We were married for 20 years. He chose a different path then I did. We have been friends. He wants me to be friends with her. It is so wierd. What would u do???? We are getting a divorce.......when he files the papers.
2006-11-28 15:33:57 · 23 answers · asked by chocoholic_40 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would be civil to her but if it bothers you that much, I would let him know when he is by himself not to bring her to your house anymore. Tell him it is just too awkward at this time. Maybe when things get farther along you will feel differently. He should respect your space and your feelings. Especially if you were married for 20 years.
2006-11-28 15:37:26 · answer #1 · answered by babyj248 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's great that you can still be civil and not be eaten up with bitterness!
The important thing here is, How do YOU feel about it?
If you don't feel like it, you can just tell him, "hey, you know I am happy for you, etc...but I am not ready right now. I would prefer to just meet her in the natural course of life." Which shouldn't be your house!
There is no reason for him to bring her over. If you are on different paths, then those paths shouldn't be crossing too often!
You have to do what feels right...if it feels wierd, forget it...do it when it's not so wierd.
2006-11-28 15:45:06 · answer #2 · answered by seaelen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, what a nerve. How do you feel, then act upon how you feel and let him know quickly, change some of your lifestyle by maybe not being home when he says he is coming over, join some clubs, met new people, play sport, etc. fill your life, so you are not available to entertain him and his new partner. If there are children involved, make a set time or arrangement for him to pick them up and deliver them home, none of this rubbish, him landing on you with this new lady. What a pig, but, "there is more than one way to skin a cat", play him at his own game.
I am also wondering if it all worth it, just tell him, not to bring her, and get on with your life. I had the same problem, my ex's new wife didnt like him coming to my place to pick up his daughter with out her, she was jealous, she was worried he might change his mind, (I was the one who divorced him), so she would come with him to make sure he did not spend any unnessary time at my place. I did not even worry about it, until my daughter told me that when she was at their place, this woman was slapping her face and ill treating her, so then I stepped in and told him he would have to take her out on his own, my daughter was not to stay at his place. anyway, just make the decision, and tell him, if he wishes to visit he must do it alone or not at all. You will never get on with your life if you dont. Good Luck dear
2006-11-28 15:50:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is an akward situation to say the least,
but if it makes you feel uncomfortable, you should just tell him so, and also tell him in no uncertain words that is your final answer.
Tell him "Im divorcing you....and we dont even need to be friends if that is the way you want it"
Dont give him a choice, and if he asks why,
tell him you dont need to give him any explanation other than it makes you uncomfortable, and unless he wants something
BAD to happen, he should just leave it alone.
Tell him she is his problem, and you dont appreciate him bringing her around to try and make her your friend. Next thing you know he will be asking you to entertain her while he is out with the boys...making you a girlfriend sitter.
Who knows, maybe he will try for a Menage a Toi and Two Wives! Tell him to leave/dump his trash at home!
2006-11-28 15:44:47 · answer #4 · answered by John P 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If the problem can't be solve and I can't stand it anymore, then, I will get ready to be independent in everything and financially, after that, I will file a divorce, instead of wasting my time to spend life with someone weird, no respect and doesn't love me. As a partner, we should have a commitment and respect each other, instead of hurting your feeling and it may wash your brain and you will be weird too. Just leave him. There are a lot of nice guys out there, other than him. Good Luck !!.
2006-11-28 15:44:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry but I would freak for one you guys are not technically divorced so adultery is an issue secondly why in the world would you want to be friends with the woman that most likely stole your man from you in the first place. Tell him flat out that you would feel weird and uncomfortable having anything to do with his GF and that he should be ashamed for even asking. It's your choice in the end so do what you feel is right. God Bless and Good Luck.
2006-11-28 15:41:24 · answer #6 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you can remain friends. Just tell him that you just don't feel comfortable around his g/f at this time. He should give you that respect. Maybe at a later time, you will feel different. I just hope he isn't just flaunting her in front of you to hurt you. I was married 23 years, I would not care if he brought his g/f to my house at this time but we have been divorced 3 years now.
2006-11-28 15:46:58 · answer #7 · answered by c_my_blueeyes 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You've been married for 20 years and getting along, why wouldn't you involve her in your life. She obviously is going to be part of it in some way. I am sure you have children Christmas is coming and it would be wonderful if you could put the immaturity aside. I am friends enough with my husbands ex (for the kids) and I am friends with mine (ex's). Try to maintain a level of maturity and responsibility for the kids. You do not have to exclusively be friends with her, but you should be friendly.
Please do not let people talk you down to the immature level of most scorned ex's. Rise above it and be proud of your decisions.
2006-11-28 15:51:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He went by a divorce and became screwed by the legal gadget. he will be making baby help funds for decades yet to come back and also you ask your self why he's hesitant? No guy might want to signal their call on somewhat of paper legalizing the state to take his resources. in case you desire a courting then provide it a shot yet do not ever assume him to pick to get married again. he's discovered his lesson and could be finding out to purchase a lengthy time period to come back.
2016-11-29 22:09:23 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he should be a little more sensitive. It's just too soon to become friends w/ his new gf. divorce is painful whether it's a good choice or you wanted it. He didn't give himself time to get over the relationship but you have every right to give yourself time to move on.
2006-11-28 15:38:43 · answer #10 · answered by uknowme 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋