okay, one of my friends, well we think she might be a lesbian or bi. i have ABSOLUTELY no problem with it, but she is always touching people. in chapel today she touched my boob, and yesterday she was touching me and my friend Erika on our waists and trying to "feel our hipbones". she also said "for someone black, you sure don't have a butt" to me, and to my friend Erika, who is mexican "you have a big *** erika!!" i don't understand, just help. i don't like very touchy feely people unless they are my boyfriend. it makes me feel uncomftorable, i mean i'd feel the same way even if she was a guy. probably even more uncomftorable.
2006-11-28 15:20:17 · 14 answers · asked by lauren 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
ok, i confronted her today and she said that she was trying to feel our hipbones because we are "too skinny" and we should "gain weight". i told her that her touchin discomforts me, and she got mad!
2006-11-29 10:29:14 · update #1
You answered your own question. Just tell her your uncomfortable with being touched so much unless its someone you are intimate with.
There is no need to bring her sexuality into this - the issue is personal space and comfort.
2006-11-28 15:24:13 · answer #1 · answered by freshbliss 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm...
Well, bumping into someone is different then grabbing them, so you need to make sure you know which your friend was doing.
As far as the comments about your rear-ends are concerned, maybe she noticed yours and your friend's because she's not happy with how hers looks? I do that, if I have a body part i'm not happy with at the moment, I tend to notice how others' look...comparing and all that. Now, was she grabbing your hips like you were about to go doggy style, or was she just steadying you or moving you out of the way? You made it sound like she had grabbed ahold of you like she was ready to 'do something.'
Some people grow up in very affectionate homes, always hugging the kids night and all, other's don't. Which did your friend grow up in? Maybe she's touchy feely because that's what she was raised in?
Good luck, I hope I've helped some!
2006-11-28 15:30:29 · answer #2 · answered by Midnight Butterfly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anything is possible sweetie!! Is it a good idea to pursue a meaningful relationship or a purely sexual relationship with someone you work with probably not! The only reason being is that if you encounter any type of problem at home or during your off time then your problems will pour over into work. Once your boss notices that then it could mean termination for one or both of you. If both of you can seperate work from home then it could work, but when you see each other 24 hours a day a fight is bound to occur in the work place. I tried that once myself, after we broke up it was very hard to go to work everyday because we lost the professional relationship that we had. I ended up leaving the job because communication between us was a pivotal part of completing our daily tasks. The only other question I have is, Where in the US are you and why are there not more women like you. You are pretty damn sexy!!
2016-05-23 00:11:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your feelings are justified. Somehow you have to tell her that you think the touchy feely stuff is rude, or that you are really uncomfortable with it. That the only person you feel comfortable touching you that way isd your boyfriend, and you are n't trying to hurt her feelings or embarrass her. It's just that she is embarrassing you.
I guess just tell her if she was straight, you would feel the same way about the touching stuff.
2006-11-28 17:11:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try telling her that she is making you feel uncomfortable. Talk to her and tell her you do not have a problem with her being bi, just that you don't swing that way and that you don't want her feeling on you. It could be that she is just being a little too friendly. Or maybe she knows it bothers you and thinks it is funny.
2006-11-28 15:27:39 · answer #5 · answered by Phillip Bob 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't matter if she's lesbian or bi. What matters is how you feel, and if you don't like her touching you, say so. Some people do it unconsciously, just because they come from affectionate homes or whatever. Some people might do it because they were sexually abused. Who knows. All that matters is that you don't enjoy it, sexually motivated or not. Say so.
2006-11-28 15:24:41 · answer #6 · answered by sacredvanity 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't worry about whether she is a lesbian or not. I think you need to explain to her the concept of personal space and what sort of affection you are comfortable with. And maybe a tip or 2 on what is appropriate to say about someone's butt.
2006-11-28 15:28:25 · answer #7 · answered by Wendi lu who 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Different cultures have different ideas of what acceptable touching is, but I think she's overstepping her boundaries in about every culture. Let her know both that you're accepting of her and that you don't like her touching you like that. She may be too scared to come out, so she's outing herself in another, worse, way.
2006-11-28 16:28:38 · answer #8 · answered by carora13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just keep an open mind and be honest.But, don't say anything about her maybe being gay. What if she's not. Just tell her you don't like to be touched like that.
2006-11-28 15:26:03 · answer #9 · answered by Mel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her, nicely, in private.
If you are friends, she will be able to hear what you have to tell her.
Otherwise, just make sure you are sitting farther away from her at all times.
;-)
2006-11-28 15:25:24 · answer #10 · answered by WikiJo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋