual thing, because I have many young friends who just bounce up to me and want to be in my company; possibly because they feel safe, secure and valued. I laugh at their jokes, share in their successes and joys, comfort them when things go wrong, but most of the time, it's just the interplay of youthful energy and older wisdom, which the Greeks understood so well.

I can say this with all sincerity, that two young gay men now walk the planet very successfully, and it gives me a real buzz to know that I played a significant part in that.

Sometimes there is an additional spark, which comes totally out of the blue, and which is relaxed, easy-going and no threat to anyone.

There's a 20 year old I know well, and he visits sometimes and even stays with me. There's no sex, but together we laugh, relax, have a great time and just bounce off each other. In fact, we both just light up when we meet.

He tells me that he doesn't want a lover yet, and I have to respect what he says, and whilst I don't want to be a fortune-teller, I think he may have one sooner than he thinks. If it happens, it will happen quite spontaneously and without any pressure from me.

Most 20-year-olds enjoy the company of their peers more than anything else, but a small percentage, for whatever reason, find real comfort and security in older men. Rather than be offended, a 20-year-old should feel good that someone fancies them. It doesn't last forever!

A much more interesting question is why so MANY young guys from the Phillipines and from Thailand, would squabble over getting an older boyfriend. For many of them, the older man is a real prize.....and not just because of the money. It's just a cultural thing with them.

Answer 3

The best way to avoid this if you do not want a certain catagory of guys responding to your ad when you are on a web site or in a chat room where guys can hook up or meet other guys is to say what you are looking for. I find it is better to say what you are looking for rather then what you are NOT looking for. I don't know why but people seem to be quicker at telling you what they don't want then what they do want. So for instance if you are 20 years old and you are only interested in meeting guys around your age say that. "I'm a 20 year old gay male and I am looking to meet other gay guys between 18 and 22 for friendship only!" If you are not interested in big guys say that, "I'm 5'8", 140lbs with a tonned body and I am looking for guys with similar body structure!" Don't be mean or nasty and say things like "no old fart" or "no fatties" or "no fems" just keep it positive and kind.
I think some older men like younger me because it make them feel younger and as every body I am sure knows, nobody likes to get old! I thinjk that there are a lot of str8 men that like younger women too though, so this is not just a gay thing! And as long as there are older people who are into younger people and younger people who are into older people then everybody will be happy! Nobody is forcing anybody and if you don't like something all you have to do is say, "No Thank You!"
*hugs*
JAC<

Answer 4

Young in any sex is always attractive. Being gay myself, seeing a good looking slim young guy makes my day, not in a lustful way but in an admiring way. Young guys are normally flexible and energetic too, very useful in the bedroom hehe! But the down side to young gay guys is some just want to shag drink drugs and more shagging. Mostly between themselves and sadly, some are lazy about safe sex. Good luck to them, because we were all young once and we all (if we were lucky) shagged like rabbits. Some also think they know it all and are reluctant to listen to advice about sex and emotions. Once a gay guy reaches 30, then options may change. But there are plenty of younger guys who like an older more experienced guy. Over 50 and you've had it from most younger guys point of view. The perception is you're old and past it. Get to my age and you've no chance, because the perception then is an old man with dirty pants, wrinkly old face, obese or fat and a limp ****. Fortunately, I know better and so does my boyfriend who's 20+ years younger than me.

Answer 5

Old straight men are no different from old gay men. They are attracted to young smooth bodies. Do you see older women in Playboy or Hustler? I don't think so. Also, in most western countries there are more older men because of the low population rate. Its no wonder, these guys will fight over you! In the Philippines there are a lot of young guys around who are not that interested in older men. In fact most consider over 25 as a bit old. I got that comment a lot when I reached that age. If anyones counting I am 34 years old.

I suggest in your online profile, you place an age preference (looking for 18 to 25, etc...) so that you wont get messages from old farts like me LOL And saying that you into anything that deals with sex will surely grab anyones attention. Be more specific so you will get messages from people that matches your taste.

Answer 6

I'm younger and I prefer older gay men.

Younger gay men are still insecure about their sexuality which is a total turn-off. They also act like they're fourteen all the time and lack self-confidence. They act way too wimpy!!!

This is why I love older gay men as they've learned to grow up and be proud of who they are.

Just my personal experience. I'm sure there are younger gay men out there that have self-confidence, but I haven't met any yet. They all rely on their girlfriends to make them feel better. Well, there comes a time in your life when you have to stand up for yourself because nobody else will.

Answer 7

Not all older gay men prefer younger gay men! It could be that there happen to be more older gay men looking for someone to go out with for the same reason that there are more older people of any gender and sexual orientation looking for someone to go out with- if they're still single at that point, they're probably more likely to go to great lengths to find someone. I'm not saying that many older gay men don't look for younger men, but there are a variety of other possibilities for why that happened.

Answer 8

A 'Boomer dude' oh no Iam being type cast again!!
Ok to the point most prefer toned,youthful yet very much legal stud muffins because many of us 'Boomers' use to look that good,and or still do!
We enjoy more youthful interests,yet are responsible,deeply caring,overly honest,and the kind of friend you'd think those of mature hearts and minds would want.

To Songndance there is no connection you keep trying to draw one between gays.g0ys,bi's,and nambla- but it aint' there either by scientific data,or NIJ data.

The stud muffins of consentual age up and into their late 20's are the best of both male and female often (eye candy!)
And if youre lucky youll find one with a mature mind,and then wow.

But actually I think many people began in this lifestye when they were much younger,and the features,and character we found attractive then we still do today-within of course Consentual Age.

Answer 9

I think some men do it to take advantage of the younger men. I worked in an industry with many older gay men as coworkers and I was constantly told that I was gay but just didn't know it yet, I would get hit on a lot.

If you look at groups like NAMBLA, it is obvious that some prey on younger men and boys.

Answer 10

There could be many reasons why younger guys are with older men. however, three reasons stand out. It could be the fact that the older man still hasn't caught up with his age. he still sees himself as being 18 yrs old, therefore relating to younger men. Or it can be the fact that the younger guy is more attracted to the older man's money. (That kind of relationship has nothing to do with attraction. Just using each other!) The third could be that the older man is a total perv. and the younger guy is too stupid to know that.