how can i deal with my fathers suicide & help y 4yr old deal as well?

Question

it happend sept 5 but we have a lot going on until now like a new baby started to school and now x-mas way his favorant time af year all i can do is cry

Answer 1

I am so sorry for your loss. First of all, please know that your father's act had nothing to do with you.
A four year old is too young to be told about suicide. It is difficult for them to grasp the concept of death at all. Surely there was a memorial service or a funeral. If the child did not attend have a private one. Look through a family album and remember some good times with your father. Tell him that granddad passed away. Tell him that means you won't see him again, but you will always love and miss him. Tell him you can share memories about granddad anytime he wants. That it is alright to cry about this and feel sad, but it is also alright to be happy and granddad would want him to remember the happy days they shared.
Let this be something you believe yourself! Life must go on. Get some grief counseling for yourself and/or join a survivor's support group.
Celebrate Christmas with your child. You don't want the season to be a dark memory for him. It will cheer you up to do this. Decorate your home together. Remember you are building memories with your child.
Allow yourself some private time each day to mourn, but do gather your courage to celebrate with your child.
Perhaps buy a Christmas card for your father. Write in it all the feelings you have about your loss. Seal it and put it away.
If you celebrate Christmas you must have a belief in God. Pray for your healing. Release any guilt you may be feeling to God. Pray for your father.
Again, my sympathy and my prayers go out to you. A tribute to your father would be living the fullest life you can.

Answer 2

For the four year old, I would suggest that you explain suicide in the best manner possible without calling it suicide. Maybe saying that your father had to move on because he was needed somewhere else might do. Think about it from a kid's understanding and go from there. And for you, I would suggest, depending on your age, that you try to understand what your father did and why. Try to see life as it was on earth in his eyes. This is a ****** up world, and it manipulates people and plays tricks on our emotions. How you will react to the world depends on how sensitive you are. Maybe your father was needed somewhere else, in the next life or maybe God has another plan for him. It's whatever you believe. But come to terms with things in your father's point of view, and remember to take time going through the phases of grief. contact me if you wanna talk. : )

Answer 3

emily: My heart goes out to you ... what a tragic thing to happen to a family. Emily; you will need to talk to another adult - someone close to you, who is a good listener. You are in a state of grieving right now, and will need someone to talk with. It's alright to grieve and to allow yourself to feel what you are feeling at this time. The 4 year old son or daughter (?) will miss their grandpa and need reassurance, as well. Explain to him or her, that people die ( he or she needs closure ) and that their grandpa is sleeping peacefully. You might find it beneficial to take your child to the grave site and explain this to him or her. Be prepared for questions ... be honest with him or her but don't have to go into every last detail since he or she is a child. As far as, x-mas time, make it pleasant as much as possible. Invite friends and relatives over for company for both, yourself and your son or daughter. Buy special treats (something for both of you that you really like for the occasion ). Remember; talk your feelings out - there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. Expect periods of depression and anger ... this is normal.

Answer 4

TALK to others. This site is a good place. And find support groups in your town. Also, doing aerobics and stretching every day will RELEASE the pain and tension you feel. Make Christmas a celebration of the man you called Dad. We celebrate the death of Jesus, lets include your dad in this celebration. Both are now in a better place we call Heaven.

Answer 5

Honey I wish I could take the hurt away for you I will say a prayer that the Lord will give you inner piece. when I was so depressed that was the one thing that got me through. I could almost feel his arms around me. I will pray that you get some help to get through the holidays and that your baby gets what she wants for Christmas. Hugs and many more hugs, God Be with You my dear.

Answer 6

i know that this is a difficult time for you and your daughter.i dont know if you go to church or not but when i lost my father my pastor prayed for me and people i knew from the church helped me so much.i lost weight and had bad dreams and was so sad. i didnt ever think i would be happy again. but god turned my situation around for me.look to god for comfort and talk to your friends and loved ones.love your daughter much and try to explain that grandfather was not well thats why he did what he did.spend much time with your daughter and do special things with her and pray and ask god to lift the sadness from your heart. i had to pray and ask god to help me when my son died and when my brother died.god has been there for me through thick and thin. i will be praying for you and your daughter.there is a 24 hour number you can call . these people are kind and caring. they listen ans have helped me so much.the number is1-330-929-5010

Answer 7

It will be hard to deal with it. my husband died three years ago. I told my daughter that he was her Guardian angle now and could see all that she was doing, I have to keep reminding her of the good times.
Suicide is a hard thing to over come. I will pray for you

Answer 8

COUNSELING, HON'.
AND KEEP ON CHATTING WITH US CRAZY FOLK ON HERE.