Do you think about "the one that got away?

Question

I'm 35. Re-assessing my life and what I want. I can't help but think about "the one" I really wanted. Have any of you gone back to an old flame? Did you pick up where you left off? Would you find them if/when you are no longer married?

Answer 1

Once in a while, but I dwell not in the past.

Answer 2

I had a couple get away before the one that didn't (and hasn't.) I do think of them from time to time and will always have some feelings for them - that's just my nature - but my feelings for my wife are the strongest so there's no way I'd ever go back now.

If I were single and one of them expressed an interest in getting together? That depends on which one and if we seem to have grown more or less compatible over the years. I've pretty much lost all contact with either of them, though, so who knows? It's a moot point anyway.

Thanks for this question. It brought back a few nice old memories for me.

Answer 3

Of course there are times when we think about "the one that got away". But if you take a good look at your life now, would you change it? If things didn't work out with my husband, I wouldn't want to go back to any of the ones that "got away". If they got away, it was for a reason. If it was meant to be you'd would never have broken up or let him get away. It's fun to sit with my girls and talk and laugh about past loves, what it was like back then and what it might be like now, and then reality hits and you realize that life would be miserable.

Don't look back and wonder what could have been girlfriend! Look ahead and talk about how it's gonna be!

Answer 4

Unfortunately, I think about the hundreds of "ones" that got away. Anytime I have ever gone back to an ex, I would find myself wondering how I ever was with her in the first place. We had become that different as people.

And so I have made my life into a car that has no reverse. Only forward...

Answer 5

I am 43 and always think about "the one" that got away. She was the love of my life...still is. I do believe that not fulfilling this "dream" has caused me to diligently pursue the "meaning of life." I find myself pondering philosophical questions that probably would not have been of concern otherwise. If everything was perfect, what would we learn? We learn in the face of adversity (and imperfection, incompletion, unsatisfaction...etc.) ...Or we live happily. Look at the bright side. You may not be 100% happy, you're a philosopher! Have a nice day! :)

Answer 6

that's going backwards and you are playing the what if game.its never the same time changes all things.right now an old friend that married someone else and is very unhappy has contacted me and she is different and is looking to me for moral support.i feel that she is wasting my time, but i will help her because she was a friend to me.i tell her how to protect herself and to have a good lawyer.i am a hopeless romantic and sometimes by chance two people will meet again and start over.did you see THE NOTEBOOK,awl some movie

Answer 7

Yes I did get back with my "first love"..."the one that got away" However I knew quite well that we had both grown, had lived different lives and had changed quite a bit since highschool. If you ever do get the chance to meet up with your's be mature enough to realize things are not what they were so long ago and far away, you've both lived your lives differently and have grown in different directions, don't rely on the fantasy because you will only be disappointed and hurt.

Answer 8

ALL THE TIME! I'M GOING THROUGH THAT RIGHT NOW AS WE SPEAK! I'M 33 AND MY OLD FLAME IS UNBELIEVABLE! I STILL LOVE HIM SO MUCH! WE WANT TO PICK UP WHERE WE LEFT OFF AT, BUT WE BOTH ARE IN RELATIONSHIPS RIGHT NOW. WE JUST HAPPEN TO FIND ONE ANOTHER ONE DAY A FEW MONTHS AGO. THE HEAT IS STILL THERE, BUT SINCE WE ARE IN RELATIONSHIPS WE DECIDED TO KEEP COOL FOR NOW, BUT WE WANT TO SEE WHERE THIS CAN GO IN THE NEAR FUTURE AFTER OUR RELATIONSHIPS ARE OVER WITH. THE PROBLEM WITH US IS, THE TIMING WAS NEVER RIGHT FOR US TO REALLY BE TOGETHER.

Answer 9

I often think about 'the one that got away'. I almost ran over this gorgeous brown-eyed girl in college. I was in a relationship at the time, and I didn't pursue her, even though she seemed interested in me. The following week, the relationship I was in ended and I couldn't find that girl again.
That's been about 10 years now, and I still think about that girl.

Answer 10

I had a boyfriend as a late teen who I was in love with, but he broke up with me and got with someone else. I also moved on and got with someone else. He was instantly jealous and asked me to go back to him. I partly said no b/c I loved the new bf but also to spite him. 12 years later I still think of him frequently, and whether I should of got back with him. What makes it worse is I know he sees me as the one that got away as well and that he regrets letting me go. We've never acted on our feelings though.

He has a gf, but I have to say if I wasn't attached, and nor was he I know we'd be a couple again.

Answer 11

I think about what could have been. We were wonderful friends and interested in persuing a relationship but we lived 500 miles apart and this was before the internet (perish the thought). We both knew that it wouldn't work so we never persued it. I think about him often but I wouldn't trade it for what I have in a million years.